My kind of lullaby these days

I have so much things to tell here.

Loads of them. But I have to hold them for a while.

For now, let's listen to my go to song recently :)

Enjoy the song!

Goodnight :)

Purify

After a while, hati dah kembali stabil. Alhamdulillah.

Terima kasih rabithah. I grew up with this song,  I still can hum the japanese lyrics.

Good cover and the new lyric is mashaAllah so heart soothing.

Terkeluar GGV pun takpe ehe, you already deliver such amazing cover and most importantly the message to all people out there.

#Wansyafiqakembalistabil
#Shebrokedownabit
#donottrigger

Ibrahs I learnt in '17

It's the 3rd page of 365 days book.

I guess, it is not too late to still feel the vibe of 'azam baru' and also 'new year'. It always feel fresh and a brand new start whenever the 1st of January is approaching but this year, I was literally too busy doing chores at home till I can't even list out all those things I wanted to change. Achievements of 2018 has been already outlined in my planner in the beginning of  December last year. I always got the gut of dreaming big, I know. Ticking all of them at the end of the year is another thing to think hehe.

I postponed on updating my blog quite a few times. I drafted 2 posts but haven't finish writing them. Pretty out of mood to be honest, ended up I have nothing to look back at December of 2017 in my blog. As I get older, my online diary is growing too. Turning 11 years old soon alhamdulillah.

I had a week break from Kuantan, just before new year starts. I wrapped up my journey of the whole year by visiting my sister in Johor, and start off 2018 with 'mee rebus' I made for my dad. Also doughnut and burger Malaysia making with my sister. The whole week was full of food and cooking, I broke my diet routine though which is not a good sign, really.

My facebook timeline was also flooded with tons of posts attributed to the year of 2017. I haven't got the chance to create one as I said, being home kept me being disconnected with the social media. Well, quality time wins over socmed for me obviously. Rather than listing all those changes I wanted to make or carry forward my previous azam baru, lol I think it is rather to share with you readers on what I've learnt throughout the year. Because living with ibrah is what a Muslim needs to do.

I can't say 2017 was an amazing year. Perhaps, 2014 and 2015 were the year that grows my steel heart. Both years really taught me heaps. 2017 was rather an eye opener and changed my view on life, nikmah, rezqi (sustainance) and also marriage.

1) Life
As most of you guys know, I only have my dad alone now. So since abah is a single father now he usually killing his free time by attending lots of her previous school mate and his so called Sarawak Rangers (his friends when he started his 1st posting as a teacher) reunion. Abah told me his last recent reunion more than 100+ of the alumni passed away and all his conversations with his friends were mostly identifying who is still living the world. My aunties and uncles are now having symptoms on their health and my grandpa is facing sakit tua. He was not like my atok few years back then. He is like a baby who is trapped inside and old man body. It was hard to take care of him but this has made me realized that indeed this life is like a moving wheel. There must a time when we are out of strength and our mind was not at the right place. And at that time, although we are living the angels are not jotting down our good deeds coz we are not able to do anything. I heard lots of death as well at a very young age. It is true then that Allah said in Surah al-asr that time is running out so go and doing good deeds with sabr.

2) Nikmah & Rezqi
Every humans beings has already been set the rezqi by Allah swt. But amazingly Allah swt is Al-Adlu (just) so everything has been proportionate properly. Sometimes people are being blessed with loads of money, but Allah has not grant a happy family for them. Sometimes Allah bless them with a husband/wife but they weren't meant to go travelling together due to some commitment. Some people can go live life freely, they can go travel but they find troubles while looking for spouses. The key to tackles this is to always feels gratitude of what Allah has given us. Eventually you will feel happy of what you have been granted IAllah. And being happy is an important element to live life!

3) Marriage
Marriage is not the ultimate goal in life but it serves as a platform to reach our ultimate goal which is to enter Jannah. Choosing your partner is like choosing your afterlife too. Dude, you're gonna spend like the entire life with someone who will affect your life style. So choose wisely. It is not as simple as choosing somebody you like. My friends got divorce after a month of marriage. I was shook. So many of divorcing issues etc. There is one friend that is currently looking desperately on her life partner and she ended up being sad because the relationship she tried to build failed numerous time. So I told her that she should stop chasing, I mean our spouse has been written for us and Allah would send him at the right time when we are ready. Instead of focusing on finding our mates, it is always better to improve ourselves. There a lot more to discover and learn. Keep on improving the better you. Your relationship with Allah swt and also your Ibadah :) Why keep on focusing your other half of deen when you currently have the other 'half of your deen' that you need to fix and mend?

4) Culture
I went to 2 countries last year. It was Indonesia and China. I am always always inspired with Surah Al-Hujurat verse 13. It says that Allah has created males and females, also nations and tribe so that we know each other. I am so overwhelming with the people I met in both countries. It has made me reflected that humans being are made of three types of soil. And each soil has different characters so do the tribes! I also learnt that Malays are so fragile, courteous and decent. Simply it is from the book I read and also based on the literature like pantun and syair. Gosh thing really relate nicely I am just mesmerized with the fact that Allah has created us in a very interesting ways. And that actually reflected the greatness of Allah swt. It increases my imaan, Really. This kind of tarbiyyah always gives me that kind of groove hehe.

And with that I shall say, 2017 warmly greeted me with such lessons in which I might be facing on the upcoming years. That was the buffer time I guess? I am now welcoming another new brand start, new things to learn, new places to go and also new challenges to face.

Hello 2018,
Please treat me nicely :)

Monthly Reflection

Assalamualaikum peeps.

I reflect myself quite a lot nowadays. So I decided to write my monthly reflection and share it on my blog.

It is already November! Can't believe time really flew so fast that I can't even catch it up. And in 2 months time I am turning 25 years old. Ya Allah, I feel so old hahaha. Still in denial mood lol. My masters degree progression is not going so well though. I feel so out of the spirit, I do not know why. I lose sparks and I got bored now, lol. I know it is unhealthy but somehow that is how I feel. I started to get back on my pace last week after I worked hard on a program with the school kids. Somehow, Kuantan got so so hot that I ended up catching a fever. So my pace got burned turned into ashes. It got blew, and I could not find them anymore. I am struggling with having them back on track. I keep on delaying reading and studying. I got distracted quite a lot nowadays. Pheww, please someone tell me what I should do. I need someone to talk to perhaps? Someone who claimed he did not read my posts anymore. Yes, someone just like him, who wouldn't tired listening to my stories. He crosses my mind quite several time though. I am wondering how has he been doing. Sekarang musim grad, so did he finish with his degree too?

Anyway, it is not solely graduation season. It is the season of  wedding ceremonies as well. You know life really gets to its another phase when you're getting older. This adulthood though, full of surprises and the world is getting scarier. I didn't feel this way right until I started to worry about my scholarships. money and how to pay my university fees etc. So we had this adulthood talk with my so called postgraduate friend since we both struggle on our experiments and results. Faiqah is planning to get married soon but when her study is still on going, and money turning into issue things get quite hard and she can't help herself being anxious. Well, everyone should including me. So I keep on praying and keep my 'tawakal-mode' on for as I read that tawakal need to come before effort comes, and then you need to keep on tawakal after your effort as well. That is how a Muslim should put on hopes and rely on Allah. So I am still waiting for my scholarship interview. Hopefully I got selected and will perform my interview session well. Hopefully Allah provide me with such Rezqi this time :)

When I was in the middle of my meeting last night, my school friend, Safy sent me a text. She screenshot an invitation of her ex wedding. She got invited through facebook though. So there was a question in which she asked "if it is your ex, would you invite them to your wedding?" So I responded, I was invited by that so-called guy 2 years ago but yeah I declined haha. It was a spontaneous action, my hand did it by itself lol. So Hafsah responded saying that she would. I told them I wanted to do the same, but we aren't friends on facebook anymore. Well maybe I would invite him through a friend just to let him know that "hey I can get married too and that's not you" sorta feeling ekekeke. But that's the thing, there's one particular guy that you can't even treat him like your normal guy friend anymore. Being practically a stranger is the perfect move!

It has been years and years that I left everything to become a better Muslim woman. To preserve myself and fight against my temporary feelings. When I first encounter such feelings, it was so hard that I ended up crying and get back to my feet. I did that over and over again. I was unable to use the things I received because you can't act like everything is fine when indeed you can't get him out of your head. As time heals, I am now proudly say I began to use part of the items I received and brought them along without thinking of the sender. I am glad that the used to be my 'worst moment' it slowly develop into a beautiful and calm life sensation now. 

I freaked out when I 1st lost my black umbrella 3 years ago. And I got so mad when there's stain spot on my white jersey. After a while I didn't use them for quite sometimes except for the blue purse because I don't have any so I keep on using it until now. All of these things I can use them freely without any hard feelings in which I can act normal to the items yeay! Time heals, and people change. I still hope that you are still improving and be a good Muslim day by day. Obviously not for me, but for the ummah and our faith.

Take care!

New Chapter

Assalamualaikum.

It is already past 3 days of the New year eve. To be frank I feel that 2016 was a plain year for me. Nothing outrages or nothing really bugged me like what I had in 2015. Super crazy year! Perhaps I encountered a total mess a year before that I've been blessed with calmness and serenity :) What have I been achieving so far last year? I can't see any actually. Okay lemme look back :

1. Breaking the norm: A forum speaker in intec as an Isma activist. 
2. Solo travelling in Japan for a week.
3. Biggest attempt of my road trip in Malaysia, lol - Driving for a week ; Perak-Terengganu-Johor-Terengganu-Perak
4. Sabah gateaway! Exploring Sabah with my dad
5. Snorkeling experience in Pulau Bidong 
6. Successfully enrolled myself as a Master Student and had defended my proposal!
7. Attended my graduation ceremony in Adelaide, South Australia
8. Swimming and gym (Tak istiqamah! Okay, let's carry forward)
9. Writing 3 articles in the compilation of Australian Seniors Book; Pitstop Down Under

2016 was more to a warming up years of me after settling down in Malaysia and be back for good though I can't completely move on from Adelaide yet hehe. I guess this year is gonna be a lot more challenging for me. It's gonna be a great battle I bet. It's time for my master's time; publishing paper, attending conference and much much more. Please pray for me. Another 1 and a half year to go :D

"A kick start of my 2017. Starting off my 1st week as an 

invited speaker in this pre-departure programme.

So please pray for my fluency. With this I hope I can 

share my experience as much as I could in 

the survival of a woman and muslim"

The Tiny Creatures

I arrived Kuantan this morning. Early morning, at around 3.30am.

It was the end of another hectic week. I was all busy from Monday collecting data, doing my lab works because I received a call from my supervisor telling me that I need to attend a conference in UTM. So it gets quite a little hectic when I had to rush myself packing my stuffs, washed and had my lunch in just an hour. Makan pun rasa macam tak digest je aha. I was expecting that the journey would take around 4 hours and 30 mins to Larkin from Kuantan. Frustratingly, it took around 7 hours to get there. Ya tuhan, banyaknyaa dia berhenti berhenti T.T Boleh pulak dia transit lama kat Segamat. Aaaaa 

Anyway I attended the conference on Thursday, obviously not as a presenter yet hehe. So I had my sister who brought my late mom's car to UTM to pick up and drop me to the conference area. Weirdly, I found myself enjoying listening to most of the talk I went. Well I like it when people talk about the things they do passionately. I really do :') There were lots of area of research covered from Biology to Biomedical Engineering. As I listen to everything I was excited. But later on I feel that the area of research is actually infinity and wide. Everybody was presenting their work progression and all for somehow I feel that human beings are actually just little creatures. Kerdil. Yes, kerdil. Even if we think that our brains can function powerfully, still they are limited to a certain extent. And a human being would never ever able to discover everything in this world! Not even the entire human body!

I stumble across this verse after a while, 

"Dan kunci-kunci semua yang ghaib ada padaNya; tidak ada yang mengetahui selain Dia. Dia mengetahui apa yang berada di darat dan di laut. Tidak ada sehelai daun pun yang gugur yang tidak diketahui oleh Nya. Tidak ada sebutir biji pun dalam kegelapan bumi dan tidak pula sesuatu yang basah atau yang kering, yang tidak tertulis dalam lauh mahfuz" Al-An'am, ayat 59.

We sometimes are proud of who we are. Be it people who obtain bachelors degree, masters, phd or whosoever. After all, you are still bound to the most powerful strength, Al-'Aleem, the all knowing;the Omniscient. Upholding the legacy of seeking knowledge is highly encouraged and recommended. However, Allah command us in Surah Al-Alaq to read in the names of Allah. It's when the more you learn, the more you discover things you ended up to reflecting yourself that there's no one greater than Him. 

I am still overwhelmed after reading the verse. 

Umar Al-Khattab

Hi.

There is someone I knew who was named after a great sahabah. This sahabah is one of the kind in which I always look up to. He's brave, firm and always be the first line defense of the Islamic troop during the war. It was even narrated that the Quraisy (kafir Quraisy;the enemy) would even turned around, never dare to move forward when they were told that Umar is heading towards them. That's how powerful Umar Al-Khattab was.

If I were able to give you this directly, I would had already. I hope that whoever came across this post would benefit from it as well :')

Credit to Indahnya Islam webpage:
9 kelebihan Amirul Mukminin Umar Al-Khattab RA

It would be better if the link image appeared here at least...
Semoga bermanfaat!

You can & you will

MashaAllah dah November daaah.

Lagi 2 bulan umur dah nak 24 tahun. WHAAAT

Age, please stop now. You are making me worried lol.

My busy weekend just ended last week. Dan baru sahaja habis presentation untuk kelas Ethics. Gigih la baca pasal history of misconducts bagai, sampai dah tepu dah kepala ni. My body was literally drained. Aha. Okay I have no idea that organizing a program for school kids is actually beyond my strength hahaha. Though it was not in my bucket list, this could probably be an unlocked achievement! You know sometimes school kids can be out of control but luckily I managed to get their attention. Kudos to all primary school teachers! Now I know how amazing you guys were after being in the situation myself. I mean, sorang dua budak takde hal weh, ni kalau dah 40 orang ni mau flat terus. hahaha. But I actually get excited and did really enjoy myself. My point is, kalau korang nak handle bebudak ni tolong lah fit dan energetic, kalau tak nanti drain segala tenaga walau separuh hari.

Anyway, the exciting part is the program was held as a 'moms & kids' day treat'. Dalam erti kata lain, cara untuk tarik ibu ibu untuk ada kualiti time bersama. Kadang-kadang ibu ibu ni nak datang macam macam program, tapi sebabkan ada kekangan waktu, tak tahu anak nak bagi siapa jaga bagai.. bila ada program macam ni, senang lah sikit kan. Hati pun senang tak payah risau sebab anak anak ada program lain tapi di tempat yang sama :')

Jiwa saintis Wan Syafiqa sebenarnya dah agak terserlah dah masa program ni hewhew. Jadi sebagai ketua program yang berdedikasi, kami diberi mandat untuk buat program 'science backyard'. Soo banyak la experiment yang menarik dan kreatif untuk adik adik ni. Buat volcano eruptions, colour dance dan lava lamp. Memang adik adik tu seronok la, kakak kakak yang handle pun eksited tak habis. Jenuh tau akak sorang ni dok ingat balik silibus sekolah zaman sekolah rendah dulu. Tapi puas sangat rasa bila boleh share dengan adik adik tu how Quran Vs. Science works.

Penciptaan Manusia 

Kemudian air mani itu Kami jadikan segumpal darah, lalu segumpal darah itu Kami jadikan segumpal daging, dan segumpal daging itu Kami jadikan tulang belulang, lalu tulang belulang itu Kami bungkus dengan daging. Kemudian Kami jadikan dia makhluk yang (berbentuk) lain. Maka Maha sucilah Allah, Pencipta Yang Paling Baik.(Surah Al-mukminun, ayat 14)

Galaksi 

"Dan Dialah yang telah menciptakan malam dan siang, matahari dan bukan. Masing-masing dari keduanya itu beredar dalam garis edarnya" (Surah Al-Anbiya' ayat 30)

Kejadian Hujan 

“Allah, Dialah yang mengirim angin, lalu angin itu menggerakkan awan dan Allah membentangkannya di langit menurut yang dikehendaki-Nya, dan menjadikannya bergumpal-gumpal; lalu kamu lihat hujan keluar dari celah-celahnya, maka apabila hujan itu turun mengenai hamba-hamba-Nya yang dikehendaki-Nya, tiba-tiba mereka menjadi gembira,” ( Surah Ar-Ruum ayat 48)

For the first time I feel like a story teller. Habis kena kerumun sambil dengar cerita. Dah rasa macam cikgu tadika dah. Seronok rupanya bila dapat peluang kaitkan apa yang kita belajar dengan Quran :') Seronok bila dapat kongsi ilmu dengan adik adik. Discovering science theory is like another way to discover His Mercy. Selalu sangat rasa terharu dengan kebesaran Dia. Quran has mentioned all these before scientist found it kan. Tugas researchers ni sebenarnya hanya prove teori yang dalam Quran. First time rasa amazed bila pergi talk Dr. Daniel pasal Quran & Science dulu. Peeps, seeking of knowledge is something that everyone should do I tell ya gaiss. You know that 800 centuries ago, when scientific approach was established during islamic empire? When there is too many doctors that they need to undergo for some elections as well tons of books were produced masa zaman tu? Each and everytime I watched the video and I read about how massive and great islamic empire was, I tend to have this mix feelings. I think I have this spirit to uphold the legacy of seeking knowledge like what the previous muslim scholars did so that at least I contribute something as an image of a muslimah. At the same time, I feel so sad looking at the circumstances of our ummah today. Too much keyboard warriors, too much complains without doing anything and too much thinking about the world when we have the ultimate life which in the hereafter. 

Dan setiap kali program, mulalah sesi muhasabah diri aku -.-

Semoga dapat mengubah dunia. An yeah well, you can and you will iAllah. 

To all my dear younger brothers and sisters, 

That was the best I can do for you. I will come again with some better ideas to spread the beauty of islam and science as well in order for you to keep close to Allah and get a clear picture that science and Quran has not boundaries. I will use all that I have to keep this world a better place. To this ummah, for you and for Islam :)

Untuk rakan yang sama sama berjuang, "Dunia bukan tempat berehat. Rehat lah bila di Syurga nanti" (Ahmad Ammar, Tarbiyyah selepas kematian). I am so inspired with this. 

Sincerely, 

Bakal Saintis Ummah

Bermanfaat untuk orang lain

"Tidak ada balasan untuk kebaikan melainkan kebaikan"
Ar Rahman, ayat 60.

Pretty much, that explains the reason behind volunteerism of mine.

Cukuplah kita tengok ada pakcik makcik kat pasar malam duduk tepi jalan minta sedekah. Sejujurnya hati ni cepat je tersentuh bila tengok masih ada orang yang macam ni. Kena pulak kalau ada yang dalam keadaan kaki patah, buta dan macam macam lagi jual tisu kat tepi jalan. Kalau tisu RM2 tu, memang akan berhenti untuk beli. Kadang kadang bila tengok orang niaga takde orang beli, berhenti jugak untuk beli sebab ada niat nak support business dia. Kadang kadang rasa diri ni selesa sangat, orang lain sibuk jual macam2 dalam keadaan panas matahari terik, siap berpeluh peluh lagi. Masih tak reti reti nak bersyukur ke Wan Syafiqa -..-

Okaylah tu mungkin dalam skop yang simple dan tu juga cara yang paling boleh kita tolong. What I'm trying to say is that semua orang pun kena ada rasa yang sama. Sensitiviti untuk sentiasa bantu membantu. Tak kisah la korang nak tolong macam mana, kalau rasa orang yang minta sedekah tu scam dan taknak bagi ke, it's okay you have other better ways to contribute. Just, choose to contribute.

Setiap kali pergi memana, mesti aku akan train diri sendiri untuk tolong orang semampu yang mungkin. Kalau orang mintak tolong pun, buatlah the best dan bersungguh sungguh sebab Allah kata, dia akan memudahkan urusan kita, kalau kita mudahkan urusan orang lain sebab setiap kebaikan itu dibalas kebaikan :')

Kalau dalam pasca yang lebih besar lagi, bantulah mengikut potensi yang ada pada diri masing masing. In any ways you can do. If you have tons of money, boleh je sumbang kat mana badan badan kebajikan, Kalau awak doktor, boleh je join mana mana misi kemanusiaan untuk bantu saudara kita seislam. Kalu awak seorang guru, teacher ke or has the ability to teach ke, boleh bantu mengajar kat mana mana kem pelarian, or any needy people out there. These are the ideas I have. I know these things sounds big, tapi untuk jadi umat yang hebat, jiwa pun kena besar :) Though sometimes, it needs lots of sacrifice, your times bagai tapi setiap kali habis volunteering mesti rasa puas. I still have long way to go. Mungkin jauh lagi untuk join misi misi yang hebat sampai ke gaza dan syria tapi dari awal kita dah boleh persiapkan diri dan mental. It's okay to dream big especially when it benefits the ummah.

Cuba cari kakak manis. Jumpa tak? kahkah

I-medik team IIUM. 

Pemerkasaan Sukarelawan

Semoga bermanfaat untuk ummah

This is just the beginning.

You have much more to go Syafiqa.

Future Tsukasa

I would try my best not to make this post look like an advertisement.

Hawa was the first muslimah that Allah created for Adam. They are created so that they may be drawn for each other and find tranquility together. Allah created everything in pairs [78;8], meaning everyone is reserved for another soul to compliment each other. 

Looking for a spouse is a very crucial part for everyone I reckon. I believe that each and everyone of us wanting somebody who will be the savior of your day, soleh/solehah well a good man and woman generally speaking. However Prophet Muhammad stated the best guidelines in finding your Qurratu'l-Ayn; 

"A person chooses her/his life partner due to four reasons; 1.Rank 2.Money 3.Beauty 4.Taqwa (virtue). One should choose the best in Taqwa." [Sahih Hadeeth]

Regardless of his looks and wealth, I am looking for someone who's heart is attached to Him. I may not be perfect uhm everybody is not to begin with, but choosing someone who is at least, pray 5 times a day, worshiping Allah more than anything, knowing the purpose of life and building a family for the sake of Him. I believe that a man who take Islam as Ad-Deen or the way of life would lead my soon to be family into rahmah :) But mind you, Allah said a good woman is for a good man. Nevertheless, I am still struggling to be a better muslimah day by day. I still have a lot to improve and I hope that when the time has come, I am all set physically, mentally and spiritually. 

Considering the fact that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him, I am still particular and have my own preferences when it comes to man, haha. 

• He must not be a smoker - Smoking is considered as haram. 
• I prefer someone who is tall - I am literally short, so those hard to reach items on the top shelfs are easily accessible lol
• He must be good at managing money - I need someone who can look after our family financial and economy. I am not good at it
• He must be good at handling my dad - I have Abah alone now. So I wanted someone who can be friend with my dad. Entertain him and follow him to masjid for Jemaah prayer :)
• He must be good at using tools - I am personally so bad at this. Please save our home from disaster soon
• Outspoken and confident - No reasons. It just that I'm easily attracted with this trait. 
• He must be neat - Hair especially. Barulah sedap mata memandang.
• He must be matured and reliable - I can be clingy at times

MashaAllah so picky kan. hahaha

After all, I believe that Allah will send me the one that suits me well. He will give the one that I am mostly needed, not practically someone whom I am asking for. I just have to wait patiently and prepare myself for our future.

So to my future spouse, 

I hope we can build a family with Ad-Deen soon. And also, despite the economic demands I will adore your knowledge more than your money. So please don't feel pressure about it lol 

See you when I see you :)

Can't sleep. Rindu

It's literally 1.20am but I'm still awake.

Why?

Tak tak, bukan sebab sedih ke heart broken sampai tak boleh tidur eceh haha tapi sebab dah tidur sepanjang hari since baru pagi ni je sampai kuantan dari ipoh. Minggu ni balik Kuale wei. hehehe. Pergh, rosak plan aku yang nak masuk lab. Konon dah dapat tidur dalam bus pastu nak pergi kuliyyah terus akhirnya kecundang di atas katil.

I think I have a very productive weekend kat rumah. Most of my checklist semua settle dan yang paling best I have my kitchen back! So #mysiblinggoals was to make dakjjim (braised chicken with vege) & japchae(glass noodles and stir fried vege). Ni korean food lah tapi. Initial plan nk buat bibimbap tapi masa nk purchase gochujang tu dia ada rice wine pulak for preservative i guess. Dan bila balik rumahhari tu, cream cheese dengan peanut butter still ada yang beli masa buat kuih duluu sebab adik buat tak tahu je dengan bahan2 yang ada tu -.-' So yeah, here it goes my random peanut butter cheesecake lol. Nanti kalau ada masa aku upload recipe k. Kemain hahaha. Tengok video maangchi tu je pungg berguru dalam youtube tu hah. Tapi video maangchi tu sangatlah addictive yang aku boleh revise banyak kali tgk video yang sama tu yang aku tak paham -___- Mungkin sebab english dia cute sangat kottt

Aku mengadu dan craving macam macam kan, hehe. Nak masak itu ini semua dan akhirnya berjaya. Siap tepon abah lagi beforehand suruh beli ikan sebab I'm a fish & seafood lover. Abah kata dia beli ikan udang sotong ketam semua tu dah dekat seratus haha tapi ennn, habis semua aku masak kot. Siap bawak balik uia lagi, jadi harini makan bekal masak sendiri je. Actually setiap kali aku bawak bekal masak sendiri nak balik kampus ke apa ke, mesti aku terkilan dan teringat mak sebab she used to pack lunchbox to us. Aku ingat lagi bekal terakhir yang mak masak untuk aku dulu, bawal masak sambal dengan sayur lemak kuning. Ni mak bekalkan kat aku sebelum balik 2nd year duluu. Makan sebelum nak naik flight :(

Anyway, opah admitted this week. Please pray for her health. She is after my mom and dad. I was glad that I went back at the moment when I was needed. Initial plan nak balik sebab nak settle banyak benda pergi bank bagai buat visa lagi dan...another bestfriend bertunang. Tapi cantik juga Allah susun, takde program tarbiyah minggu ni so boleh lah balik kampung. Patut rasa macam nak balik je dan alhamdulillah, opah dah dapat keluar hospital dan aku sangat bersyukur. Aku sangat respect dengan wancik & pakcik yang sentiasa ada untuk jaga pah. Wancik hari hari hantar lauk kat pah dan jenguk tok dengan pah yang dah tak banyak daya. Memang penat jaga orang sakit, been there tapi percayalah wancik & pakcik, syurga buat anak soleh. MashaAllah besarnya sangatt pahala tu :) Masa borak borak dengan pah, pah banyak kali cakap pah dah rasa macam mak dulu. Dah takde kudrat. Nak bangun jalan semua pun dah tak larat. Hati rasa sayu sangat T.T sebab teringat masa masa mak tengah bertarung nyawa. Rindu usah cerita la. Walaupun dah dekat 2 tahun mak takde, banyak sangat benda rasa nak bagi tahu mak. Iqa dah sambung master, iqa dah dapat tarikh grad, so abah, kak yang dengan adik akan pergi Adelaide sekali. Tapi lagi best kalau mak ada :(

Mak, I hope you're proud of me.
And I have abah alone now.
I want to be a pious daughter for both of you
because I think that's the biggest effort I can make to show my deepest love for you
I love you mak & abah. Lillahitaala.

A girl who wanted to live & travel

Hi peeps!

Yes, I do travel a lot. Disclaimer-studied in Australia has nothing to do with this haha

I have this big heart who appreciate diversity and discover things around me so much. In other words, I love experiencing new things and I am more than happy to learn new things!

So I have this sort of thoughts that I don't just wanna come there, I wanna live there instead! This thought really triggers my desires on going to new places. Pursuing master, phd or even working in overseas maybe? Because every time you're dealing with people you'll learn about them. Therefore, travel and vacation has different meaning at least for me. I noticed that people who travel also has different soft skills quality. They are better at solving problems, optimist, and very independent.

I also read lots of articles regarding people who travels around the world. Well, no doubts. They tempted me enough. For as much as I can see, they are enjoying life and had a real fun; taking photos happily and publish it in social media and not to forget sharing tips of how budget your vacation is. No, I'm not trying to stop the fun here haha, it just that whenever you're travelling, there is always something big beyond it. It is something for you to ponder upon.

This desire of mine is written in the Quran too! :')

"O men! Behold, We have created you all out of a male and a female, 15  and have made you into nations and tribes, so that you might come to know one another. 16  Verily, the noblest of you in the sight of God is the one who is most deeply conscious of Him. Behold, God is all-knowing, all-aware"

Al-Hujurat, verse 13.

Allah said that the diversity he made is for you know each other, for everyone is all the same for Him despite of what race you are and how different is your skin colors. One thing that differ everyone is the most righteous/the one who has taqwa among you. When I was in Adelaide, a sister always remind me of seeing things not just by the gaze in your eyes, but please see things along with your heart. Because whenever you do that, you'll start thinking on how powerful the creations are! How wonderful that Allah made people with various ethnics, customs and cultures. And those difference are something to be honored. How amazing that different regions in the world posses different geographical changes as well as its weather! Trees I've seen in Adelaide is always different from Malaysia too. I still remember there was one type of this very very huge tree that I called it a reptile tree? Since it has such pale skin and at times it looks like it changes its skin just like a snake does. It makes me scared for several times hahaha.

Indeed, He is Al-Khaliq, Al-Bari, Al-Musawwir.

Because whenever I travel, I ended meeting Him.

Ramadhan Kareem

Assalamualaikum & Ramadhan Mubarak everyone!

Today marks the 18th days of Ramadhan. Time really passed by so quickly! In two days time, Ramadhan would be reaching its last 10 days. Surely no one gonna miss the last 10 days as Laylatul Qadr would fall within it. Allah promises great rewards to us. May everyone who is currently reading, would be grated the ni'mah of Laylatul Qadr. Whenever this holy month come, the spirit is undoubtedly unusual. Recalling my last halaqah session, this holy month is said to be barakah because it is the time when you can finish your 30 juzuk of Quran easily. Whatever ibadah you commit would be receiving great great rewards and at this time Allah heard your prayers the most. MashaAllah, I'm so in love with this month!

Few years back then, when I heard people said they would feel very sad when Ramadhan leaves, I couldn't understand why. When tarbiyyah approaches me I finally found the sole reason why fasting is compulsory for Muslims. Muslims need to fast to seek Taqwa. Do you know what Taqwa is? It is when your heart is being purified & all you want is just to obey and follow your Lord's command. After all, taqwa is like a requirement to be a good Muslim because it serves the purpose of your existence at the first place; [2;30] and [51;56]. Therefore, this 30 days is sort of like a training for the Muslims. It is the training of the heart. During this time, as it is known of its heavenly barakah month, Allah eases everything for you. The act of practicing ibadah seems easy and on track because there is no syaitonirojim around you haha

Out of the things I mentioned above, the most important part is it is the month of forgiveness. So never tired of doing taubah and asking for forgiveness, Remember, this is the time when Allah heard you the most? :') We, the human beings are always committing sins. I sincerely hope that all ibadah we did during Ramadhan will continuously grow and the process of seeking Taqwa does not stop after Ramadhan. Once it really leaves us, I hope that Allah accepted our act of worshiping Him.

When I look at people around me, I feel like somehow the purpose of fasting is diverted. Honestly, I am very shocked to know that some celebrities has already prepared hundreds of baju raya? I am still very shocked up till now even though I came across the news last week. It is unbelievably irrelevant lol. Well, I have no problems on preparing it in advance hence we can focus more in this month. But, Islam encourages us to be modest and the purpose of fasting is not celebrating Eid. Fret not, I was one of the kind too. When I wasn't reminded of why and how all this while, I was thinking of hari raya too. What's more fun than Eid? Lots of food and you have the chance to meet all your relatives updating your life and gossiping as well. A big eater like me would found fasting is quite troublesome because I can't always enjoy foods like I use to yet it makes you feel weak. Well in fact, most of the wars, the opening of Spain etc happened during Ramadhan! Fasting should make you productive, less stuffs for you to think I guess. hehe

Anyway, again to build a good ummah & nation (I went back to Kuala Kangsar for PRK kecil, dan saya menyokong calon muslim berwibawa. hehe), I seriously think that we should live with full Islamic-basis. Islam has given us guidelines to follow. Please don't be just a muslim by name, we should be a practicing muslim instead!

People asked me, what makes my Ramadhan so special this year?

After 3 years of finding its true meaning, I am here celebrating Ramdhan in Malaysia! hoyeah.
I had the chance of breaking my fast with my whole big family though I know mom is not here.

I am immersed with Ramadhan even more. 

Salam Layltul Qadr!

Reflection

2 3 hari sebelum Ramadhan penuh juga la newsfeed dengan post budak budak yang tak balik kampung lagi meratapi tak balik kampung kena berbuka dengan kawan kawan yang kat kolej sebab Ramadhan jatuh pada hari dorang periksa. Kesiannya. Hihi.

Belum tengok yang kat oversea tu lagi. Sayu lagi weh.  Nasib baik aku dah practise 3 tahun dulu siap siap, sado dah la sikit hati ni sebab pi berbuka puasa kat mesjid Ramadhan pertama,  makanan dah licin kau. Kemain eksited sebab dapat puasa Ramadhan pertama kat sini. Sekali habis. Ter-syahdu pula malam tu, tapi tetap bersyukur sebab kat Malaysia je yang boleh rileks lalalala sampai tengah malam pun boleh dapat makanan lagi.

Anyway, Sekarang dah Ramadhan kelima. Cepat je masa berlalu kan? :')

Dan pada Ramadhan yang kedua, aku terima lagi satu berita kematian cikgu Kimia sekolah sains dulu. Serius, aku sangat terkedu dengan berita tu. Cikgu aku ni sangat muda, baru umur 31 tahun. Dia baru je berkahwin 3 ke 4 tahun lepas, dan sekarang ada anak kecil. Umur dalam 2 tahun kot, memang comel gila lah anak dia. Pernah la jugak dok stalk cikgu aku tu sebab nak tengok anak dia je. huhu. Aku lega sikit bila dapat tahu yang wife dia cikgu jugak. Kalau kes kes macam ni dan wife tak kerja, benda tu buat aku lagi sayu kot. Hilang mata pencarian ingat senang ke nak cope? T.T Emotionally unstable lagi. Ya, aku pun pernah merasai kehilangan.

Cikgu aku ni berbadan agak besar, dan dikhabarkan yang dia ada diabetes. Kalau orang nak diagnose dia melalui size badan mesti akan agak sudden cardiac death ke, or heart attack. Tapi rupanya dia meninggal dunia sebab ada jangkitan kuman kat otak. Sebelum tu dia memang dah demam lama dah, dan katanya ada bisul kat kepala. Tak lama lepas boleh discharge dari hospital, dia dijemput untuk menemui pencipta.

Nampak tak ajal tu perkara yang pasti? Ajal tu tak mengira umur? Dan ajal tu rahsia Allah? Kita mungkin fikir yang kalau kita ada penyakit penyakit tertentu kita pasti akan meninggal disebabkan penyakit ni. Tapi hakikatnya Allah lebih mengetahui, sebab tu Allah suruh kita sentiasa usaha. Ikhtiar selagi boleh dan tawakal/kebergantungan kita kat Allah tu melebihi segalanya.

Pernah dengar tak hadis tentang husnuzon kita kat Allah?

Dari Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi dan Ibn Majah, diriwayatkan oleh Abu Hurairah r.a: Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: “Allah s.w.t berfirman: Aku adalah berdasarkan kepada sangkaan hambaKu terhadapKu. Aku bersamanya ketika dia mengingatiKu. Apabila dia mengingatiKu dalam dirinya, nescaya aku juga akan mengingatinya dalam diriKu. Apabila dia mengingatiKu di majlis, nescaya Aku juga akan mengingatinya di dalam suatu majlis yang lebih baik daripada mereka. Apabila dia mendekatiKu dalam jarak sejengkal, nescaya Aku akan mendekatinya dengan jarak sehasta. Apabila dia mendekatiKu sehasta, nescaya Aku akan mendekatinya dengan jarak sedepa. Apabila dia datang kepadaKu dalam keadaan berjalan seperti biasa, nescaya Aku akan datang kepadanya seperti berlari-lari kecil.”

Setiap kali aku baca hadis ni, mesti hati aku jadi hati tisu. Entah kenapa rasa macam Allah sayang sangat kat kita. Kau bayang la, kita dekatkan diri kita sikit je, Allah dah berlari lari kat kita. Tinggi lagi kita berharap kat dia, lagi tinggi dan lagi suka dia nak dengar ritihan dan doa kita tu. Hei, apasal sweet sangat ni? T.T

Hadis ni berbicara tentang apa yang kita sangka dengan Allah. Jadi macam mana keyakinan dan percaya kita dengan takdir, nikmat dan rezeki yg bakal kita terima, begitulah yang kita dapat. Macam mana pula nak dapat keyakinan yang mantap ni? Mestilah dengan iman yang kuat! 

Okay, pernah tak rasa tetiba kita macam persoalkan, "betul ke ni Allah nak bagi?Ye ke?" Hilang dah yakin kat situ. 

Haaa. Cuba tengok balik sejauh mana kita mengingati Dia? 

Orang yang beriman ni semakin tinggi harapan dia, semakin tinggi juga pergantungan dia kat Allah. Jadi, kalau Allah takdirkan sesuatu bukan seperti yang diharapkan, Dia masih boleh mampu tersenyum dan redha dengan ketentuan Allah sebab setiap perkara yang Allah rancang itulah yang terbaik untuk dia. Pasti akan ada hikmah. Setiap apa yang kita minta, mesti Allah timbang-tara kan. kerana Dia maha tahu, dan nakkan yang terbaik untuk hambaNya. Sayangnya Dia kat kitaaa :')

Jadi akhi ukhti, 

ikhwah akhwat, 

saudara saudari..

Ramadhan ni masa yang terbaik untuk kita perbaiki hubungan kita dengan Dia. Wallahi, roh Ramadhan ni bukan main refreshing ya. Ni antara kita dengan nafsu je ni. Istimewanya Ramadhan ni, Allah bagi keberkatan masa. Dan nak buat amal ibadah pun terasa senang je. 

Yang masih berada di tanah suci mekah, saya doakan agar awak dapat mengekalkan momentum ibadah dah meningkatkan cintamu terhadap Illahi. Itu tanah para anbiya', bukan semua orang Allah jemput untuk menjadi tetamu Dia.

Sungguh saya juga rindu untuk kembali ke masjidil haram.

Sekiranya perkara itu berlaku, mungkin saya akan menangis kerinduan mengenangkan kenangan bersama arwah mak. 

Setiap inci saya bersama mak, senyuman mak gembira melihat kaabah, bersama mak ke setiap pejuru tempat mustajab berdoa dan melihat kesungguhan mak berdoa begitu meruntunkan jiwa. 

Allah, kurniakan dia Syurgamu. Tempatkan dia bersama orang-orang beriman. Jauhkan dia dari azab kubur dan azab api neraka. 

Al-Fatihah

A Real Man

Assalamualaikum

Buat pembaca diluar sana, ketahuilah apabila kita nakkan sesuatu daripada orang yang dah jarang dan dah lama tak bertegur sapa, moleklah jikalau kita mulakan dengan bertanya khabar, sembang2 dulu tanya buat apa sekarang ke. Cipta suasana yang kita dah selesa dulu, barulah beritahu hajat mu itu.

Baru baru ini aku terima text dari abang saudara aku. Ya, dah lama tak bertegur sapa. Sejak aku masuk asrama masa form 4, lepastu fly oz dan sampai sekarang boleh kira kot berapa kali jumpa. Okaylah aku tak kisah sangat sebab family kan. Aku memula reply lah text dia even dah dekat dekat nk maghrib dah waktu. Dan aku baru ajer balas whatsapp bertanya khabar dia tu. Aku start annoying bila dia dok pm pm kata aku lambat reply. Der...maghrib kot.

Tetiba out of nowhere, dia mintak aku rekemen kawan comel. Aku yang naive ni ingat itu ialah satu metadologi untuk mencipta suasana selesa sebab dah lama kan tak tegur tegur ni. -__- 

Guess that I was wrong, malam tu dia call aku sebab mintak aku carikan orang. Aku tanya, nak kawin ke? Dia hesitate dan cakap nak kawan je dulu dan asyik ulang ulang nak perempuan yang cantik, putih gebu, baik hati etc. Erk, muntah hijau aku.

Sorry to say brother, tapi it gives me bad impression about you. Aku nampak seorang lelaki yang gatal dan miang je ni. 

Dan perkara tersebut buat aku sangat marah dan annoyed. Panas hati gua beb.

Buat kaum Adam di luar sana, 

Ketahuilah tanggungjawab mu sangat besar. Tak boleh lari dari tanggungjawab terhadap keluarga dan ibu bapa. Usah dikejar benda yang belum pasti jika kita ada tanggungjawab yang hakiki. Don't ever think you can mess up with anyone before marriage. Jodoh dan pertemuan itu hadiah Allah, rahsia Dia. Marriage is a big word and it comes with responsibilities. A huge responsibilities. Nabi sendiri dah bagi kita guidelines untuk cari pasangan yang terbaik, tengok keturunan, harta, kecantikan dan agama. Namun perkahwinan yang terbaik ialah perkahwinan yang didasari oleh agama. Tapi ingatlah juga, Allah menyeru kita dalam Quran dalam surah An-Nisa, "lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik". Jadi macam mana nak dapat pasangan yang baik ni? Kita kena jadi baik dulu lah! Sebab tu kita kena dalami ilmu agama. Question ourself back, dah cukupkan solat 5 waktu kita? Dah terlaksanakah tugas kita sebagai seorang anak? Cukupkan kita dengan ilmu agama kita? Ilmu rumah tangga? Wahai lelaki, saya sangat kagum tengok kesungguhan kamu mencari duit. Ya, rata rata lelaki yang saya jumpa mesti dah siap planning duit ni untuk apa, untuk kawin etc. bagus sangat tapi ketahuilah perkara yang lebih boleh membahagiakan. Ilmu agama brother. Serious talk. Be a man who takes all those responsibilities by all mean! Perkahwinan ini bukan main main. Bukan kawin dapat anak, pastu dah. Tak tahu apa tujuan. Wallahi brother, it is faaar beyond that.

Aku sebenarnya geram dengan lelaki yang nak kawin, tapi takde effort. Paling aku tak boleh terima definisi perkahwinan yang kawin, dapat anak. Dah. Cubalah ada agenda besar sikit untuk keluarga yang kita bina. Ya tuhan, semoga aku dikurniakan zauj yang soleh.