Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The harder I try, the harder I FALL.

Dear Mr A,

The moment I received your text yesterday, you really screwed up my mood. I was watching movies when I realized that my phone was vibrating. I don't know how to inter prate my feelings lately. I think that I am getting over you. I think I did that but NOT after receiving your text yesterday. It's killing me. Yeah, it does. I wasn't sleepy at that time. I'm sorry. I lied. It just that I really can't resist any conversation with you right now. I can't talk to you anymore. Please believe me when I say it's not that I don't want to, it's just that everything I want to say I can't tell you anymore.You said that this decision made is good for both side. It's a wise decision for me, but it isn't a good one at my side. Frankly, who ever said that forgetting you is easy? I guess that's only easy for you. But not for me. I couldn't deny saying that I'm still thinking about you everyday. Recalling of what you did and said everyday. It's even hard to admit that we are now friends. I've decided that I don't wanna be anyone for you. Neither a friend, nor somebody. If you wanna see me having a totally forgetting you and deleting you in my life, please don't ever contacting me. Sometimes, i wonder. Am I mad at you? That's your main concern after shattering my whole world? Mad for what? Breaking my heart? Or for all the lies? Maybe for letting me put all my trust in you only to be betrayed? How about the fact you didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face? Or the way you think it's crazy that I'm crying over it cause to you breaking up is no big deal. Am I mad at you?... no. More like crushed... did I ever really know you? I need to trash you, or otherwise I'm not going to taste happiness in my life. I'm sick of boys. You have disappointed me twice, and I hope there won't be thrice.

I am none like you who tend to have this feelings which is easily fade away. Mine is not weak as yours, mine is more powerful than you ever imagine. Mine is stronger and it takes time to vanish it. I'm sorry. I can't handle this. I'm trying but it doesn't work now. Maybe later. Promise ya I'll fight for this feeling. I'll get over you soon. I will.

I know I'm not completely over him. He still crosses my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also passes through my heart. Maybe if this happens enough, my heart will become completely hardened to him, and I'll get to the point where he doesn't affect me anymore
HE the almighty, has set up my destiny,
all i've got to do is praying for my best,
" closer me to him if he is my soul mate,
and if he doesn't, please let this feeling go away,
without letting me hurt no more "

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Somebody whom I love n RESPECT.

My today's post is specially dedicated to..

My super duper Captain's house. :)
Muhammad Hafiz Aliazizi b. Mohd Tawfid

My 1st sight on u ;
Time tuhh kita kt dewan. Cikgu suh budak2 kelas Silver bangun. Suh kita tgk kwn2 satu kelas. Dah usya dak perempuan, I turned to boys, I saw you.
" wahh, ada dak good looking dalam kelas aku, ohh.. dia bendahara jgak rupanya. "
notes : dlu nama rumah bukan phoenix lg. hanya BENDAHARA. hehe

My 1st impression ;
arif dak kelantan suh msing2 perkenalkn diri. haha. igt lg bdk tue. kelakar btol.
Suddenly, kau dilantik as :
n aku plak :
haiyoo.. aku dah la dr skola semua perempuan. nk deal ngn boys ni agk mnjd masalah aku. huhu. xp xpe. slow2 saja. huhu

My 2nd thought ;
Tyme tuh kt dining hall. Kte tgh deal satu MKT untuk hari guru. ohh, sungguh menyiksakan. Kau pnggil aku nk bincang psl keceriaan kelas. aku suh ko lukis kt atas note pad aku. Tgn ko berketar2 kot. haha. klakar. Aku suh ko relax. pastu ko gelak. Cute. hahaha

Getting Closer ;
Ada satu masa tue aku igt lg. Ko panggil aku " wan.. ohh.. wan " erkk, meremang aku sbb suare ko tyme tuh agk lmbut. 1st tyme kot dak laki pnggil aku cmtue. almaklumlah, dlu ane pernah dgr suare budak laki dlm kelas. hahaha. n.. last year tyme tuhh. Ko penah janji nk nyanyi kt aku. So, there's one night after exam, ko nyanyi kt aku. tyme tu fahmi ad sekali. lagu I drive myself crazy.
".... I drive myself crazy wanting u the way that i do.. " wahh, sedap ouhh suare. huhu

On the next year ;
Last year ko da mmg jdi house captain da. and this year, I am again choosen to be your deputy. Haihh, bekerja dgn ko lg. Aku igt g tyme kte smea same2 memerah otak untuk lagu rumah, lagu sorak, motto, logo.. Ko present tyme tuhh mcm nk menari. Nervous punya psl. haha. Tp nsib bek skrng ko da ok. Relaks je ckp kt depan. wahh, way to go ! :)

Sports day ;
Tyme tuhh aku sgt berbangga dgn pencapaian rumah kte. 16 golds! perghh.. And tyme aku tgk ko lari. perghh, ko berusaha btol. Terharu aku. Sorry la. I'm not good at sports. Major aku debates aje lahh, Pidato ke.. Chess ke. Tue baru lahh aku Boleh. Huhu. nk uat cmne. Aku menang chess ngn Bakhtiar and Pidot tau. heh. ^^ Act, aku boleh je lari pecut.. tp malu. xbese lari depan laki. Seriously. x tipoo.. =.=' Penat jgak lahh mlm tue kteorg tido pkul 4 kot nk siapkn smea props2 utk phoenix utk perbarisan. Blik2 skola je tyme tuehh, aku tdo cm gler. haha. Smppy maghrib pon aku xg surau. hoho

Tyme kt KESUMA, tidak kusangka. Kte satu rumah. n.. satu kamar plak uhh. aiyyaa.. Muka ko lg?? haha. Risau kot aku tgk ko xleh adapt ngn bdk2 kamar len. xpe at least ko ad aku. hehe. Ngn pompuan pon ko ssh nk ckp. Smpy name Zaza yg dak STF yg jd pair ko tue pon ko lpe. Bape kali tanye aku.. adeyh. haha. Wehh, kt KESUMA ramai kott bdk yg minat ko. Pas dorg tau ko boss aku smea malu. hak3. xpe. Aku simpan rahsia dorg. keh2.

Board Rumah ;
Tu diaa, abah sampai jumpa PKR tyme uhh ckp sal nie. Dy kata kalo jumpa captain cm xjln je. Kene berleter plak ngn abah. Kteorg dgr jea. Pastu Nuha, Syikin da bengang2 ngn Kr msing2. Kteorg jumpa korg dpn aspura. Sampai afif kate " da ready nk kene berleter da ni.. " haha. sorry la. aku byk berleter kt ko. Ko dgr jea. Nasib bek xmrh. huhu. Thanks. ^^

High Table ;
Tyme tuhh agak bercelaru. Tp xpe, on the surface it looks good. Xpe. Mlm tue aku enjoy gak la. Lepas ko suap aku kek uhh, gosip berleluasa smpy sekarang. Adik2, kami xde apa2 ok. Sekadar kwn biasa. :) trimas yaa, saayaangg dak2 phoenix. Thanks for the frame. ^^

dear ezz,
it was nice to know you. i put so much efforts to let the house face the victory. and i know you did it too. well, pardon me if i've done mistakes and somehow my words might hurts you. I have no intention ok ? I'll treausure the moments we shared in bringing the house on top. ;) Meeting you, knowing you, teasing you, looking at you blushing, talking to you, hearing you calling me, your order, your high hopes gaze, your eyes with relief. I think phoenix, makes me know you better. Well i love phoenix, so does you. I respect this friendship so does you. =)
yours sincerely,
wan syafiqa meor hissan
deputy house captain of phoenix '10

The HOLIDAY spent. ;)

Seriously, the vacation was really hilarious ! Well, my life now is nothing without friends. Thanks a lot my dear friends. Enjoyable! I couldn't argue more. It was yeahh. nice. I'm carving for stuffs like that. hee~

Day 1 ;

On the evening :
Departed from Penang Central to island. We boarded the ferry to reached island at 11.15 a.m i guess. and took the bus to reach Syahirah's house. smpai rumah syera, usah cerita lahh. aku da start lapar. So, mee jawa was ready to be eaten. I got the largest bowl. haha. So, I'm full. Finger lickin good. ;) Done zohor's prayer. Pakai kasut n continue our journey. Amik bas pg komtar. Shop. Shop. Shop. =D Although I am not good at yeah shopping (as mom doesn't implement it since i was a kid. she said, but only what you need, not what you want.) i was enjoying myself looking at stuffs and window shopping. so we decided to buy shirt written ' I love penang ' on it. I bought a bracelet which i thought nice enough on me. Tgh plih2 gelang..

" Kamu semua budak2 u ahh? " uncle tu tanye dgn dielect cina dy. hehe
" Bukan larh uncle. Kami bru F.5 "
" Aiya. Ya ka? kamu semua nampak pandai. "
=.=' matured sgt kot. haha

Done with bracelet, glasses shop. =)) waa.. Najwa n Miera was so excited looking at em. While me? I couldn't wear it. Or else, I'm gonna hit something in front of me because I couldn't see without my spectacles with power lenses okayy. Sorry guys, couldn't join ya. huhu. Starting praying asar and move on to Padang Kota Lama with Kak Tin. Taking pictures of course. :) The view was really beautiful. And Kak Tin treated me with mee sotong and coconut milkshake. Awww, that was really2 good. tasty I tell ya. should try. hehe. I've also got the chances to ride a beca. hak2. sgt menenangkan. it took rm10 per ride. but it was worth. trust me. with the dusk cool breeze, i've got the chances to taste all those view. oh my, it's a lovely one. ^^

The night :
We prayed at Kapitan Keling mosque. Ceramah agama dy dlm bhasa india. that's unique. huhu. Waiting for syera's parents to come and pick us and we went to Pesta penang Sg. Nibong.. Wahh.. my 1st time here. It was loud and there's a lot of stalls selling all those beverages and food. Yet, there's also games. enough with the one named challenger. I felt dizzy and vomited. haha. My RM8 flew like a bird. =.=' Sumpah xnk naik da! huhu. Reached home nearly 1 a.m. Haihh, tp ad mase lg kteorg tgk2 tv cter pirates of the carribean. haha at 2 a.m? shut up and go to sleep.

Day 2 ;

In the morning :
Wake up ! Wake up ! Starting our day with roti canai. i ate 2 pieces. haha. kuat makan ouhh! nie smea sbb Khairan. dy terambik lebeh. hehe. :P xpe. syera bwk pg roadwalk. tgk2 barang je. i kn..xpndai shopping. haha. went to P. Ramlee's gallery. Amik2 gambar saja. the fees was free. And we then, continue our journey to gurney. tgk2 barang lg. Syera bwk pg mkn pasembor and minum teh 3lapis. haha. wow, nice again. suddenly, it was raining. perghh... basah kott. thank god, we were not that wet when suddenly zulhilmi gave me a ring. wanna meet me? aiyaa.. =.=' da la tgh bsah. so i was like orayt. but just a few seconds. unluckily, syera's mom asked us to go back so i'm sorry zul. i've to go back. Reaching home and we went to janggus i guess eating laksa. perghhh.. again. Sedapnye. :)) I ate 2 bowls! mkn pisang and keledek goreng lgi. Full. fuhh.. what a life. haha

Night :
Here we were! Batu Feringgi ! Set up tent. arranging food. go and pick pillows and put em into the tent. Whatelse? Ohh, damn. It's raining. So all we got to do was.. sitting in the tent. waiting for the rain to stop. after an hour, syera's dad wanna brought us to pray. but bfore that, smea org nk ke toilet la plak. hotel mmg la berlambak2 kt situ.. tp the weirdest thing is, toilet xde air maa.. arap je hotel org kaya. haha. ;p bila hujan dah berhenti.. yeahh. tyme for the bbq and the spaghetti eating. sedapnye. :)) jln2 kt tepi pntai.. how romantic and sweet kn kalau ad beloved one. But well, i lose him. huhu. nahh.. don't talk about that. as we were about to sleep. it happened to rain again. n khemah plak bocor bcoz it was raining too hard. shits. huhu. so, go back home. we didn't even sleep for the whole night. haha.

Day 3 ;

Nothing much happen. We ride the bus and reached Kamunting. Took taxi to reach Stesen bus taiping. took bus again to reach Kuala Kangsar. My dad picked us up and we got a good amazing tour by my dad. haha. gallery sultan azlan shah's visits and the palace, the've seen them. i also let them to take a look at my sch. :) everybody was tired and we did nothing on the night. only watching movies.

Day 4 ;

Lost world !! arhh.. 5 jam woo berendam dlm air tue. unexpectedly, jumpa faisyal, fizy, faridzul andd.. daniel. perghh,,, lari3. xmo jumpa dorg !! haha. i was not wearing tight so there's some games i couldnt even have the chances to play. smpy da mcm nk gado2 ngn org tue da. haha

"adik, kalau pkai track bottom xleh nek "
" sy nk jgak mcm mane? "
" ini peraturan dik "
aku da mula bengang. abg tue pon ckp cm hampehh jea.
" ape rasional nye org pkai track xbleh nek? ade ke konsep fizik yg terang mende nie "
"ini peraturan mmg la kene ikut, ala sye pon blaja sains jgak "

ouhhh, abg. saya xboleh trima alasan tue. kalau abg tegur saya dgn cara elok, mmg sy akan blas dgn cara elok. MELAMPAU betol. Customers are always RIGHT okayy. Dengan muka yg xblehh blahh and tgor kteorg mcm nie ? who the hell you think you are ? menyampah btol. We paid ok. which costs nearly rm40 per person. nsib bek kwn aku x tanye,

" kalau cmtue, nape keje mcm nie je? " haha. lg kuang aja. :P

xpe la.. kami berendam je la dlm pool tue.. bwh cendawan yg kuar air tue.. haha.. so ad lg stu game. kterorg buat bodo je. nak nek jgak. dtg la security guard tue sorg...

" adik, xboleh pkai cmnie kalo nk nek"
" ala.. boleh la bang " smbil mlontarkn syuman yg pling maniss kt dy. haha
" sorry la dik, kalau sy bg, t.. yg atas tue plak yg xbg. "
nsib bek abg nie tgur aku elok2. xpela.
" nape adik x pkai tight ? tgk.. org len pkai oke jea? "
" dosa, pahala sy mcm mane bang ? "
.....................dead line.....................
senyap trus. dy snyum n geleng2 kpala.
hah! puas aty akuhh. hahaha. ;p

so, pkul 5.. kami gerak blik. abah da ajak blik da. smpy rumah je. mmg sgt2 memenatkan. smpy jea mak da suh msk utk kwn2. nsib bek dinner mlm tue besh. asam pedas aku sgt sedap. hehe.

Day 5 ;

Just, antar kwn2 blik penang kt bus10. their ticket was at 11.15. Good bye friends. It was the most wonderful moments for us. LOVE YA. =)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Finally, it's over.

Wuuhhue ! :)

After all, I've done it. No more examinations at sch. After 3weeks imprisoned by the power of SPM, finally... Here I am. UPDATING MY BLOG again which is the turning point for the LONG BLOODY REST. However, leaving school isn't a really major things I should treasure after adapting to school for about 10 years through thick and thin. It's a relief but also, a sigh. Not to mention living in a hostel for about only 1 and a half year really taught me to have a real life. It taught me a lot of things and yea, I am glad, glad to be placed here in the hostel called 'ASRAMA PUTERI SEK. MEN. SAINS KEPALA BATAS' . Juniors in aspuri, breaking the hostel's rules, gossiping right after the prep class, waking up early lining up for shower, the free-shower bath with kain batik ( it was thrilling. seriously. haha ), eating every meals at the dining hall, staying up late for the next day examination, having a crush on boys, packing things for the overnight session, buying tickets to go home... I'm not going to taste them anymore. But most of all, these are the things that I'm going to long for ;

  • Sarah's voice waking up the dorm members. "Bgun2..... Bella, bgun2. " haha
  • Azan Muzzakir. Last subuh kt skola, sayu sgt rasa. :)
  • Makan pau chocolate kt dining hall. Xpernah jumpa kt mana2 lg pau choc. hehe
  • The Asmiza's violence. Tyme dy kejut aku bler... "miza ! gerak aku lg 10mnt" Dy gerak aku smpy aku bgn. Sgt mmbingitkn telinga aku. =.='
  • Junior2 yg bg salam. " assalamualaikum, kak wan. " terase direspect. hihi
  • Mkn besar lps PBM / weekend. My fave. ;)
  • Captain house, Hafiz's order. " Wan, phoenix nk uat ap ? " Will miss it.
  • Faisyal's voice as Imam. Sedapnye suara dy..
  • Adik2 phoenix yg slalu tease me !! haha. SAYANG korg
  • Toiletries yg belambak2 beratur kt depan shower tunggu turn. tp aku xpernah letak pon.
  • Inspection ! inspect locker budak2 rumah. haha. ^^
  • Row-call. walapon menensionkn dn agak annoying...
  • Sensei soccer kasut. haha ^^
  • Tukar2 simcard kt spe2 yg bwk hpone illegally. ;p
  • Bella's new tips of fashion.
  • Stay up mlm2 kt tepi tingkap.
  • Kelas biology, hardcore extra class time. perghh..
  • Abah's advices for their daughters and sons.
There are more sweet and bitter stuffs that happen in sch. I would not forget single of it. I earn a lot of things since the 1st step I'm here. and yeah, I'm proud to be known as the students from Kepala Batas Science Secondary School or even as the SBPian. Once a SBPian, is always a SBPian. They say that. :)

Whoever said that this the end of the school is such a relief?
NO, its a SIGH.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

If he is the moon, I'll be the star.

Hi readers.

People, i guess i've found another him. Another someone that can always draw a smile on my face. Another someone who seems to write sweet notes to me. Another someone who manage to make me feel the butterfly in my stomach more than SPM (i bet) and yet another someone who is unable to be seen again except for the moon which symbolizing him. However, this isn't interrupting myself from focusing on my aim. This one seems beautiful that able me to have the strength to go to school once just to see him even only a flash figure of himself. See, how powerful does it work. :) As it feels like he is the 1st guy whom i seeked for during the thousand crowds of boys, this is such feeling which abandoned me a couple of months before.

For even i can always feel the heat of the disappontment until now, maybe the moon can heal it slowly. However, it takes loyalty and the faithful itself to have a happy relationship which suits you. I visited his page just now. Well, seems that he was tied in a bond with someone I really know since last year. Maybe high hopes don't give you anything except for a heart broken. haha. seems that i'm a bit sentimental today. haha. Funny. But well ya, he is even the so called guy whom girls are always chasing on. No doubt. I dunno why and again it's funny for falling for him. I never thought though.
Hey dear,
I never rely on appearance to like someone, it all depends on you yourself.

I don't like you because of looks, it because you know how to treat me sweetly.

I'm not the type of girl who is easily fall for someone but it because I know how to judge you. :)

I'm not someone who will lose my pride easily and it seems like you know how to respect me.

People, if you again asking me, " Is it because if his appearance ? " I'll answer it NO. I did only just realize it he indeed has the look once I've been treated nicely by him. Fullstop :)

Each time I miss you,
A star would fall down from the sky,
If you looked up at the sky,
And found it dark with no stars,
It's your fault.
You make me MISS you SO MUCH.

chilled up! he has being reminded me. =.='
They say I'm starting to love and being loved again.
Am I?

Friday, November 5, 2010

I think I hate him.

Dear readers,

I don't know why i'm starting to feel so so much pissed off! He really does driving me insane. He doesnt't even seems to care about me. I sent him notes, commented on his wall post so that he knows I really did care. After all, he did not even reply me. It's a negative sign from him. I'm worrying so much and started to feel hurts when I see he chatted with others especially HER.

.can't stand it anymore.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Because I'm a girl.

Just finish visiting ain's blog. hah, she's using the methods i wrote before to well, forget him i guess. well, ain are you really trying to forget him now? We are always behind each other right ? You for me and me for you forever. :)

well, ain i cross something i think worth to put in my blog. i mean. yeahh. i think i am really a girl. it just that the feeling doesn't go away for how many times i tried. he hurts me like hell but still i couldn't take this feeling off.

" i just can't understand the ways of all men and their mistakes, you give them all your heart and then they ripped it all away. "

" never thought of being a girl, how can i love for you and be burned and now i would build a wall to never get torn again "

" although that i said i hate you now. though i shout and curse you out. I'm always have love for you because I am a girl "

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I feel STUPID.

What's more that I'm gonna write here. arhh, seems much2 updates right now. why ? because there's no one that i can share my life with. haha. The more i wait, the more I feel stupid right now. It's freaking damn stupid !! arhh.. *pissed off.

So people, why do i think in this way ? yea.. i know. It's a bad idea to think yourself i mean yea. at least respect myself for not calling me as stupid. but i really think that way ! GOSH. what am i doing now bloggy ? =.= so, this is the stupidity of mine ;

I received text from him...
I didn't reply. credit went off. so bia jea la.walopon dlm hati nie. AKU NK REPLY!!! Think that i can fight for the feeling.*Thinking what should i do. Hah, pergi mandi! haha. tue je la method nk hilangkn rase xbest nie.

*Tengah keringkan rambut..suddenly,
-New message received- 0_o dy hantar lg ?
"wan, raya tahun nie mcm mana? datang rumah aku ark ?"
ohh, kawan aku rupanya.xde kedit nie so..
"abah, jom pergi kedai. ika nk topup"
abah cakap ; nanti2, abah nk tgk brita nie.
aku ; alaa...lambat la cmnie. =.=

tiba2..right after that...AGAIN
-New message received-
"haiyaa..kawan aku nie sabar la..adeyh.."
o'oh, bukan kawan aku tp DIA.
Erk, I feel that my legs are weak! Ish pehal mamat nie. so i've made up a promise to myself ;
"Ika, jgn mcg dy even da topup pon. paham ??"
I nodded.

*half an hour later.
"Ika, jom !"
alamak..abah da siap. cepat2. capai selendang, amik sweater. ahh, sarong aje lahh. kak yang kate dy nk ABC so dy dgn xmandi nye..capai towel ikot sekali.aduhh.smelly. ;p tp sudahnye, it's still me going out bought it for her. T.T
Reached petronas. Abah suh pergi isi minyak n beli topup utk abah, kak yang and of course me.
I top up right after that.
But the weird thing is.. I text him 1st. not my friend. Aiyoo..ape aku nihh.lupa terus psl mcg kwn aku tuh..

"Eyt, sorry. kedit xde td. baru je top up"
he replied.
"nk mcg dgn...trus top up ye?haha"
dalam hati aku ; mamat niyh. PERASAN betol ! Ish, geram betol aku. terus aku delete mcg tuh. tgh tahan geram niehh. sampai org JIMboy tue kasi aku ABC pon aku xsedar.aku igt aku xnk reply da. sbb geram. xpe la. aku lupa motif aku !

........Reply text kawan aku dlu....... =.=

pikir punya pkir.hurm..reply la. t aku plak menyesal.

"Ish, xde la. nk msg kwn ckp pasal raya. gpon baru pasan je mcg nie"
hurm. kelentong la skit.terpaksa. huk

"haha. R u trying to fool me sha ? I know you very well "
alamak..sudahh. dy patut nye da xigt ape2 psl aku ! dy yg plih xnk aku da. hurm..nie nk nangis nie. :(

aku pon dgn gagahnye ; " ey, btol la. sekarang nie mlm2 org letak phone dalam laci tau. xnk tgk phone punya pasal. "

huh, mmg btol pon. xpe, tgk.ape dy reply.
"haha. I've read ur blog la mkck"

eii..geramnye aku dgn pkcik tinggi n! hurm.xpe2.aku pon reply ;
"Alaa..mcm la dlm blog sha ade tulis. "I'll top up just to mcg you." ade?xde kn..haaa. ;p"
utk mnghilangkn rase aku yg tgh geram nie. mcm2 smiley la aku letak. :)

"Mmg la xde. but i know la..i always know."
aku dgr mcm tue trus aku rase sedey. erm, dy kenal aku lagi. erkk,, ika!!! tahan! tahan!

suddenly he sent me this ;
aku duduk, terus pegang dada aku. ish, rase cm kene current. =.=
"huh? yea..y?" i replied.
"sje..haa..ntah pe dy rase org pggil dy g2.haha."
tyme tue aku da rase aku cam org bodoh. dy treat aku mcm tue. nk main2 kn aku lagi ke? tolong la..i can't resist. I'm building the strength from zero, time dy layan aku mcm taik! but he ruined it all.

n..he did say this ;
"I want to make you feel better because I heard you are being so miserable"
aku da agk geram da time tu.ape?? do you think that I am THAT WEAK !??!
"xpe la. its ok. i don't want to burden you kalo btol xnk mcg.lgpon it's my miserable.not urs. and it isn't ur responsibility anymore to make me feel better"
he replied ;
"hey, it's mine when i'm the cause k? just enjoy it k? ;p" could i enjoy if my emotion is not that stable and i might FALL FOR YOU AGAIN? and with that smiley, i think he should put this smiley ' :) ' rather than ' ;p '. It does not make me feel any better.
i replied ;
"its my feeling. how sure are you i won't fall for you again ?'s a lot miserable to accept that you are going to treat me as a fren. because i've told ya..i'm still waiting."

guess what he said people? It's simple ;
" Then, keep on waiting. ;) "
I feel that i am very2 freaking damn so stupid ! ='(
"yea..till i met new guy i think. hahaha"
"it's up to you sha."
Aku rase makin bodoh! ahhh...!! hey, boy doesn't you get it ?? if you can resist seeing me with other guy, how could you expect the same thing from me?seeing you with other girl? do you think that i'm okay with that? NO, I'M NOT OKAY!!!

Well, the text ended up by saying that " I can't resist this conversation anymore and it's buhbye from now..tataa" still. he hadn't reply my last text no matter how many times i remind him to reply my last msg so that i won't wait. I don't know what's up with that guy. He comforted me in a lot different way. he shouldn't bring up the thing that he really want to take me away from sadness. He should not even remind me for what he used to call me before.he just has to approach me and started with something that might make me forget about it while texting him. I'm not only losing you but also bestfriend.

Monday, September 6, 2010

What's been up lately ?

Good morning everyone!

It is a bright and cool morning. I don't know why. Instead, it does not raining. huhu. So how does my day starts? It started at 0000 as I was chatting with him which he asked me to call him Afoq, the SASian. Arhh, guess that I miss him quite a lot. :) Met him at KESUMA and he was quite charming. No doubt, with tall and broad shoulder yet quite tough. Well, the hockey player normally looks like that right ? U bet. The most girl's preference. ;p So, well i chatted with him nearly 3 hours and i enjoyed it so much. I slept at 3. and just wake up at 8.30. look at my phone anndd.. say what?! the num...ber. o'oh. I could feel like the electric current has just passed me through. guess that i should put the thinner resistance so it won't really effect my day. haha. so xpe la. i did reply his's ok. no need to say it here.malas nk igt because i'm still one progression. ahh, kene kuat ! kene jgak ! pakse diri ! huhu. and the bother line, acah and dina said jgan lebey2! i guess i obeyed the bother line even though i feel like nk lebey2 jgak. hahaha. chill2 ! I'm strong ! yeahh... ;)

So this holiday, i notice something weird. I mean the boys that i dumped 2 years ago or my be year ago..contacting me back. uh huh. i tell you it was SCARY. ok let me start with the 1st one.

Ex-koleqian boy ;
I was watching the NEWS on TV as i noticed my phone was vibrating. aik, he called. so i picked up the phone and.. "hello" and... the conversation becomes smooth. ohh, i miss him as a friend of course. so he seems fine and i don't want to bother him as he's going to have tests on the upcoming days. I'm wishing him luck and continue my day as usual. It's ok. i misscall him first and hope to get the good feedback then. and yeahh, I'm happy. :)

Ex-camping boy ;
I was tidying up my house when again i noticed my phone keeps on vibrating. ohh, dia rupanya. so I approached him as usual. asking how has he been. what was him doing and blah3. tiba2... "awk, saya tunggu awak lepas SPM tau. :) " ohh, hell. i'm in trouble. dy igt lg ?? I thought it was all over as i said that thingy. I also have forgotten for what i was saying. alamak. yes, credit when off! i didn't reply. he really waits for me for real ? unbelievable. he called me last night. i rejected the calls and at last, i answered it sweetly. I mean i taste the feeling before so i wont let others get the same back at least not FROM ME. So with tons of fake explanations and good reasons, i was able to handle the heart with care. :) but seriously, the thing do not only stops there, i have to talk to him later after the SPM. bbbaaassyyya!!

Ex-tuition classmate ;
Wake up for sahur. look at my phone and aik, he texts me and got some misscalls from him. so msg2..he splited this word. " ohh, sayang btol kamu kt aku yek." hah? wth? aduhh.plik3. so i replied him back. "mesti la.kau kan kwn aku :) " don't forget the smileys. so it continues during the nights and i found out that arhh. dy jdik mat rempit !!! lumba haram? aiyaaa... scary nye.. and3, he wants to meet me? ohh..again not with mat rempit. it does scare me a lot. so, for sake of friendship i said, "ya2.boleh jea" but didn't even made up promises.i should think of good excuses after this. phewww..what has been up lately ?

Sunday, September 5, 2010


Hi readers!

what's up on today? today i've done a lot of work. yeah, cleaning stuffs and cooking ! :) lately, it's like my job to cook for the whole family since mom is not really feeling well, so i'll take the responsibility to cook for them. yea. it's a bit tough as dad is a bit fussy about food and keep on comparing the food with mom's. it happens to be that way. but not for this while. haha. abah kate sedap. well, i'm happy. :)

erm currently i'm trying hard not to think about it. so much things to do.i'll keep myself busy every moments so that i will not think about it often.

List of things to do so it won't really play on my mind ;
  1. Don't visit his profile often. well, it's a lot miserable. xpe. cuba!
  2. Don't try to look at my mobile phone at night. I might starting to miss him.
  3. Keep myself a real busy.Pretty much, it's tiring.It burden me a lot. Cess.
  4. Value those people around me especially friends and family.
  5. Recite Quran more. It helps me to reduce my stress toward everything especially him and my studies.
  6. Don't listen to love song especially the broken hearted one. If i'm not show it physically, i'll be crying inside heavily. Better not.
  7. Contact other people if i'm starting to push on his number. thanks rizman, zul, and korek. haha. sorry kalau kacau korang. ;)
  8. Delete his number ! I've done it. however, how would i delete his number from my memories?
  9. Don't look at his picture again ! it would bring up all the memories back.
  10. Keep on studying. I'll show him.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Terima kasih, KAWAN.

I was back to school this week with sadness. Really2 sad ! :( so as soon as i done praying. syahirah n other dorm mates surrounded me. dorg duduk n tanye.

"wan kenapa ni? mcm sedih je. what happen ?"
muke aku time tu usah cerita la.mmg xde mood. ahh, toye semcm.
"aku..aku da...dgn dy"

aku pelok syahirah. terasa sgt time tu. i was crying again. ntah berapa galo0n da air mata aku kuar. hanis dtg, usap2 blakang aku.

"betol ke nie wan ? mcm xpercaya je. kau mcm nie aku pon terasa tempiasnye. ish, kenapa aku rasa sedih jugak ni."
"kenapa ni nenek? aku da hilang ayah. aku hilang atok aku sekali ke ?"Bella dtg duduk tepi katil aku. aku tau dia xtau apa2 cerita. niat dy nk bergurau. rupa2 nye btol2. trus dy tnye lagi.
"ehh betol ke nie?" aku mengangguk2.
"aah bella. betol. " :(

that time. kawan2 aku tanye aku kenape? aku xtau nk jwb ap. senyap aje. aku ckp aku xfhm. memang xfaham kenape dy buat mcm tue. xde sebab yang konkrit. aku xbleh trima sebab tu..x boleh langsung.xpe lahh.dorg suh aku mandi. so capai towel pg shower. bru je aku nk masuk dlm shower, safy bru kuar.

"oyh, kenape nie ?"
aku senyum jea. xlarat nk ckp.aku trus msuk lm shower. bukak air.
"eyh wan. ko tgk x vid yg aku suh ko tgk? aku chat ngn yen tau x?"n..blah3. happynye kwn aku nie. aku tumpang gembira safy. :)
aku donggakkn air shower tue bia sampai muka aku. ahh, sakitny xilang lagi. aku jerit dlm shower tue.
"saffyyy!! aku da xde pape ngn dy!"
walopon byk air yg bjujran atas muka aku. aku still dpt rase air mata aku kuar.
"aku tau."safy jawab.

aku terdiam. aku tau dy ckp mcm td nk buat aku lupa masalah aku.kau bwat mcm mane pon safy, aku still pkir jgak. sorry.

"kenapa aku rase dy buat mcm tue sbb terpaksa? aku rase dy ad sbb laen. "

aku diam lagi. mandi.mandi.mandi. aku kluar shower.nmpk safy kt sbelah shower aku. ohh, dy tunggu aku rupanya.xpelahh. aku kuar nk blik dorm dgn dy. tbe2 jmpe ain.

"wan are you okay mama wan?"
"no, i'm not okay."
berkaca blik mata aku.
"eyh, don't cry. shhhh..shhh.."
safy dr belakang lari..trus tutup mata aku.
"dahh!! jgn nanges!!"dy jerit.
aku xbleh thn.meleleh jgak akhirnye.

*Berbuka puasa. dining hall.

aku tgk safy senduk nasi. dy buh utk satu meja. smpy turn aku.
"cukup x?"
"ish byk sgt. buang lagi."
kawan-kawan smea plik pndang aku. aku tau dorg plik nape nasi yg aku mntak agk sikit dr biase. sorry, aku xlalu nk makan.
"wan, habiskn nasi."
"sorry, aku xlarat. perot sakit"
"da masuk angin la tue? awat hang xmkn wan ? dr bler hang xmkn nie ?"
"aku mkn skit je.xlalu"
"hang nie laa...da2."
"safy, aku nk call dy mlm nie."
"ok. kau nk aku ad kt sebelah ke? "
"aah.nk."aku angguk.

aku pergi mintak aisyah krim halia.arhh..nk sapu kt perot.skitnye rase. aku masuk je dlm dorm phoenix 2. aisyah tanye..

"anything to story?"
aku nganguk n trus bercerita. kwn2 aku kasi support.mlm tue aku xlarat nk terawih. perot teramat la skit.

*mlm. phoenix 1. lepas prep.

"wan jom makan !"
perghh..mlm tue.dorm aku gler kaya dgn mknn.bella bwk cucur udang.khairan bwk murtabak. syahirah bwk spageti n bandung.perghh,.sedap.najwa bwk yong tau fu.miza bwk air honeydewn kuih muih.sarah plak bwk 3 jenis mee. hehe. abes la smea pakse aku mkn. mkn jgak la. sbb tyme tue aku asyik igt nk call jea. tp kwn2 aku xbg call. dorg suh mkn kenyang2 and degil.

* after light off..

be patient wan. dy dlu.relax..perlahan2.hmm.aku pg call dy tnpa pengetahuan kwn2 aku. mula2 dy xangkt. tp lepas tue dy angkt. dy ckp acuh x acuh. sedeh nye aku rase.xsempat aku nk ckp "bye" dy da tutup. sgt kasar. aku xkre. aku capai journal tue and trus menulis.


Friday, August 27, 2010

The BROKEN promises.

I never could explain how does my heart break into thousand of pieces. Right now, I cant hold back my tears no more. It hurts me so much for every second that i try. I don't know why.

so this is what i got from adila.

Apabila salah satu pintu kebahagiaan tertutup, yang lain akan terbuka tapi lazimnya kita akan memandang pintu yang telah tertutup itu terlalu lama hinggakan kita tidak nampak pintu yang telahpun dibukakan untuk kita. so,..jgnla pndg pintu 2 lma2 hehe..=)

it's ok. I'll wait for him. xpe.k.wan tunggu jgak dila.I'll wait.

Kahwinilah orang yang lebih mencintai diri kita daripada kita mencintai diri orang itu. Itu lebih baik daripada mengahwini orang yang kita cintai tetapi tidak menyintai diri kita kerana adalah lebih mudah mengubah pendirian diri sendiri daripada mengubah pendirian orang lain

Ia cuma mengambil masa seminit untuk jatuh hati pada seseorang, satu jam untuk menyukai seseorang, satu hari untuk menyintai seseorang tetapi ia mengambil masa sepanjang hidup untuk melupakan seseorang. Memang benar yang kita tidak akan tahu apa yang telah kita punyai sehinggalah kita kehilangannya dan uga benar bahawa kita tidak tah...u apa yang kita rindukan sehinggalah 'ia'datang.
ntah la lil sis. thanks sbb bg k.wan semangat blik. huhu.. tp...huhu.ntah la.xtau nk ckp ap.ssh btol kalo da setia. :)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Special dedication.

This is my special dedication to my dorm mates who have live under one roof with me nearly a year. So friends, please..let bygone, be bygone. OK ? Well, the most valuable thing right now is friendship. living in a hostel.that's all it takes. whatever comes, we are looking for friends 1st. that is the rule that we use to practice each time right ? And it is a very bad idea to fight at this moment. After the sorry and thanks, i would like you guys to know that i love all of ya. We've been a lot through think and thin. ;)

Dear friends,
I would like to give my simple review on each of my dorm mates.
So let me now, start with the one that is probably sleep only up above me that is ;

This girl is more into a motherly action. She wakes up very early in the morning and wake us up each morning. If she wakes up late, then the whole dorm members would surely late too. ;)

We have been in the same dorm since last year. She is the most gentle one among us. Atief did say that her voice is like doraemon. ahaha. funny huh ? she's kind. there's no doubt. <3

She's the mother's daughter. she is very pampered but really she take care of her things so neat.

Ketua dorm ! haha. she take care of the very little thing in dorm. she creates the duty rooster and make sure that the dorm is neat every morning.

This is another girl that we call gadis ayu. haha. she is beauutiful.really beautiful and her acts? cute ! very cute ! :)

This girl is so talkative. haha. she exprienced a lot of things and yet that things make she grow older. :)

haha. name pengasas ajaran sesat. kui3. :) she live in hostel since she is form one and yea experienced a lot of things based on the seniority complexion. so kalo spe2 nk sorok hp, tanye dy ! haha

I enjoy talking to her. She's the most inpenetrable shield for backuping the phoenixian members out of the revenge of the other house. ;)

Saturday, July 31, 2010

The SMSKBians.

Hello everyone.

Today, this session is dedicated to those people who has really make me wonder a lot, there are some weaknesses on them that they don't realize and doesn't listen to those voices who speak for the rights. Pheww, seems that it's criticizing the people again. So here's are the details ;

1) The teachers
Firstly, I'm sorry teachers If i had make mistakes and well, if you think that this session might also torn u apart or my words would hurt you. Sadly, its very nagging me when i can see the point obviously when the teachers are making the fivers as the experiment. When the 1st time i stepped in this school, this is what people mentioned to me before. I hate to say this but unluckily I feel it's much more disgusting when the specialty that we have based on the seniority complexion has been removed or lessen due to your trust on the juniors' voices. I don't like to give a damn. It has touched my sensitiveness when suddenly the one that should go representing the school on the international level has to be the f.4s. Well, seems that the teachers have not look at us due to the reason saying that we are the form five. we have bad results and we are not allowed to go. That's more disgusting when the moment to go was the PBM session and there's no extra class for us. It only took 3days. Does the 3days will affect our results ? Ohh, it's more than shits. Sadly, we are accepting the fact that we are nothing more than an intake. Bad results and make people angry. However, have the teachers wonder what so much we are putting on this school ? What so much we are contributing to this school making it as a real school ? We entered this school in a zero contented school. There are nothing. No books in the library. We even have to choose our own school anthem and choose the books in the library. We planned a lot for the society and club activities and even have to suffer without professional training in every battle in competitions. Have you ever thinking how stressful it was competing in that kind of situation? It was hard. The teachers sometimes know to criticize but don't try to help. It was much more than hurting. Still, the teachers are thinking much for the f.4s and would only like to polish them for the school victories. They provide them with a lot of facilities. On the next year, they can use the computers, borrowing books from library and enjoyed all the things that the fivers had set up for them.I don't really mind that, but please handle the fragile heart of fivers with care.

2) The boys [Aspuraian]
Boys.boys.boys. I don't know what's up with the guys. They are so closed minded and being the backstabbers of the girls. They talked shits and spreading the bad news in the whole aspura. They think that they are good enough to advise people, but then they don't reflect themselves in the mirror first. I would to see the boys to open their eyes widely. Maybe not all, but most of the boys have become so Kampung and could not adapt with the girls. I mean sometimes they could not even talk with girls. I mean, when the girls approach the boys first, they would talk behind our back after that. The boys here are not gentleman. They don't have the will to help the girls when seeing girls handling a heavy work. Let's say that the girls are up on the ladder preparing something, what they do is only looking at the girls and start chatting with their friends. The boys here are lazy. They cannot manage themselves neatly. They have messy dorms and have a bad attitude on the way they talk, walk, hair yet their own self. They even talked about the girls' body so much. They can't see girls wearing a bit tight clothes. They hate the girls attitude but at the same time love to see it. That what I hate about the boys in SAKBA. Any objection ? ohh, well..if the boys would like to object it, your objections are not acceptable. These are a worth and accurate situations and points.

3) The juniors
I would like to claim that the juniors here in SAKBA are not grateful. They are the one who creating the problem and put the blame on other people. They are not matured and rely on people too much. They talk about the seniors so much and complain a lot. I don't know why the f.4s sometimes doesn't have a critical and creative thinking. They can't think out of the box and don't manage to complete their tasks even on the last minutes. They have not even think that the seniors have sacrifice a lot for them. They are chosen for the international programmes which we don't have the chance to taste it. They don't have the leadership. I don't how they could manage the school next year. Hopefully, it would be just o.k.

So people, please moving on up !

Friday, July 16, 2010


Today's on listed things ;
1) I'm having head-ache. Vaccine in need.
2) Waiting my parents to arrive Penang. Time is wasted again.
3) House prom night? Tired about the anxious thinking.
4) SBP's trial. Sick of studying.
5) Hungry like hell. Wanna eat something !
6) Add-maths and modern maths exercises. Not to mention Physics. Need much time.
7) History, Biology and Chemistry reading. Still on progress.
8) House prom night dress. I never found one.
9) Tons of laundry. Gonna get going.
10) ON-stress.Carmomile tea request. :)

Saturday, July 10, 2010


Hi viewers.

Actually, my holiday for this 2nights and a day at my home turned out to be very tough. I caught a fever due to my stomach-ache. I vomited for about thousand times and i could not even eat. It was very pitiful. Not to mention only that, suddenly i feel like i was abandoned from him. I noticed something different from him. I don't know what's really about him. He did not reply my texts as what i was wishing for. Well, this short period of time really make me sad as i was treated that way by him and he seemed a bit angry and not into mood when i had a little misunderstanding in our conversations. Does his feeling fade away? Or maybe he has found somebody new? Dear, if this really happens, u should tell me. Have a frank talk to me. I will let you go even if i had to break my heart into thousand of pieces.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dedicate to ; Abah.


"Happy Father's day Abah!"
.Kak cik.

A day before leaving home.

I'm skipping my class at school for not going back today. so esok ponteng ! haha. pretty much, i would miss the non-main science subjects tomorrow so i guess it wouldn't burden me too much. So, as i checked back my folders in the computer, seems that there are things that i did not share yet with you guys. so next beside me in the picture is zaza. the STF girl during kesuma. we were surrounded by kids, the form1s. aren't the cute ? they keep on nagging us and having a very excited-like cit chat while we were there. huhu. For today posts, i don't feel like really wanna write. Just wanna fill my free time here.

catch ya later. ;)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Currently in the mood of this song ;

Romaji Love Song

Lyrics: Yamashita Tomohisa Music: Yamashita Tomohisa

Itsuma demo isshoni iyounette futari chikai atta kedo
Futari no shiawase na jikan wa toki wo kizamu no wo yameta

Ima machigai ni kiduitemo boku no ayamachi wa kesu koto ga deki nai
Kimi no koto omou to itoshisa de mune ga itai yo

Itsuka moshi mo mata guuzen dokoka deae tara yari naoseru no nara
Tatoe nani ga oki tatte hanashi tari wa shi nai
Kitto kimi yori mo ii hito nante mou inai imayatto kiduita
Dakara mou ichido boku no soba ni ite kure nai ka ...

Me ga samete futo hidari wo mite mo kimi ga iru wake nante nai yo ne
Kimi no nukumori nokoru kono heya ni irarezu machi he to aruku

Taekirenu kodoku no naka de mou kimi no koto shika kangaerare nai
Mou ichido dake boku no hontou no kimochi tsutaetai yo

Dakara moshi mo mata guuzen dokokade aetara boku wa kimi ni iu yo
“Jibunkatte de gomen ne kimi ga inakya dame da yo” to
Ae nai jikan ni kuzureta ai no fun dake kitsuku dakishimeru kara
Konna wagamama na boku wo yurushitekure nai ka...

Ae nai jikan ni kuzureta ai no fun dake kitsuku dakishimeru kara
Tatoe nani ga oki tatte hanashi tari wa shi nai
Kitto kimi yori mo ii hito nante mou inai imayatto kiduita
Dakara mou ichido boku no soba ni ite kure nai ka...

Soshite itsu no hi ka kimi to eien no ai no chikai wo

Love Song

Though, we promised each other that the two of us would always be together,
Our happy times have stopped ticking

Even though, I've realized the mistakes I've made right now, they can't be erased.
Whenever I think of you, the preciousness makes my heart ache.

Someday if we happen to meet by chance again somewhere, and if we could start over again.
For example, if anything happens, I'd never let you go.
For sure, there's no longer anyone better than you, I've finally realized that right now.
So, won't you be by my side once again...

Waking up, I glance toward my left, but there's no way you'd be there, right?
Unable to stay in this room that still has your warmth, I walk toward the streets.

Aside from this endless loneliness, I can't think of anything else other than you.
I want to convey my true feelings to you again.

So, if someday, we happen to meet by chance again somewhere, I'd tell you
"I'm sorry that I was selfish, I can't go on without you"
When I can't see you, I will embrace what was left of our ruined love.
So will you forgive this selfish me...

When I can't see you, I will embrace what was left of our ruined love.
For example, if anything happens, I'd never let you go.
For sure, there's no longer anyone better than you, I've finally realized that right now.
So, won't you be by my side once again...

And, one day, a promise of everlasting love with you

The sem break.

It's nearly 1 and a half week spending my time with my sister at home. What more could i say rather that having a dull birthday and probably holiday without my family in Malaysia. Well, i wish they have fun in India back then. Today's friday. seems that 2days left before going back to school and the class session might really pressure me. well, yeah the sbp trials is just around the corner. a month left and i still think that i cant manage to answer it like they should be answered. ohh, pretty much. homework. =) i didn't finish a single of it. what a really good girl im being here huh. i still don't have the spirit once i step inside my home. not into mood of study. haha. well, thinking that i should put it in action viewers.

gtg. will update soon. ;)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Star Gazing and Space Camp.

Hi viewers !

How do you feel today?
FANTASTIC !! haha. Zaharim's style. ;)
This is what Zaharim done during the star gazing. Haha. pretty funny ya. ;P

I think I've fallen for the stars and the sky. This is of course due to the programme. I love the stars yet the sky ! It really amazed me to the creators. So ppl, this is what happen during the tyme.

Day 1st, 28th of May

The foreigners from Thailand and Indonesia and the other participants from the selected SBP and a few of daily schools check in during that time. The students of SMSKB which did not involve already packed all their things up going home that day. The participants of my school which consists of most of the Form 5 did nothing. We slept and some were having cit chat. The night before we were having some 'gotong-royong asrama' just because of them. ! I worked overload that night. Pity me. But, for the sake of my school, its OK then. ;) The next thing was, the opening ceremony. So the Endang dancers took part in it to welcome them. AND.... there we go.. Zaharim conducted the ice breaking. Pretty fun but then i dont have the chance to meet other schools students as we were just playing with the common faces everyday which were of course the boy at my school just to keep away from getting the punishment. haha. Still, I keep listening to some girls talking about that boy is handsome, that one is cute and etc. Well, i dont have the mood gossiping about them. haha. The next thing was a talk by K.C about how to take the pictures of the stars, galaxy and planets. seriously i tell you... it was damn freaking cool ! Sorry then, i dont have all that pictures. I do but i dont have the scanner to share it here. It ends up at 11 i guess, and.. I sleep soundly because i was very tired.

Day 2, 29th of May
The next day on the morning we were briefed about how to make the water rocket. The 1st one was just a talk and they showed us the right way to build a telescope. I wish i have one. Telescope is not that hard to build actually and yea, we can actually see the stars anytime with the rules that the sky should not have a thick cloud. ;) The clock strike at twelve and i have the chance looking at the sun. During the sun gazing i can see the sun spot. COOL ! i can see a few of dark spots here and there. ;) We were having lunch after that and continued with the next session which was building the water rocket. Aha! Nice one. I was able to get it done at the right time and my rocket was perfect. ;) Well readers, this is the moment which i met him. He looked and me and smile. I looked at him back and did nothing. My heart was pounding that hard. Haha. I turned walked away and wondered who is him? Followed on the night thingty was having a star gazing and going into a so called igloo. I dont know what was it but the easiest thing to describe it was an igloo. haha. The Organizer asked us to separate into a group of boys and a group of girls. Supposedly that night we were able to see the planet and moon. But we were having a thick cloud for a while and yea then we can see it ! Nice one. Some even took pictures. I went back to hostel quite early that night. But during the time, he passed me by quite often. ;)

Day 3rd, 29th of May
The Malaysia's Books of Records !! yeahaaa..!! We were creating the Malaysia's record for launching a 50 rockets at the same time. Unluckily, we only managed to launch only 41 rockets. The other 9 was a bit late.huhu. It's ok then. We still have the records but it was written 41 rockets. It was of the big triumphs of a new school guys ! Chill ! hehe. On the afternoon, we were given the chance to practice launching water rockets as in the evening we were going to have a competition. Everything moved smoothly. Our group did pretty well but we did not win. Congrats to the winner ! Lah and the gang. hehe. At night, star party ! but the thing turned worst when, it was raining. Gosh !! Just imagine. we did nothing..only took photos and exchanging phone numbers. And, I snap a pic with him. He is actually from Sains Johor and he is Haziq. ;) Dont get me wrong. I didnt take any of the boys phone number. huhu. The day ends with a smile after having a snap with him.

Last Day, 30th Of May
The closing ceremony. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor came ! He came late. Really. and he indeed handsome ! haha. very2 handsome ! Every one was around him. taking pictures and i got his autograph ! That is just enough for me.haha.

Readers, the photos would come up next ! Stay tuned.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Malaysia - Thailand. A beautiful bond.

There's nothing much i would like to write here. I was being the tour guide for the Siamese who came to my school. It was such a very beautiful one. They are so nice yet friendly. Although they don't really understand English but we managed to converse and communicate with each other well. We even tried to learn to speak in Thailand. Haha. It was nice. We enjoy helping you teachers ! The second delegation was not conducted by us. Hence, I don't know what's up with the them who pay a visits on my school. The next one will be the Star gazing and space camp. Sheikh Muzaffar might be around. Wait for the next post ya readers. I'm going to have a snap with him. haha. By the way, here's some pictures we captured during the day. ;)

The teachers from Thailand after having lunch. We even learn how to say delicious during that moment. It was " Alloy ka? " remind me of Cemistry ! ;P

He's wearing our batik. ;) Nice huh? One of the most active teachers and i enjoy being and guide him. He bought the SMSKB goody bag and really have the strong spirit to gain knowledge here.

A snap with mama. Our lovely school principal. Mama, please bring us to Thailand ! Can't wait. ;P

The delegation of Thailand at the back. ;D

They came to our school a month ago. Still I remember him and somehow, they think I'm a teacher instead of a student? Nonsense ! haha. I still young and have long way to go. ;)

The Nanny, and the Little 2 gay sisters. ;p Dear, I'm having fun of having a really nice team mates. Strong faith in the stars and our family yaww ! Not forgetting the debate team. Our school 1st batch team. Nothing compared to anything else. Love you Imah and Bella. Can't say love to zaha, Ain is going to kill me. haha.

Friday, May 21, 2010

I love ADDMATH !

It's updates again !

well, where to start. i am now in my PBM. excited yaww. hehe. i've just completed the examination tasks just now which was the last paper falls on history. hahaha. i managed to write the essays but not that good on structures and objectives. i undergo fever for chemistry and add maths paper and yea, my brain was not working answering add maths. hey, it's add maths readers ! what more could i say when the simple maths i could not even calculate during that moments. my tears dropped a little. i don't dare to think about it hard. i know that i can do it finely. it just that the problems of having fevers and how heavy my head was for the past 2 days. well again, FAIL IN ADD MATHS.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Readers ! updates again ! ;)

It's been a while since no updates in this blog. It is of course due to stupid internet excess at home. huhu. nevermind then. there's even a person who did complain because i did not update my blog. and dear here it is. ;)

so well, the Q day was yea i should admit is as a wonderful day. really nice. although i have to burn my skin under the hot day preparing oblong and ABC but yea it was nice enough to see him by my side.hehe.

"oblong x sdp ! " ewah2, best la dedication tueh. hahaha. it was nice la. everybody said so ok. well, don't envy me for preparing such a delicous oblong. whatelse readers, there were tons of stalls selling products, foods and beverages. i enjoyed watermelon juice prepared by 1Gamma just beside my stall. seriuosly, it was so damn good but then, they do not even want to treat their lovely kak wan btw. wicked juniors ! ;P

Before the Q day, something bad happend to me. it was the moment whereas i lost my confidence the most. Muhd Rizqin Syahmi, you are none compared to shit ! Human who has good mentality and thinkings would not act as you did. the words that you burst out does not make me mad enough even it really made my blood pressure high. thanks god for giving me the strength facing this obstacles because yea i did not give him a punch on his face ! The things that really disappointed me is when the so called nice-smart-good behave headprefect of science kepala batas school, =) was spreading the news all over the f5batch of the pitiful predators was really that annoyed. the things was so annoyed and nonsense to be shared to all of you viewers. sorry for that. That's what the ppl say, good mind doesnt make a good behaviour. I hope ppl who read this especially ppl who know the story would take notes on the things of what i said. :)

That's all for now. Have a nice day. Need to go back to the school which is full of hatred !
I rest my case.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

1st Speaker tasks ! urghh....

If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering how to be a first speaker. Yup, I have to admit it is quite a predicament. The very idea of opening a debate and setting up a case for your side is an unnerving feat even for the gallant. Thus, nerves of steel and a proper guide by yours truly are required! So let’s get cracking and try to transform you into a classy debater in just 10 minutes!
What’s A First Speaker?Well, a first speaker is the first person to open up your case you’re the bench. Thus, a general/thorough understanding of the issue is required. Do not pick a motion you are not well versed in or simply cannot go through. You’ll lose focus, structure and also lose direction. This could be very, very detrimental to your side. Have a general understanding of the facts of the case. This means you’ll know if the other side is lying or not and can quickly point out to the adjudicator. Always remember that the most important thing is your sides stand. Make it a habit to state your stand early on. Clarity is very essential to a first speaker. Take your time, were not in a hurry, be calm…no stress.
Prime MinisterWhat do Gordon Brown, Samak Sunderaverej, Ehud Olmert and Vladimir Putin have in common? Besides funny accents and corruption, they are their respective countries’ head of government. However, in a debate, a prime minister opens up the debate. He identifies a problem in the current status quo and proposes a change. Do this early on in your speech. Identify the freaking problem and say there’s a dire need to solve the problem. What if there’s no problem/ you don’t know if there’s a problem? Then state that public perception is at an all time low in that said issue. Never ever propose status quo, squirrel or propose a truistic case!Tips on a PM are:
1. Being the first person to open up a debate isn’t the best feeling in the world. Trust me, I had better times. If you look at the audience, they want to see you screwed, if you look at the adjudicator, they want to see you screwed, if you look at the opposition, they’re waiting to screw you! So, take a deep breath, steel yourself, muster for strength and speak. Calmly and assuring. Combat that stage fright. Remember your structure; remember your case and most of all remember your goal (to win).
2. What’s a mechanism/framework? This is essentially ‘how we are going to enforce it’. A mechanism is not really needed in all debates. Like in value judgment debates, don’t ban something which does not need to be banned! A mechanism is to be used strategically. It can be used to keep things in debate and things out of debates. A little twitch here and twitch there can give the opposition one hell of a nightmare! Remember to be paranoid so that you can put more safeguards on your case.
3. Point prioritization. During prep, you would have identified the basic principles, the important points, and examples. The most important substantive should be given to the PM. Why? Based on myexperience, adjudicators like to see important points or the obvious points to come out from the first speaker. What if you’re done with your points and you still have much time left? Steal your 2nd Speakers’ point! Sure he would be pissed but as first speaker, you need to come out strong. Not completing the time allocated shows your side has much to say. As for the 2nd Speaker, well he’s got a full speech to think of another point, so help him out.
4. Pre-buttals. I’m sure most of you know what’s a rebuttal is. But what’s a pre-buttal? This is when you have anticipated what the opposition is going to say and you counter it in a speech. If done correctly, you may sound intelligent…for once. Don’t be afraid to concede to certain matters which are obviously true but argue out correctly. How do you anticipate what the enemy is going to say? Well, one of you will have to play as the devil’s advocate and think of an opposition case (preferably the 3rd Speaker). Do pre-buttals subtly. Don’t come up and say “well, the opposition is gonna come up and talk about saving the birds”. That just doesn’t sound right. These views are also shared by World Champion Anna Garsia and 2 times Australs Champion Tim Sonnreich.
Leader of the OppositionAhhh, the loser. The wannabe prime minister. The conservative stick-to-status-quo dude who leads this clan. The best LO a speech that I ever watched was from David Cameron, Conservative Party. Witty, charming, funny, and full of substance and the list goes on. Remember, as an opposition, it is always easier to destroy a case than build one…almost. As an opposition leader, you can either choose to stick to status quo or propose an alternative i.e. a counter proposal.Tips on LO:
1. As the LO, you’ll be speaking up so the heat would tone down a bit. You’re expected to ridicule the PM’s speech, poke holes in it and tell the people why your case is better. Ridicule the mechanism, say why it won’t work. Question on the feasibility of the PM’s proposal. You can even opt to not the problem that the PM has stated. Then, tell the public why status quo is better.
2. Rebuttals. Make rebuttals an essential part of your speech. You want to belittle the government’s case. So focus on your rebuttals. Don’t forget to emphasize on your substantives and state the reasons why changing things would be for the worse. Don’t forget to use even if arguments to strengthen your rebuttals.
3. Of truistic cases, definition challenges and also messy, messy debates. An idiotic PM when proposing a truistic case has essentially plunged the debate at an all time low. Forget about high speaker points. All you’re going to get is a grumpy adjudicator. So, when a government commits this cardinal sin, the LO must initiate a definitional challenge. Tell the adjudicator what the debate is suppose to be about and run an even if case. You’ll learn this in debate training….I hope.
Prep Time!!!Discussing-Arguing-Make Up-Panic at the Debate! 4 Steps in a normal, usual debate team. But we’re not a normal debate team; we’re the UT Mara debate team. So develop a system to cater to this prep as a system. The way I do it, I think on how to attack the motion around 5 minutes, and then discuss it withmy partner with tolerance, good faith, understanding and all that positive stuff. I make a (wish list™) on how to prove the issues on the debate. Remember, thoroughly focus on the 1st Speaker’s Speech first, and then proceed to the 2nd Speaker. Get to know your partner, have a latte and most of all, and cooperate.
That’s A WrapSo, to all you lexicon lovers, I hope you learned something today! Being a classy 1st Speaker takes time and also experience. Heck, I only did it for one year and got loads to learn! If any of you have any inquiries or problems, please don’t hesitate to ask me or our seniors. We’d be glad to help and improve together all in the name of the club. Lastly, I would like to say that all the good stuff in this guide came from god and the bad parts are solely my mistake. Cheers, lads.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


As I explore my computer today. I've found tons of memories which i've left them behind. Sad but true. I'm growing older and things are changing from time to time. I'm started to feel that I'm not going to play the role of being student anymore. So here are the pictures to remember.

Seminar Cabaran Remaja, 2008 ; The Mckk's brothers. =)

Hari Anugerah Cemerlang, 2009 ; I'm rewarded for obtaining straight a's. yeay for me ! hee~

Karnival Kaunseling dan Kerjaya, 2009 ; Kuala Kangsarian besties. ^^

Inter-school debate, 2009 ; THBT Canning should be brought back to school

Chess tournament, 2009 ; Checkmate ! =D

SMKRPK sport day, 2009 ; VVIP guests concierge. hehe

Friday, February 19, 2010

Life goes on.

Readers !

I've been to my school just now. RAJA PEREMPUAN KELSOM @ GOVERMENT ENGLISH GIRLS SCHOOL. i would like to admit here. I miss my old school like hell ! I miss my time there. my old tyme. The good old days. As i stepped inside, i took a deep breath. Gently, i walked in to the post guard. Asking for the permission and i went to the office. it still looks the same. i met my principle. god, she's very small compared to mama, my principle in the so called SAKBA. haha. still, she's cuter. i went donwstairs and tried to search the 5sc1 class. They've been to the class which i usually imagined to be in to. I smile and found that they were not there. i've been greeted by the girls. my juniors. It was quiet touchful. haha. i thought they will never remember me anymore as on of the ex-girls. I was wrong, they do. I went to the canteen, meeting Pak Cik Din and Che Mah. I miss 'em ! They treated me like their children before. I still remember, i met them and tell them about the pmr questions which i've been through. They just smile and reply, "takpe2, cuba lagi" ohh yea, Pak Cik Din had told me about him being a straight a's student once, but then Che Mah came and say, "Jgn kamu pecaye pakcik kamu tuh ! " Straight away, i laughed. Ohh2, pkcik pandai tipu yer. haha. ;) Cikgu Pie gave me a treat of nasi ayam n milo. arhh, the best combination among all !

Well, i was there up to 2 pm i guess. i accompanied my friend in bilik BP. the prefects room. Oh dear, guess what? i feel like i want to do all the prefect's work back. i miss the prefectorial board of the all girls' school. The girls' rules ! All i have to do was just seated and watched them working on the certificates for the prefects' ocassion next week. It was very sad. I kept silent and yea, they're asking me bout the prefects' thingy and yeah, i manage to reply it fluetly . It generally means, i still can manage the prefectorial board. :)

So let the prefects' board at my school would always be as the same level as in RPK. I'll work on it. Promise ya.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Yesterday and this morning.

Morning ! ohaiyo guzaimasu. the phrase dt i greet sensei every morning when i meet her. hehe. It's a bright sunny morning. Syafiqah ask me to accompany her going to my former school back as she wants to take some items that is if you dont have it, then say buhbye to your spm result. the oral affects the result so much i tell you. huhu.

well, yesterday was a sleeping day for me. i wake up and perform subuh prayer, then sleep again, wake up some house chores (the one in school i mean) and my phone rang. i picked up and say, "what's up?" "its me on the line" ohh, syafiqah.. "yea kenape?" "jom la g skola ari n.ak siap da.ko nk ak amik ko ker?" wth, i didnt even take my bath yet. arhh, busuk2.haha. my dad n mom were not home yesterday so i dont have the transport going out yesterday + i did not take my shower yet anndd i'm doing the house work so, sorry dear. It's been posponed by today. gonna meet all my frens back :) seronok2.hehe.

yesterday, mom cooked bihun soup for me. waaa..happy gler i tell you. i ate it and it did force me to take up the 2nd bowl. hehe. the soup is nice. suddenly fahmi text me. oh2. what's up now? he asked me to accompany him going to the library. i agreed. why? becoz i've taken my shower. haha ! but before that, i slept after taking the paracetamol. my throat was ached yesterday and i started feeling a bit dizzy. aiyaa.. its the beginning of my fever. i've knew it. hah! so i decided to drink a lot of water and soon when i wake up this morning. they all fade away except for my running nose. hish, menyampah btol. i don't know how many tissue boxes did i use for it.haha.on my way home from the library, adik text me saying that she's longing for air kelapa. lahaaii, where should i buy it? i walked around lembah searching for it but unluckily, the stall tutup. to let go of my sighed, i seat and then, "mak cik, laksa satu !" haha.quite pissed off. the weather was so damn hot ! if you put anything in the middle of the road, i dare to say. your food is going to 'served and ready to eat'. i walked and walked again. on my way to the bus10, i stopped at a cake house. waa..the cake looked yummy. i bought one and it indeed gooddd ! ;)

at night, waaa. study3x! and texting with zul. haha. dt guy, he keep on making me smile. cess. huhu. i texted with him till i sleep. adeyh tunggu mcg dy punye la lame smpy ttdo2.hoho. I sleep with the bio reference book in my arms. oh2, buku tu da kemek.haha.

so, i'm going to continue my day today right after dis. END.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Dear people,

Viewers, I've updated the blog with some new skins and brand new look. It might look a bit dark and black in my blog. Your visits might brighter it i guess. ;) Sorry for the non-long updated entries. I am pretty busy nowadays with my role at schools and some kind of the first term so called examination is just around the corner. I don't actually have the time to write and the most important thing, my school does not even provide the internet facilities there. I just have to wait and wait till it's going to be available the next year i guess and I'm not schooling there anymore. Pretty sad yaww. The senior year is driving the seniors crazy.

Updates soon. Stay tuned. ;)