Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Review: Clean face toner & Klairs serum

Hi guys!

If you ever read my blog post before mentioning on how disappointed I was regarding Nourain and the mercury issue, yes I stopped using that product and I decided not to use any of the local products anymore. No, I didn't break out once I stopped using it, thank god! but, I do get bumps and pimples after 2 months. I am not sure whether it is after effect or not. Well, I am pretty sure it is not (I think) cause I am more positive that it all happened because I was stressing out a lot. I caught fever since I used my body too much. As soon as I recovered from my cold, all my pimples strike out like crazy. It is sad, I know :(

Anyway, since that happened. I've been watching a lot of skincare routine videos to improve back my skin texture lol. I literally watch lotsss of it okay. Hence, I am following religiously with the korean steps of skin care. I loveee how it improves my skin. It takes quite a time but I know it is much safer, slowly but surely. So right now pimples all gone after 5 months, alhamdullillah =) I need to work on with my hyper pigmentation and scars.

I am starting off with double cleansing now - oil cleanser - normal cleanser - toner - serum - blemish cream - scar cream - sunscreen.

I exfoliate my skin twice a week and also wear mask once per week.

I know it looks quite complicated, I used to be so lazy too but after having such smoother skin day by day I get much more motivated to get clearer skin and I am attached to them now hehehe

If you are curious on the products I use currently, I am using Dr. Belmeur clarifying line from The Face Shop. I started off with only cleanser and moisturizer (the most amazing moisturizer I used so faaar. Love love it) but not the toner since I was out of the budget and I couldn't afford them at once lol. I am not going to review the line in this post cause I will talk about them later. In today's post it's gonna be my honest review on my empty toner bottle and also serum I used for the past 5 months!

So everybodeehh, let's talk trash!

The toner recommended by the sales girl when I wanted to purchase face shop items was Clean Face, Mild toner. It claims that it has tea tree leaf extract and it can treats oily and problematic skin. Well, I love the tea tree leaf scents but I think it is pretty strong for people who do not like scented skin care. This toner also contains alcohol which might not be a favorable ingredient to some people I think. So far, I might say this is not an incredible toner as it is very mild. All I can say that once I put on this toner on my face, I feel that all those skin care I put afterwards really absorb nicely on my face. But it didn't do much on pores or white heads. I bought it around RM35.00 if I am not mistaken. It is affordable, considering its ability and the price I do think it is quite reasonable.

So yeah, my score for this toner is 3/5.
It is average and suitable for normal skin.

The second empty for the past 5 months is my klairs serum; freshly juiced vitamin drop. This is totally a hit for me! It is actually vitamin c serum which contains centella asiatica extract that is very good for pimples. I am afraid of how vitamin c might tingles my skin initially, but after trying it out it doesn't irritates me and I feel like my face is getting brighter and it helps in reduce my hyper pigmentation too. The consistency of the serum is not that viscous compared to other serum. It is actually kinda feel like a bit watery and it absorbs well too. Since it claims that it has hybrid stabilization technology, the vitamin c doesn't oxidized and they only use plastic and transparent bottle to store the serum. I love the packaging because it is light and easy to bring anywhere. I do think it is a superb serum and I love it so much. The only cons that I can think is the price. It is very pricey as it might cost around RM100+ but if you are able to find a trusted seller in shopee or lazada, the price might dropped to RM90+ if I am not mistaken. Because of it is quite expensive I have switched my serum to 20% of vitamin c serum tiam source (might review this later on). I do feel the difference actually. Comparing these two serums, I must say that Klairs serum is more of my baby of course!

My score for this serum is 4.5/5!
Lovee it.

This is my honest review on these 2 items. Opinions and thoughts might differ from others too.

So yeah, I can now chuck out my trashes into the trash bin now =)

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Another lost

Today is the day of me losing my 93 years old grandpa.
No, I didn't go back home. 
Instead I am writing my blog here in the place where I work the most. 
The molecular lab.

I am now confuse of how exactly I should feel. 
Should I feel at lease a lot better coz I've seen tok was struggling so much last time?
Should I feel sad, crying underneath my pillow because I will never see him again?
Should I feel relieved because tok should be in the better place now? 
And the question is, is it a really 'better place' for him since everyone's better place is distinct from each other for sure. 

Death is a sure thing, when I think it back thing that is worrisome to me is of course the after death life. O Allah, place my mother and my grandpa to the best place in the hereafter along with the syuhada' and the believers. Grant them the highest level of paradise. 

For a person who still need to work in uplifting Islam as our sole goal, 
let us still work for your battle is not over yet. 

Al fatihah to both my grandpa & mom. 
I love you.
Lillahitaala. Always.

Semoga aku menjadi zuriat yang solehah, menjadi asbab mereka ke syurga.
Tetap sabar dan kuat iAllah. 

Monday, February 5, 2018

The frustrating 30%

Hi guys.

To tell you the truth I kind of lose my motivation to endure my normal days. I am not a person who lose to myself, instead I fight for everything I have to fight and stay strong by myself even if the world is against me. The best I need is just myself to keep going.

Lately things don't go on their way. I think I am frustrated over my research project. The thing is I have like 30% to complete so my lab work would be officially done.  However it goes the other way round. I believe that in research everything is unpromising and really fragile. The samples you have etc. When you are working in the field of microbiology, this is even harder because you can't really see anything until you run a confirmatory test. And those tests are the most heart-wrenching thing evaaa people!

I was on my way back from the lab so I stopped by the cafe to grab some food, eventually I met a 5th sem master student and we had a chat. She decided to extend her semester so she has ample time to write her thesis. I am always worry in this kind of thing. This anxiety nowadays get quite annoying and hair loss is not a joke too. Haih

As time goes by, I feel quite empty and lonely.

I do sometimes underrated myself, and sometimes I do have some expectation as well.
I am so complicated, yeah I know lol.

I think I need someone to at least console me, tell me that you believe in me when I have doubt in myself, and making me feel a lot more confident back.

Off my eye bags, pale and breaking out face. 
Smiling makes you look brighter, at least it hides 
your struggles. 
I need a booster, please.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Ibrahs I learnt in '17

It's the 3rd page of 365 days book.

I guess, it is not too late to still feel the vibe of 'azam baru' and also 'new year'. It always feel fresh and a brand new start whenever the 1st of January is approaching but this year, I was literally too busy doing chores at home till I can't even list out all those things I wanted to change. Achievements of 2018 has been already outlined in my planner in the beginning of  December last year. I always got the gut of dreaming big, I know. Ticking all of them at the end of the year is another thing to think hehe.

I postponed on updating my blog quite a few times. I drafted 2 posts but haven't finish writing them. Pretty out of mood to be honest, ended up I have nothing to look back at December of 2017 in my blog. As I get older, my online diary is growing too. Turning 11 years old soon alhamdulillah.

I had a week break from Kuantan, just before new year starts. I wrapped up my journey of the whole year by visiting my sister in Johor, and start off 2018 with 'mee rebus' I made for my dad. Also doughnut and burger Malaysia making with my sister. The whole week was full of food and cooking, I broke my diet routine though which is not a good sign, really.

My facebook timeline was also flooded with tons of posts attributed to the year of 2017. I haven't got the chance to create one as I said, being home kept me being disconnected with the social media. Well, quality time wins over socmed for me obviously. Rather than listing all those changes I wanted to make or carry forward my previous azam baru, lol I think it is rather to share with you readers on what I've learnt throughout the year. Because living with ibrah is what a Muslim needs to do.

I can't say 2017 was an amazing year. Perhaps, 2014 and 2015 were the year that grows my steel heart. Both years really taught me heaps. 2017 was rather an eye opener and changed my view on life, nikmah, rezqi (sustainance) and also marriage.

1) Life
As most of you guys know, I only have my dad alone now. So since abah is a single father now he usually killing his free time by attending lots of her previous school mate and his so called Sarawak Rangers (his friends when he started his 1st posting as a teacher) reunion. Abah told me his last recent reunion more than 100+ of the alumni passed away and all his conversations with his friends were mostly identifying who is still living the world. My aunties and uncles are now having symptoms on their health and my grandpa is facing sakit tua. He was not like my atok few years back then. He is like a baby who is trapped inside and old man body. It was hard to take care of him but this has made me realized that indeed this life is like a moving wheel. There must a time when we are out of strength and our mind was not at the right place. And at that time, although we are living the angels are not jotting down our good deeds coz we are not able to do anything. I heard lots of death as well at a very young age. It is true then that Allah said in Surah al-asr that time is running out so go and doing good deeds with sabr.

2) Nikmah & Rezqi
Every humans beings has already been set the rezqi by Allah swt. But amazingly Allah swt is Al-Adlu (just) so everything has been proportionate properly. Sometimes people are being blessed with loads of money, but Allah has not grant a happy family for them. Sometimes Allah bless them with a husband/wife but they weren't meant to go travelling together due to some commitment. Some people can go live life freely, they can go travel but they find troubles while looking for spouses. The key to tackles this is to always feels gratitude of what Allah has given us. Eventually you will feel happy of what you have been granted IAllah. And being happy is an important element to live life!

3) Marriage
Marriage is not the ultimate goal in life but it serves as a platform to reach our ultimate goal which is to enter Jannah. Choosing your partner is like choosing your afterlife too. Dude, you're gonna spend like the entire life with someone who will affect your life style. So choose wisely. It is not as simple as choosing somebody you like. My friends got divorce after a month of marriage. I was shook. So many of divorcing issues etc. There is one friend that is currently looking desperately on her life partner and she ended up being sad because the relationship she tried to build failed numerous time. So I told her that she should stop chasing, I mean our spouse has been written for us and Allah would send him at the right time when we are ready. Instead of focusing on finding our mates, it is always better to improve ourselves. There a lot more to discover and learn. Keep on improving the better you. Your relationship with Allah swt and also your Ibadah :) Why keep on focusing your other half of deen when you currently have the other 'half of your deen' that you need to fix and mend?

4) Culture
I went to 2 countries last year. It was Indonesia and China. I am always always inspired with Surah Al-Hujurat verse 13. It says that Allah has created males and females, also nations and tribe so that we know each other. I am so overwhelming with the people I met in both countries. It has made me reflected that humans being are made of three types of soil. And each soil has different characters so do the tribes! I also learnt that Malays are so fragile, courteous and decent. Simply it is from the book I read and also based on the literature like pantun and syair. Gosh thing really relate nicely I am just mesmerized with the fact that Allah has created us in a very interesting ways. And that actually reflected the greatness of Allah swt. It increases my imaan, Really. This kind of tarbiyyah always gives me that kind of groove hehe.

And with that I shall say, 2017 warmly greeted me with such lessons in which I might be facing on the upcoming years. That was the buffer time I guess? I am now welcoming another new brand start, new things to learn, new places to go and also new challenges to face.

Hello 2018,
Please treat me nicely :)

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Monthly Reflection

Assalamualaikum peeps.

I reflect myself quite a lot nowadays. So I decided to write my monthly reflection and share it on my blog.

It is already November! Can't believe time really flew so fast that I can't even catch it up. And in 2 months time I am turning 25 years old. Ya Allah, I feel so old hahaha. Still in denial mood lol. My masters degree progression is not going so well though. I feel so out of the spirit, I do not know why. I lose sparks and I got bored now, lol. I know it is unhealthy but somehow that is how I feel. I started to get back on my pace last week after I worked hard on a program with the school kids. Somehow, Kuantan got so so hot that I ended up catching a fever. So my pace got burned turned into ashes. It got blew, and I could not find them anymore. I am struggling with having them back on track. I keep on delaying reading and studying. I got distracted quite a lot nowadays. Pheww, please someone tell me what I should do. I need someone to talk to perhaps? Someone who claimed he did not read my posts anymore. Yes, someone just like him, who wouldn't tired listening to my stories. He crosses my mind quite several time though. I am wondering how has he been doing. Sekarang musim grad, so did he finish with his degree too?

Anyway, it is not solely graduation season. It is the season of  wedding ceremonies as well. You know life really gets to its another phase when you're getting older. This adulthood though, full of surprises and the world is getting scarier. I didn't feel this way right until I started to worry about my scholarships. money and how to pay my university fees etc. So we had this adulthood talk with my so called postgraduate friend since we both struggle on our experiments and results. Faiqah is planning to get married soon but when her study is still on going, and money turning into issue things get quite hard and she can't help herself being anxious. Well, everyone should including me. So I keep on praying and keep my 'tawakal-mode' on for as I read that tawakal need to come before effort comes, and then you need to keep on tawakal after your effort as well. That is how a Muslim should put on hopes and rely on Allah. So I am still waiting for my scholarship interview. Hopefully I got selected and will perform my interview session well. Hopefully Allah provide me with such Rezqi this time :)

When I was in the middle of my meeting last night, my school friend, Safy sent me a text. She screenshot an invitation of her ex wedding. She got invited through facebook though. So there was a question in which she asked "if it is your ex, would you invite them to your wedding?" So I responded, I was invited by that so-called guy 2 years ago but yeah I declined haha. It was a spontaneous action, my hand did it by itself lol. So Hafsah responded saying that she would. I told them I wanted to do the same, but we aren't friends on facebook anymore. Well maybe I would invite him through a friend just to let him know that "hey I can get married too and that's not you" sorta feeling ekekeke. But that's the thing, there's one particular guy that you can't even treat him like your normal guy friend anymore. Being practically a stranger is the perfect move!

It has been years and years that I left everything to become a better Muslim woman. To preserve myself and fight against my temporary feelings. When I first encounter such feelings, it was so hard that I ended up crying and get back to my feet. I did that over and over again. I was unable to use the things I received because you can't act like everything is fine when indeed you can't get him out of your head. As time heals, I am now proudly say I began to use part of the items I received and brought them along without thinking of the sender. I am glad that the used to be my 'worst moment' it slowly develop into a beautiful and calm life sensation now. 

I freaked out when I 1st lost my black umbrella 3 years ago. And I got so mad when there's stain spot on my white jersey. After a while I didn't use them for quite sometimes except for the blue purse because I don't have any so I keep on using it until now. All of these things I can use them freely without any hard feelings in which I can act normal to the items yeay! Time heals, and people change. I still hope that you are still improving and be a good Muslim day by day. Obviously not for me, but for the ummah and our faith.

Take care!

Saturday, October 14, 2017

My Fave; Triplets & Twins

While the kids in Taska put me in a crazy roller coaster ride, I still love watching kids and how they grow up don't worry lol
I'm writing just to share my fave fave faveeee The Return of Superman family; The Triplets :)

I watch them right after they signed off from this reality show though but still I can't help with their chicky-ness omg so adorable I just cann'tttt. Right now they are my vitamin out of my headache so I love to look up on their videos when I feel like I need a break at times. KBS gathers all of the triplets scenes and they put in episodes. The episodes are now up to 20 episodes. Youtube has it, and they are all English subbed. Thank you so much for this KBS, that's the best thing you do! 

When I first started watching TROS, I stumbled upon the twins first in which they are still on my top list search. I still can't get over their birthday celebration when they surprised each other. It was kind of heart moving that I got my eyes teary a bit haha. Imma a sentimental person, this is normal when I see touching scene like this lol

Okay, back to the triplet. Minguk-kie is my bias. 
And this is my fave video. They had a lesson on manners if I am not mistaken and they learnt it from a traditional teacher. To be honest I don't know weather it is a chinese character they are learning or a typical korean character. My bias-Minguk is so smart and I keep replaying his thumbs up scene to his dad hihi

Watch minguk at 9.47!
So adorablee 

Please watch this, I was moved by the surprises too..

The 1st video of them I watched and eventually they 
are my fave siblings!

I am family oriented  so I love watching them at the 1st place. I have this one wish list too; to adopt a korean and japanese baby and take care of them. Might be out of the blue sangat, haha but I do think the experience must be hilarious =)


Friday, October 13, 2017

Anak-anak Syurga

Assalamualaikum korang.

Apa khabar? 
Harapnya iman dan hati sentiasa dalam keadaan sihat. Harapan aku jugak supaya korang korang sentiasa ada hari yang produktif. I should be productive today but I think maybe not. Rehat gaiss harini. Bagi masa tulis blog sikit hiks. 

Aku nak update entry China lagi sementara aku masih ingat, tapi rasa ada sesuatu yang aku nak share dengan korang in the meantime. Sementara aku masih terasa sisa-sisa emosi aku yang bercampur baur 2 minggu sehingga hari isnin lepas. 

Betul la orang kata, life feels like riding a roller coaster sometimes, and that was me stuck on top of the roller coaster ready to make its next move nervously.

Aku terima satu mesej dari seorang kakak ni untuk bantu dia jaga taska sebab dia ada iv kat Johor. Aku tak free pun masa tu tapi sebab kakak tu sepertinya merayu kat aku, aku pun okaylaaa. Aku pun pernah la baby sit budak. I have no problems. Boleh la nak dodoi2, tukar lampin semua tu I can do that. Tapi selalunya job baby sitting aku ni fokus kat seorang atau dua orang budak la. Tak pernah la lagi membantu kat mana-mana pusat/taska. Memula ingat nak tolong separuh hari, tapi at last appointment aku dengan supervisor aku pun dah bertukar hari, aku willing untuk ganti kakak tu sepenuh hari.

And that was when the roller coaster started to move!

It was a thrilled experience that when I woke up the next day, my muscles were sore. I found it hard to lift my legs, sakit pinggang, lenguh tangan semua ada! hahaha. Fuhhh, baru aku tahu penat jaga budak macam mana. This is diff because I had to take care of 3 kids age ranging from 8 months to 2 years and 5 months. Serius rasa macam jaga triplet. I was sweating like crazy because I moved around so much.

Dari pagi kena mandikan sorang-sorang, kena buat susu dan kena tidurkan baby amsyar yang baru umur beberapa bulan tu. Dan baby amsyar ni la baby yang paling kuat nangis antara semuaaa. Dia nangis without reason wehh haha. Bukan itu sahaja, dia juga baby yang paling senang nak terjaga dari tidur. Nak tidurkan dia tu dah satu kesusahan dah, pastu boleh pulak tidur beberapa minit sebab ada baby lain kacau. Yang si pengacau tu, muka tak rasa bersalah langsung siap gelak gelak lagi heiii. Berlari aku dari dapur sebab nak tenangkan si amsyar tu. Dah kenapa aku mengutuk dorang pulak ni -..-

Aku rasa masa bagi makanan pun ialah masa bersilat juga. Sambil bersila, aku akan angkat pinggan ke atas, sambil suap satu satu nestum ke dorang ni. Dalam sehari purata seorang budak menangis ada la 3-4 kali. kalau dah ada 3 orang budak nak kena pay attention, berapa kali ntah kena tenangkan dorang ni. Kalau kena hadap 3 orang ni je takpe, ada lagi 3 orang baby yang penjaga taska sorang lagi jaga. Dan ada 8 orang budak yang belajar kat taska tu (3-5 tahun). Kalau bergaduh pun ada drama air mata jugak. Satu hari dengar budak nangis memang dahsat. Satu hari terasakan bagaikan sebulan lamanya aku bertahan. Tahap kesabaran pun haruslah level 99. Menghitung masa je aku nak balik masa tu. hahaha

Ini Amsyar sedang ditenangkan selepas menangis teruk sebab aku tinggal dia nak cuci nestum.
Helloo, awak yang buat tumpah nestum tu sebab excited sangat nak makan. 
Lepastu in denial kita tinggal awak kejap sebab nak cuci nestum yang dah tertumpah banyak tu. 
Hailaa sayanggg

So selepas ke kejadian yang thrilling tu, aku punyak respect kat geng mak mak ni memang melangit setinggi langit ketujuh. Tu baru sehari aku dah pening kepala sakit satu badan, belum lagi uruskan hal rumah tangga bagai. So masa tu aku rasa macam aku dah okay I'm done with the taska thing, at least aku bantu kakak tu memudahkan dia nk pergi interview.

Tetiba tak lama kemudian, aku dapat invitation sekali lagi untuk tolong kakak tu lagi. Aku cuba nak lari dan memberi alasan pada mulanya hahahaha, tapi aku memang rasa serba salah sebab aku boleh nak bantu dia since cloning kit was not around yet, so mmg aku off sekejap dari buat kerja lab. Dia nak jumpa supervisor dia untuk settle kan correction thesis dia. So I was like okay this thing is much important too, ce kalau kau mintak tolong orang saat-saat genting nak submit thesis tapi takde orang nak tolong. Haaa cemano? I was putting myself in her shoes so I said yes, but this time I requested for a half day only.

Pagi tu aku bangun dengan perasaan in denial sangattt hahaha. I remember doing things all in slow motion masa tu haha. Nak bersiap rasa malasss ya Allah in the end aku datang lambat kat taska without reason. lol.

Kali kedua datang ni, aku kena ajar budak budak besar pulak dalam kelas. Okay this thing is not easy either. Semua budak masa tu macam nakkan perhatian aku. Semua benda dorang nak cerita weii aku nak ngajar pun susah. Kalau cerita dorang relatable dengan topik yang aku ajar takpe, ni boleh pulak in the middle of naming animal, dia cerita malam semalam ada orang kacau dia tengah tidur -__- hailaaa adik. Aku cam nak marah tapi tahan sebab benda tu diulang-ulang banyak kali haha. One thing I realized, dorang ni suka sangat appreciation and attention. If you asked that so called girl/boy to sit beside you while you are teaching, they seemed so happy. Dorang rasa martabat dorang diangkat barangkali haha, I don't know. After all, they are so innocent and have pure soul. Memang betul budak budak ni kalau kita ajar dan bagitahu masa ni dorang akan ingat dan boleh ikut cakap kita lagi, walau dorang ni tak boleh duduk diam sangat which is normal.

Selepas ajar budak-budak tu tentang binatang, aku suruh dorang melukis.
Tema bebas sebab aku malas nak fikir haha, lagipun aku taknak halang kreativiti dorang.
Ada budak request suruh lukis ikan dengan kucing.
Haaa tu versi teacher kehkehkeh

Second part of the class session was hands on time.
Panjat lah atas meja. Mainlah apa nak main.
Teacher tak larat nak larang dah.

Anak anak syurga =)

Bila aku jaga anak-anak ni, memang terasa yang budak-budak ni mudah dibentuk kalau ada pendidikan yang baik. Sedih sangat sekarang banyak kes yang bukan bukan. Aku tengok budak budak ni dan aku reflect balik masyarakat skrng, tergamak la ada yang melakukan perbuatan sumbang mahram kat budak yang besar-besar cenggini. Sedihnyaaa T.T Memang mengundang marah. Teacher doakan anak anak yang teacher jaga walau 2 hari ni, jadi anak yang soleh dan dilindungi Allah sentiasa. Bila dah satu hari bersama dorang, attachement effect tu still ada, tak tahu la kenapa. Must be because of their purify soul :')