Thursday, January 19, 2017

One Call Away

Last night I slept with an enormous frustration in me.

An incident happened just recently. It was getting on my nerve and I was pissed off.

Sabr and patience works well before but then I feel like I'm holding this for too long that I busted my anger through my facebook post. Pretty much that was the climax. I get so angry that I need to force myself to sleep.

I keep on telling the same stories to lots of people who asked. So I'm not going to disclose this again in my blog. Otherwise, it would spark back my fury.

I know that you would not read this because you told me that you just stopped reading my blog.

Thank you for your concern, the kind words and the time spent this morning. Just by listening to my frustration, I am feeling better now. When I told you I hope this friendship lasts, I meant it. Well, at least I am hoping for a relationship to last.

I did not expect that the 1st thing I saw when I woke up was your message though.
And that, makes me happy.

I just realized that,
you are just one call away.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Inner Conscious

Real life and dramas are totally two different worlds. Even if you ask all the actresses and actors, they would say the same things. Ada sebab bila blog ni dibuka, awal-awal dah nampak yang jangan compare hidup ni dengan movie, because your is written by Allah, supaya dapat kurangkan sikit berangan tu. hahahaha. I mean it is essential to think about future, kan? But not when you started to think overboard.

Like what I just did these 2 days....

I should be writing my thesis chapter already, and read lots of journal. My supervisor want to see 50% improvement of the literature review in the next two weeks. However, I just wasted my 2 days weekend macam tu je. Aaaaa. Bad Syafiqa. Lazy Syafiqa >.<

This is entirely because of the things I watched. I've got addicted to this guy vlog that everytime when I log onto youtube to play some music videos I ended up watching his vidoes. Arghh, so frustrating!
Okay lemme tell you guys, I am so enthusiastic with trying new things. I think that was one of the reasons why once I was so eager to go to a boarding school and going overseas. It is not because of the stigma or the norm that those people are brilliant or whatsoever, simply because I wanna experience how does it feel to be in the situation myself. 

And I had the same thought of finding my future spouse too. Well, I told my mom that I wanna marry somebody who is non-malay. And do you know how she reacted? She raised her voice and said NO. I tried explaining it would not be necessary be a mat salleh (I thought what fears her the most was the distance), it could be Malaysian chinese or any bumiputera from Sabah and Sarawak,lol but still the answered was : NEVER. The most awkward moment ever, coz I thought it would not be a very big deal, instead it was a massive stuff and a problem to her. To clear things: simply because I wanna know how a mix marriage would feel, the twist of the two cultures must be very exciting. You'll learn more about a particular race, even better if he is from different country, you'll learn about the nation too! I am also gonna be so excited to see how would my babies look like. How much will the kids take after me or the dad & analyzing the nature of their behavior and interests. It must be related to the one's blood line. And to have the kids with the dad's last name is also exciting to me. hehe. Is it interesting? Okay, I look overexcited that I can list things more. hehe. 

So when I was in Adelaide, I encountered a cute Australian guy with  hazel eyes and brown hair in my Shakespeare class (though I am a biomedical sc student, i was allowed to enroll literature subject as my elective in my 1st year of uni). He was so attractive to me to be frank. He was quite and his mysterious style had added some points to my curiosity. I always have no interests in my local classmates btw, but his eyes really caught my attention. Lemme put it in a simpler way for you gys to get better view. Pernah tengok Haley Joel Osment dalam cerita 6th sense?

They've got similar eyes!
Well, he look just like Haley but in a cooler style. He doesn't smile much too.
That's the huge difference I shall say.
Haley looks sweet and friendly in this picture.

To cut the story short, we need to perform an acting in the class. Surprisingly, we were in the same group. I was happy and told my mom on the phone on my way back to my house. She was so astonished that she nearly dropped the phone and said. 

"Ya Allah ikaaa. kan mak dah cakap jangann"

Later, she continued with a dua:
"Ya Allah, biarlah anak aku ni kawin dengan orang Melayu"

I still remember it since I laughed so hard and I got teary myself. I found it so funny. My mom was very worried up to the extent whenever I mentioned about a white guy and told her he is quite good looking, she would went all anxious trying to make another dua for me. hehehe

Thanks mom. I appreciate it, since I went back to Malaysia all alone.

Just recently, as I worked so hard in the lab and seeking serenity from youtube, I stumbled upon a youtube channel which glorify back my desires haha! I mean this guy is so interesting! The 1st video I watched of him was about his adoption stories. A korean, who was adopted at a very young age in America. Well, he was originally born in Korea but raised in America. He looks like a pan-asian guy though. Most probably because he was raised in America well I don't know. It could be. Things that drives my fondness is about his personality when he looks like a mix-blood, his English is good, I don't know about his Korean though, but he sounds fluent to me haha, and his life story is quite interesting. When I heard about it, it feels like watching a korean drama that really exist haha. I subscribed his channel and ended up watching most of his video especially the mukbang. You know I am so into food, then oh why did you have so much videos about it T.T


Ps: He is actually an eye candy. hehe

That is how it goes to another youtube channel I subscribed! Well as for this one, she is originally from America, she was so keen of Korea because of the food at first and decided to migrate to Korea later on. When she reached Korea, she taught english for the kindergarten and started to build up her life in Korea from scratch! Waww, I like it seeing people who breaks the norm, going for a big thing in life and do not afraid to take risks. She is so bright and cheerful too. It makes me happy just to watch her. This is very inspiring though, Allah has created us people to know each other, remember? :')


Megan just know how to look happy! 

So what do I plan in the future for a better challenges and culture experiences?
Enrolling Japanese language course for the meantime. 
Applied for an English teacher vacancies in Japan after my masters degree. 

....Or adopting any Korean babies too? Aherher

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Recovered days

My energy is literally drained.

Been trying to grow my bacteria several times. Have been working for several weeks ever since I done my proposal defense. It turned out not that good though :( 
Sedihnya sebab bacteria susah nak hidup so I can't proceed performing DNA extraction. 

Another big program is coming soon. It's a massive program, really. 
I've been incharging with Registration Committee and I found it is not amusing at all, haha. Not my thing because the documentation turned out to be too technical. I keep on receiving texts from unknown number, and I did save 100+ participants telephone number and form nearly 8 whatsapp group just to follow up their registration fees. It took my whole morning just to do this. I do feel exhausted afterwards, lol. 

Yepp, 100% energy drained again.

Anyway, though things are quite difficult, Semai Mesra went all good alhamdulillah. Never missed the program for 4 years now, I could feel the happiness when I have to go back to the program. Of course, giving back to the society! Moga Allah redha dengan usaha ini.

Fave comrades and the best team ever since in Adelaide!

Also I received my 1st ever book that I am contributing to! hehe. Actually I am quite excited with the 1st book of my Down Under team. It is indeed a very high effort for our 1st book I reckon. The book is high in quality and I believe that everyone was trying their best to produce the book. All I can say that I am very proud of  the team! So if anyone is interested to buy this book you can directly contact me :)

The book cover. Book is not so thick but it is fully coloured and 
very beneficial iAllah. 

Some of the sneak peek of my writings :)

I submitted a few stories and I hope it would inspire everyone who reads it.

Although things get a lil bit difficult, still good things do happen hehe. This book really makes up my days back to be frank. I wish to write for the ummah more in the future. Let's create another history ahead syafiqa. Yosh!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

New Chapter


It is already past 3 days of the New year eve. To be frank I feel that 2016 was a plain year for me. Nothing outrages or nothing really bugged me like what I had in 2015. Super crazy year! Perhaps I encountered a total mess a year before that I've been blessed with calmness and serenity :) What have I been achieving so far last year? I can't see any actually. Okay lemme look back :

  1. Breaking the norm: A forum speaker in intec as an Isma activist. 
  2. Solo travelling in Japan for a week.
  3. Biggest attempt of my road trip in Malaysia, lol - Driving for a week ; Perak-Terengganu-Johor-Terengganu-Perak
  4. Sabah gateaway! Exploring Sabah with my dad
  5. Snorkeling experience in Pulau Bidong 
  6. Successfully enrolled myself as a Master Student and had defended my proposal!
  7. Attended my graduation ceremony in Adelaide, South Australia
  8. Swimming and gym (Tak istiqamah! Okay, let's carry forward)
  9. Writing 3 articles in the compilation of Australian Seniors Book; Pitstop Down Under
2016 was more to a warming up years of me after settling down in Malaysia and be back for good though I can't completely move on from Adelaide yet hehe. I guess this year is gonna be a lot more challenging for me. It's gonna be a great battle I bet. It's time for my master's time; publishing paper, attending conference and much much more. Please pray for me. Another 1 and a half year to go :D

"A kick start of my 2017. Starting off my 1st week as an 
invited speaker in this pre-departure programme.
So please pray for my fluency. With this I hope I can 
share my experience as much as I could in 
the survival of a woman and muslim"