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Thursday, December 31, 2015

Jiwa & hati baru

Assalamualaikum everyone :)
I hope things are well for everyone. Lama kan tak update blog? Lama sangat rasa tak jadi jemah membebel sorang sorang kat sini lol. Sian jemah tak pasal nama dia up, heh.

To tell everyone the truth, right after my final exams, a day after that, dad came to visit. Yeay abah dah sampai adelaide :D I was happy tapi tak sangka pulak abah makan banyak gila, tak henti henti dia nak makan je. Dah nama pun student, mmg ikat perut lah jawabnya. Sehari makan sekali je main meal yang lain tu semua makan jajan. hahaha. Dah tu kena after exam, lagi lah kurang makan. Terkejut kejap bila abah asyik nak makan, so masak byk gila dalam 2 weeks tu. Tu pun abah kata dia tak puas makan. haha. Mana nk sama makan kt aussie dgn mesia. Reason dia, bila sejuk, lapar. Padahal masa tu dah spring dah hewhew. Agaknya kalau waktu winter lagi teruk lah syndrome abah ni.

2015 was full of research, assignments, presentations not to forget tarbiyah. It was a productive year I reckon, alhamdulillah. I began to know lots of things and tried many things. Completed most of my 2015 check list alhamdulillah except for going to a gym! So next year kena renew balik azam tahun ni. hehe. 2016 is another challenge for me. I'm done with my degree dah. Terima kasih buat yang sentiasa mendoakan, sentiasa igt tarikh exam dan wish setiap kali exam espc orang yang jauh dok nun di Spain. Hehe. Sorry, I tend to forget your important dates ;/ had no intention but anyways I wish you to have a great one :)

So IAllah I'll be starting my new year tomorrow with something good going on. A pre-departure programme & lepas tu straight program sampai 12hb. Moga moga permulaan tahun baru yang baik leads to a good 2016 :)

So Wan Syafiqa kena ada jiwa & hati yang baru tau. Tak boleh malas malas. Kalau futur sebab tak dijaga rapi mcm kat adelaide, biarlah sekejap je benda tu. Sado sikit hati tu k. Awak tak mcm orang lain, punya ibu bapa, awak ada abah je sekarang. Jangan nak mengada sedih ke apa kalau abah tak dapat nk hantar kt campus in first day of masters, bus kan ada. Abah has done so much so berkorban skit angkat beg berat2, panas2 skit dan jgn nk touching kalau abah tak call. Awak yg call abah dulu k. Lepasni kena sign up for gym. Wan Syafiqa kena sihat. Be more beneficial to people. Get your blog with pages on travelog and some recipes you've made :) Give more, expect less. Read oftens espc buku buku fikrah and please remember important dates. Get yourself a planner! Kena jaga masa, be punctual and be proactive. Reply people texts, respond on group whatsapp if ada apa2 program. Never give up anything. Andd...do not fall for anyone.

Welcome 2016. I hope 2016 is a beautiful year :)
You can do this. Yosh!

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Doakan, please!

Well, exam is coming.

Less than 3 weeks from now. But I'm still stumbled upon on lots of things. Second semester of Adelaide Uni is always different. We only had hectic 12 weeks which drive everyone insane. So I have my final submission this coming Monday, and another big test this coming Friday. The test which determines my overall grade for this semester. Adelaide is getting hotter since spring is coming. And Jacarandas are start blooming everywhere means that exam is approaching you! 

6th Nov - Integrated Physiology 
10th Nov- Biochemistry 
17th Nov - Microbiology

I'm writing with the hope that people who is currently ready would pray for my exam. This is just my last semester. I just need to pass this and then I'm done! Moga Allah mudahkan, moga Allah beri yang terbaik. Doakan ya :)

Monday, October 5, 2015

You should read this 5 days ago.

This post should be written 5 days ago.
Not tonight. But I was so exhausted that I slept like crazy and had an unstable emotions-girl-things. lol. 

So I was expecting a one or two days delay but it happened to arrive right on that day. I thought that I would forgot your birthday like I used to do years ago but this time I remember it 3 weeks ahead -.-' 

I never give you something for nothing. Even if it's meant to be the last gift from me, I hope that at least you are left with the most precious thing a Muslim ever received. I tagged some of my fave verse hoping that it will give you some spirit boosters when days aren't on your side. Happy Belated Birthday, you. Semoga menjadi anak, khalifah, ummat yang soleh & yeah...to the one who deserved you the most too. I'm hoping the very best of you. Please take care & read it often. 

Well, you know who you are. 

.WanSyafiqaMeorHissan.  

Monday, September 14, 2015

So He is married.

I don't know if it's just me, but when you have that 'so called' history with a certain people and they get married...you just feel different. 

Well when I think it back, I feel a little bit funny and odd. Don't get me wrong. I never blame on you on things happened almost 4 years ago. In fact, at least I am happy because you really chose the right person. And if and only if we just stick together now, times might be wasted because we are not meant for each other after all. When I received your invitation a month before, I'm sorry. I declined. Honestly I was confused. I don't know how to react. haha. yes, I just don't know. I realized that marriage is actually a serious matter for us at this age really. While I'm still waiting for my prince charming who lost his way, you've found one. Tabarakallah. 

Deep down inside, I just want to congratulate you. But there is something inside me refrained me from doing that. Please know I am happy for you. Please know, I declined because it feels wrong to keep in touch with someone like you. Please know that I don't feel anything now. I just feel strange, that's all :)

So, you are a married guy now. And congrats!


Thursday, September 3, 2015

How do I save?

Assalamualaikum

Aku ni jenis yang suka pakai barang lama lama. Kira macam selagi benda tu tak rosak, selagi tu aku pakai. Dan. Aku jenis yang tak berapa suka mempelbagaikan collection aku. Haha lol, Maksudnya disini, aku akan jadi sedih kalau aku beli barang tu tapi aku langsung tak guna, so bagi mengelakkan timbul rasa rasa yang kurang enak tu, I choose to just stick to one thing. Kotak pensil aku sekarang ialah kotak pensil zaman sekolah men aku, masa aku tingkatan 4. Seluar dan baju kurung pun, dari form 3, okay ni maybe sebab aku yang tak besar besar kot. haha. Lepastu kan aku ada satu habit, kalau aku shopping, dia jadi lama sebab aku susah nak berkenan dengan sesuatu. Tapi kalau sekali aku masuk kedai tu and aku dah berkenan kat something laju jelah sebenarnya. hehe. Cuma nak tunggu yang betul betul berkenannn tu je yang amik masa skit. huahua. So aku jadi macam malas nak shopping sangat sebab aku tahu benda ni makan masa aku, unless kalau aku jenjalan tiba tiba ternampak sesuatu yang menarik perhatian. Frankly, I am not even good at managing money. I mean I don't have any rigid strategies pun for this. This is just the way how I'm dealing with mine :) So, through out my years yang aku pegang duit sendiri ni, these are my experiences.

1) Belajar bersyukur & menghargai
Okay aku admit, aku ni memang jenis yang sentimental value dia tu tinggi sikit. So semua benda yang orang bagi memang aku pakai. Sebab aku ada rasa yang kalau aku pakai benda ni mesti orang tu akan gembira. :D Sampaikan housemate aku tanya, "Wan! aku rasa semua benda yang kau pakai sekarang bukan barang kau, semua orang bagi" sambil buat muka -..- Hm, aku tengok ada a few kawan aku yang mcm jenis beg dorang ada. But I'll just carry the same bag around my campus, sampai semua orang sedia maklum yang beg itu aku punya. That's because I bought the backpack with my mom. And I wanted to feel that she's with me everywhere I go. I even carry a black umbrella during this rainy-transition-spring day. It's because it was given by someone I consider as 'someone-I-care' haha. Well, i think when you owning something that you basically has the reason why it's meant to be for you, you tend to be more appreciative and more grateful. Jadinya korang akan jaga everything dengan baik :)  

2) Beli apa yang perlu sahaja
Aku selalu ingat mak pesan yang kita bukan orang senang, so bila beli barang kena lah ada percaturan sikit. Kita kena bijak berbelanja. Kalau berbelanja pun jangan ikut nafsu semata. So banyak je benda yang korang boleh cut down expenses korang sebenarnya. Kalau nk minum coffee, tak perlu kot pegi starbuck ke etc etc. Sekali sekala mungkin takpe. tapi jangan jadikan cara hidup korang. Dan ingatlah starbuck tu agent israel tau. haaa. Boycott! Mcd pon. hehe. Kadang kadang aku rasa online shopping ni pun bahaya jugak. Tendency nk shopping macam2 tu senang je. Tak salah nk online shopping, tapi beli apa yang perlu sahaja okay :)

3) Masak kat rumah 
Since aku duduk kat Adelaide ni, ya memang memasak kat rumah tu membawa banyak kebaikan. haha. Just imagine, kalau nak makan mee goreng lah konon, beli kat warong around rudle mall tu dah $10 gituh, kalau masak kat rumah, beli mee kuning sekilo baru $4 cmtu, cuma kau kena ada effort skit lah nk menggoreng. bukan sepinggan tau, tapi sekilo, satu rumah pun boleh makan. Kadang tu jemput kawan kawan lain pun cukup lagi. haa kan dah bersedekah dah. Selalunya kalau aku craving2 ni, aku akan masak sendiri and share dengan housemate. I enjoy cooking so suka je kasi orang makan. Jadi kepada bakal suami, kalau saya suri rumah nanti saya rasa awak memang gemuk nanti :P

4) Bersedekah 
Yes. Sedekah ni simple je. Kadang2 kalau aku beli something kat orang kalau setakat $2 cmtu aku tak claim pun. Malas satu dan nkkan pahala juga :) Dan aku suka masak bebanyak di saat aku craving dan call semua orang suruh datang rumah tapau. lol. I experienced the power of sedekah quite a few times. And at that time I feel like Allah has just grant his promise and exactly at that time I feel like somebody is always watching me, and He actually cares. Aku ingat lagi masa aku dalam keadaan yang ekonomi kurang stabil masa mak sakit tahun lepas. MashaAllah masa tu sungguh rasa sangat di bantu dan dipermudahkan. Balik msia sampai 3x weh tahun lepas. huhu. But still, yea Allah is the giver, He is Arrahman. Sampai sekarang masih terasa how amazing it could be. 

5) Guna duit ke jalan yang lurus
Haha kayh. Korang kena selalu fikir mana baik mana buruk. Dan setiap perkara yang kita buat, dan decision yang kita buat tu kita kena fikir, Allah kasi tak kita buat ni. Allah redha tak? Jangan melagha dengan duit yang kita ada tu, tak kisahlah awak sponsor student ke tidak. Pemberi rezeki itu dia. Bila bila je dia boleh amik duit kita. Bila bila kita boleh turun muflis. Dan rezeki yang kita dapat tu kita nakkan keberkatan, sebab tu it is all depends on how you are using your money. Dan indikator keberkatan rezeki/duit kita tuuu = sedikit itu cukup, banyakkan boleh diagih-agihkan. Manakala rezeki yang tidak berkat, sedikitnya tidak cukup, banyaknya tidak puas. Rezeki yang tidak berkat umpama minum air laut, semakin diminum semakin haus! okay peeps, think dan muhasabah. 

6) Side income
Okay, sekarang ni aku dan berbussiness dan kerja hantar catalogue pagi pagi kat rumah orang. Kbye. 
*malu nk cerita* haha

So yeah, this is just my way on dealing with my money. The money I received is not completely my money. I feel bad if I'm not using it in a good way. So please sponsorship student, mind who's money you are actually using. Jangan marah marah hanya tunding jari dekat orang lain, tapi duit yang awak dapat, awak guna juga untuk kepentingan diri awak sendiri jugak. Guna untuk kepuasan awak sahaja. Carilah keberkatan dalam rezeki tu. Laburkan duit yang awak ada tu ke arah kebaikan. Laburkan kepada Dia, maha pencipta. Hadirkan diri awak untuk program yang baik baik. Luangkan sedikit utk saudara kat palestin dan banyak lagi. Jangan hanya semata beli game, beli tiket wayang etc etc okay. Ya, saya ikhlas. Saya nak awak saving bukan untuk dunia sahaja tapi untuk yang paling penting, akhirat nanti :)

Friday, August 28, 2015

I am a happy Aunty :)

Assalamualaikum 

Aku ni dari kecik memang suka kan budak budak. So dulu masa arwah mak ada, mak selalu cerita yang kalau pegi memana bila nampak ada baby, mesti aku akan duduk tepi baby tu dan melangut je kt baby tu tepuk tepuk suruh dia tidur. Haa penyayang tak aku? luls, Sampai sekarang memang aku antara sisters yang suka melayan kerenah anak anak seniors kat Adelaide ni. Though kadang kadang tu  bila kita tension, memang tahan jugak lah bila ada yang menjerit-jerit buat perangai dorang tu naik la jugak suara. Sampai ada budak ni panggil kita 'ye, acik cantik' sebab tak nak dengar bebelan. Okay la. Sejuk sikit hati acik lepastu. kah kah. 

So bila dapat tahu yang kak ngah dah 39 weeks of her pregnancy, I was so excited. Hari hari bising kat group tu bila baby nak keluar. hihi. My kakak opa, aufa maisarah pun selalu jugak lah kiteorang video call sesama tapi opa selalu buat tak layan je kat aku. Mungkin sebab takde skin contact lagi kot. Gigih la abang aku selalu buat video call sama sama sebab nak opa kenal makcik dia yang sorang ni duduk jauh kt peratauan. Tapi setiap kali kak long lalu, mesti perhatian opa beralih kepada mama dia. Aku punn haihh si opa ni, ugut taknak beli baju sejuk opa masa kat jepun nanti. haha. Tapi yer la, opa baru 9 bulan, ntah dia tahu ke tak apa yang dia tengok kat skrin telepon abah dia tu. Ntah dia tahu ke tak, yang orang yang dalam video call tu is actually a human. Kot kot dia ingat kartun yang cuba menghiburkan diri dia tapi malangnya dia tak terhibur pun, tu yang suka buat muka bosan je bila aku facetime dengan dia. -....- haila si opa, dalam gambor suka buat muka comel. Mata dah sepet, rambut terpacak. Along pun satu, suka bagi dia pakai jersey chelsea. Mana orang ingat dia lelaki. 

Wan Aufa Maisarah bt Meor Sujairi
Opa with skirts, baru nampak gegirl sikit :')

Well, 6 days ago. Kak ngah aku pun melahirkan baby yang comel at 24th August 2015! Actually 2 3 hari sebelum tu kak ngah dah whatsapp mintak tolong doakan dia nak deliver baby. Debor jugak la rasa. Dia bagi tahu dia dah sakit sakit sampai teroyok teroyok (baca:menangis) sebab tak tahan. Dan minggu lepas aku pulak cramp dengan preparation untuk presentation at 24th August tu jugak. So masa tu apa pun message yang masuk memang aku tak layan dah la. Nak present tu aku tak kisah sangat tapi research paper yang dia bagi kitaorang tu mashaAllah memang susah betol. So aku mengalami kemurungan yang bersifat duduk di uni pepagi sambil practise dan revise presentation tu sorang sorang. Dari pagi sampai pukul 3pm, right after tute. tiba tiba dapat message masuk abang ngah sent an image written "assalamualaikum semua" a very cute baby now has seen the world! yeayy. Alhamdulillah. Mommy and baby pun sihat.

Muhammad Al-Fateh bin Mohd Firdaus
A very healthy and strong boy! :)
And yes, I'm a happy aunty.

"Dear opa & al fateh, 
Your aunties are very happy. 
You put smile on every face that has seen you.
Welcome to the world dear lil caliphs. 
Please be the tickets for your mommy and daddy to enter the Jannah.
And please wait till I come back. 
I love you and will always love both of you so much"

With Love from Adelaide,
Makcik ita.


P/s: harap awak tak join bersih hari ni.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Testimoni Biomedical Sc

Hai :)

Today is my laid back day! yeayyy. hehehehe :]
Hari ni buat julung2 kalinya after 3weeks of uni, dapat berbaring di atas katil sambil menikmati gloomy cloudy day dalam bilik sensorang dari tenghari sampai maghrib ni. Haaa. Kau hengatt senang nk dapat free day gini? hih. What an achievement, lol.

This final semester is a critical point for me. Yes, memang banyak sangat bebel dalam blog ni mengadu macam macam. Tapi rasa macam essential kot bebelan ni. Biar tenang sikit haha. Well, after going through such intensive practical for almost 3 years, I finally realized that I actually enjoy myself doing lab work. No doubt, tengok. Haa kan dah tahu kenapa kena hantar kat sini, kenapa belajar biomedic :) Yes, tough beb course ni. Tak tipu. Kalau kat sini, awal awal lagi kteorang dah kena train dengan banyak research and reading, dan presentation dari first year lagi. Makin lama, makin ter-exposed dengan banyak sangat disease yang masih mencari cure. Disease yang masih tak tahu lagi dari mana datang asal usul dia. Kira macam disease yang rare, and newly emerged bacteria lah senang kata! Makin lama makin aku tahu dah, kenapa dulu lecturer pompang-pompang cakap dekat depan lecture hall tu, kalau nak buat drugs brapa phase kenal lalu. Berapa tahun kena tunggu bagai, sampai that certain drugs boleh qualified and found that it is save to consume. Now I understand that we were trained to be a future-scientist! Hah, cool kan? bhahaha. Dulu cita cita aku nak jadi cikgu English je dari sekolah rendah, lepastu sekarang dah berubah 360degree, ya nak jadi scientist dah. Nak teruskan research, dan teruskan lab work. Gigih. Nak cari cure untuk penyakit mak. IAllah.

Okaylah.
So this time nak cerita skit what is biomedical sc as general. Kalau orang tanya nanti habis kerja apa, selalu tak reti nak jawab -..- basically, kteorang akan kerja dalam lab sbb course ni byk involve in human and disease. As if korang digging info on lotss of things and invent vaccine kee. After all, kalau korang mmg suka research and being an academical stuffs, this is exactly what you are looking for! Dan bila orang tanya apa beza biotech and biomedical sc pun sama, rasa mcm ni -..- hm, kalau biotech pulak is quite in a broad area. basically they are working with livin things like bacteria and utilize them to make vaccine ke hape ke for cure. Basically they are dealing with some tech to look for vaccines etc. Most of us yang enrol in bachelor of sc semua akan pergi ke kelas yang sama but we have different approach in tute lah normally. Student biomed tak habis presentation je manjang, Yang membezakan kteorang is major masing masing :) And korang pun boleh pursue medic after 3 years degree. Actually aku pun baru tahu yang 90% of ppl enrolled in this course are targetting for medicine which aku rasa aku je kot noob dalam dalam sphere dorang tu aku geleng2 kepala taknak medic. Patut lah kome kome ni pandei bebenor T_T

Hari hari yang akan mendatang gonna tests me quite a big.
Teruskan semangat ye Wan Syafiqa =D

so yeah, till then.
toodles

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Beraya dengan tenang.

Hai peeps!

Salam Aidilfitri :)
Alhamdulillah.. tahun ni dapat beraya dengan tenang. Because I passed all my 3rd year subject yang susah bangett tu. Alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah. Tak tahu nk express rasa terharu tu mcm mana. Allah kata dia tolong, sungguh memang betul Dia tolong :) Haihh debor gila sbb result keluar sehari sebelum raya. Punya lah tak dapat tdur sampai bawak ke mimpi mimpi. Rare tau kalau kita tak dapat tidur. Bila dah tahap tidur tak lena, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah tu memang itu tgh kerisauan yang memuncak. Kesian kak mas, asyik dengar kita membebel sensorang risau exam punya pasal sambil buat kuih. haha!

Well, anyway. I thought of updating my blog right after my exam finished. But since its during ramadhan, I tend to sleep early right after terawih prayer because I wanna get up early in the morning. So ada lah satu malam ni free before my winter roadtrip. Tapi hmpph, terbongkang atas katil awal gila sebab penat sangat exam dah all out kan -.-' 

Okay, dah. 

Actually, this might be my last eid in Adelaide. If ada rezeki & diberi peluang sambung kat sini, iAllah another eid. hehe. Tapi might be the last eid with my beloved akhwat & rakan se-batch kot. Sad right :( I'm so gonna miss this place if I had to leave it one day. But this year, raya rasa sungguh mcm kt msia. So takdelah homesick sgt except for the part yang bila dapat makan lemang instant semua orang excited lebih lol. Can you imagine kteorg excited for just an instant lemang? nasib student oversea cenggini ahh. Ingat student oversea suka jalan2 je? kteorang ada mental torture kot. Tambah2 lagi bila raya time sejuk. Serius weh, adelaide tahun ni sejuk sangattt. T.T pagi pagi 2 @ 3 degree tu biasa. Gigih je semua orang tahan diri dari pakai heater. haha. 

So...sehari before raya tu sibuk sikit. phone tak tgk langsung, Marathon tilawah sampai khatam dalam bus hewhew. Jadi runner pulak pegi beli barang raya nak rewang2 malam tu sbb driver kt adelaide ni dah berkurang since semua balik msia. Kak imah dah masak masak kt dapur kita jelah yang  bole drive. Ntah brapa kali ulang alik asian groceries sampai cashier tu ckp "you come again?", "yes" -..- dan lepas takbir main bunga api! Tapi aku tgk jelah, tak feel sangat sbb jarang main bunga api dari kecik. Malam tu, kteorang rumah shipster tdur pkul 3am. Gigih gila buat mee laksam dia. Even though, tu first time buat, tapi alhamdulillah jadi & laksam tu lembut. yeayyy :)) berapa kali tah aku ulang mlm tu mintak yang tolonglah bakal mak mertua tgk usaha menantu awak ni prepare time time raya cenggini punya semangat sampai terkebil-kebil dah mata tunggu tdur lol.

Day after day, jemputan open house je manjang. dari aku yang turun berat sampai berkilo2, lepas raya mcm naik balik je. Hahaha. a few days jugak lah kteorang tak masak. Dok pegi rumah orang je. Beraya pun sampai malam hah. Punya nk feel mcm msia siap ada satu hari ni, kteorang baring ramai2 depan tv sambil mulut tak henti kritikkk acara lumba basikal. kah kah kah. Tapi alhamdulillah, tahun ni ialah raya yang ada ruh skit. Tenang mashaAllah. Mungkin hasil ramdhan yang juga punya iman dan ruh serta diuji dengan pelbagai dugaan untuk menguatkan hubungan kita dengan Dia.

My 5th raya shoot.
Allah, thank you.
&
Iloveyou

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Officially 22 years old

Assalamualaikum peeps.
Alhamdulillah, I'm a big girl now.
Nothing much happened. It was a bit gloomy at first. Dad didn't call. Mom, of course. Well, since it was a special day, I awarded myself a treat. So belilah steak and cafe latte, eat them alone and headed back to home since khamis malam tu liqa' last kt rumah naqibah saya. With no expectations, indeed received a birthday cake! And a warm night attire as a birthday gift. Jazakumullahu khair. That's really cute and sweet :) And balik balik rumah je, housemate serang dengan tepung. Haha. Berpakaian hitam itu kemas, dah dikotori dengan putih itu tepung. lol Nice birthday prank sisters. -..-

But after all, your birthday should be your reflection day right. Bila fikir2 balik. Been 22 years now. But what have you done so far? Kalau nk diikutkan, kenal pencipta pun masih merangkak2. Juga, makin bertambah umur, makin dekat dengan mati. However, the most special thing during this day was, I received a lot of prayers. Very beautiful prayer! Ada yang mendoakan untuk kekal comel, berjaya dunia akhirat, panjang umur,  murah rezeki etc. Mudah mudahan malaikat juga mendoakan apa yang kamu doakan untuk saya untuk awak jugak. IAllah. Moga Allah redha :)


'Well, Adelaide hit its coldest weather on my birthday.
It was frosty.
 It was 3 degree Celsius'

11.6.2015
Officially 22 years old.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Well-recovered


Here It goes Again. 
I fall sick for nearly a week! 

Just look at how much drugs went through me this 5 days!

After 2 weeks yang sangat hectic. Busynye mashaAllah wehh. Sampai tak perasan pun diri ni dah tak boleh nk terima more workloads. Once dah sakit barulahh perasan yang I'm using my own self more than it can resist. Nasib baik right after symposium je sakit. Tak tahu nak kata headache dia mcm migraine hah. Well, transitions to winter really gets me. Tahun lepas pun sama -,-' Tapi, kata hawa. Final year mmg kena kuat, Wan. Kalau  orang lain boleh, kita pun boleh. Cloning DNA lah kita, tests lah, poster lah, final year project lah. *so sad* But I'm glad that sakit sekarang. Jangan time exam nanti. Ye, betul. Saya luar kuat tapi dalam memang cepat sakit. That nagging still feel alive, though. I have few weeks more to exam. People please keep pray for me. This time, I feel more nervous than before. Perhaps, it well determines your grade and degree. I'm sure gonna work out harder.

"Deep down inside,
the feeling of wanting to know how he's been doing passes 
through my mind several times.
Well. Maybe he is busy.
There's always choices.
And I choose not to hurt myself"


Semoga sibukmu dan sibukku adalah sibuk yang baik, 
yang mendekatkan rezeki yang baik, 
yang mampu membuat Tuhan percaya kita berjuang
di jalan yang baik.
Moga Allah mudahkan urusan.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Self, keep on running. Don't stop.

Hai.

Final year bukan masa nak main main lagi. Sungguh,

Wan Syafiqa. Get rid of the things which bother you from getting on your aim!

Aim tahun ni nak grad & lulus semua subjek dengan cemerlang, gemilang & terbilang!
Hah, gitu.
Tegas sikit. Kuat semangat sikit.
Jangan cepat nangis.
Jangat cepat terganggu.
Jangan fikir pasal kawin.
Orang cakap pasal kawin, ajak kawin ke apa ke, lari laju laju.

Jangan cepat menangis ingat mak, tapi cepat cepat angkat tangan doa mintak Allah ampunkan dosa mak. Makin gencar sampaikan islam dan makin berlari menjadi dai'e. Sebab nak jadi anak solehah. Nak bagi mak hadiah terbaik.

Jangan cepat menangis dan bersedih ingat abah, tapi sentiasa ingat abah sangat sayang anak anak dia. Abah tak selamanya muda, abah tak selamanya kuat. Dan aku tak selamanya nak jaga abah. Doa untuk abah selalu.


Dan, untuk kamu.
Stop bothering me with things like photos bagai. Makin tak faham apa motif. You picked up the wrong time, really. Just. Back off. Kamu rupanya bukan seperti yang disangka, senang di-ajak berjumpa dengan mana-mana perempuan, senang jugak di-ajak selfie dengan mana-mana perempuan. Mana juga nilai kamu sebagai lelaki mahal?
I don't want to think bad and tried to keep on the positive thoughts on you because I thought, I knew who you are. And yes, I was wrong.
You're cheap.

Lina, kau tanya hati aku okay ke tak kan?
Tak. Tak okay.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

May the 3rd.

Hello peeps.

Dah lama sangat rasa nk update blog but my life here gets so busy. Literally, no weekends. If only there is extra 24hours in a week. *sigh*

7 years ago, yesterday was one of my special day to be remembered. If that stays, I wouldn't ask for any other things to be near you. But sadly, it gets crashed and destroyed every single time when I tried to fix and rebuild back the bond. 

Well, I wouldn't want to hold that request for any longer either. Indeed I think I captured a moment when I received it, but numerous wild thoughts keep on running inside me. Thought that I would be responding it on the right time, it was being cancelled. Missile was shooting me, yes right at that part.

Hey me, 
Happy Anniversary. For holding the feeling and this certainty for too long.
:)

Don't keep on falling Syafiqa. Get up. 

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Autumn :)

Hai.

Lama sangat tak post kat sini. 6th week of uni was full of assignments due, literature review dengan test. 2 weeks tak sempat nk express rasa kat sini which I think sometimes writing does make my day. hehe. My 1st week of autumn break has just passed. Alhamdulillah terisi dengan baik. 3 days with no internet connection sbb stranded kt murray river. Autumn Gathering this year is such a bless! 3 days lagi daurah, mabit and daurah lagi. The rest of the days in that week byk urusan kan program & baca bahan untuk pengisian. Penat skit, but if only life is a game, kat dunia ni lah kita nk kumpul bebanyak points untuk kita topup mata kita kt akhirat nanti. Kerana ingin Rasulullah mengaku umat, so iAllah ingin kekal istiqamah menyampaikan syahadah & kebenaran. Juga nak hadiahkan & kirimkan mak dekat 'sana' pahala sebab dia berjaya membuat pelaburan yang baik. Mak, please know I'm trying hard to make you feel ease there, please know that I love you so much till I want you to always feel good and receive something masa kat sana. Rehat baik baik ye mak dekat sana lepas 58 tahun kt dunia. Anakmu ini sentiasa merindui dan mendoakan dari jauh :)


Last Autumn in Adelaide
University of Adelaide, 2015.

"When things are good in my life, everything looks like a picture.
When things are bad in my life, nothing looks like a picture.
When I met him, I was taking one hundred or two hundred  photographs per day.
Now that he left, I'm only taking one or two photographs per day
"

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Sabar.Relaks

Hai assalamualaikum.

I've been questioning myself lately. Sampai bila Wan Syafiqa? Sampai bila nak simpan rasa ni?

But on the other side of me, suruh bertahan. Bertahan sampai tuhan kata, memang bukan dia orangnya.

So, chill :)

Friday, March 27, 2015

Missing you, flashmob.

Assalamualaikum readers.

Yeayy alhamdulillah. Manage to reach sampai 4th week of uni.
4th week of uni rasa macam 4 months. Lecture non-stop. tambah tambah microbiology.
Macam macam bacteria belajar lepastu tak sangka pulak bacteria yg kecik sebeso kuman tu byk betul structure dia kena ingat -__-

So everyone, I am majoring in phyiology and microbiologyyy. hehe
Actually rasa macam best je those two subject. Cuma kita je complain banyak. hehe *monyettutupmata*
I'm learning about human and bacteria. Two different species but related to each other so much. So during fouth week ni, kita ada 2 tests. Biochem and physio. For the 1st time in my life, rasa confident je jawab biochem and kertas biochem tu penuh dengan jawapan masa test lol. But on the other side my physio rasa horrible gila. Lepastu rasa demotivated sbb penat sangat study, tapi bila mai kertas soalan rasa mcm lecturer tak pernah ajar pun semua benda benda tuuu :( Andrea Yool, why are you being so harsh? bukan kita je kata, tapi semua classmate hokay T_T
Lepastu lab yang dengan abg abg sado tu punn. sampai skrang rasa awkward when new guy members keep on coming. So pretty much i'm in the soccer club i guess :/ pakcik pakcik please give me good peer assessment grading okay. Bukan taknak cakap dengan awak awak semua, tapi kita taknak dongak2 and rasa mcm giant & little dwarf je hahaha.

Anyway, sekarang serius rasa mcm nak balik je akhir tahun ni. Dah contact kpt, kpt maybe akan tanggung fees only  for masters. most probably sambung kt um/ukm iAllah tahun depan. Mohon doa ye semuaa. Kalau uni baik hati nk sponsor saya pun apa salahnya heee :) Okay well actually nk cerita pasal ni, I came across something yang truly mcm break the ice skit deep down inside. Konon nak jadi tough at heart le, tapi ttbe that current feeling datang balik wehh.

klik this link bawah ni :

Malaysia Airlines 'Missing You' Flashmob at KLIA

Lepastu terfikir ada tak orang nk sambut kita back for good mcm tu? Bhahaha. Anyway, the feeling of meeting someone you miss from abroad really is something. Happy dia tu lainn, though rasa rasa nervous nervous masa nk turun flight tapi knowing someone is waiting for you, penat naik flight pun tak rasa dah sebab in your mind nk jumpa jee. lol. Well, that flashmob brings me back to song released during 2002 - Akan datang. Indescribable one.

I think I never told you this, but each time knowing that you are sending me off and waiting for me. I know that I've been waiting for those times too...

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Still into you.

Hi

This song catch up my attention these few days. Pretty much it sums up everything.
I'm driven away with the lyrics and beats. It gets quite different with the original version but this sounds so soothing.

"I should be over all the butterfly, but I'm into you.
Baby even in the worst night, I'm into you.

After all this time, I'm still into you."

By any chance you open up my blog.
This is for you.

Still into you :)


Sunday, March 8, 2015

When I say, I want to stay fit...

Hai

Sekarang baru habis satu minggu kelas of my sem 1 of final year. Alhamdulillah on track. So dalam masa masa ni banyak lah introductions. Not just intro to lecture je but to the people as well sebab kita dah kena assign for placement untuk physio and 2 days in lab for microbiology. So in total, ada 2 research studies throughout the year. Mak aihh, semput dia tuhan je yang tahu. Hari ni tengah tengah sapu lotion depan ain, ain tegur dah makin kurus. see, hebat tak kita bekerja a month kt adelaide ni plus my week 1 uni dah kekurusan begini. :P Timetable mmg tak boleh nk heaven sangat lah. Sampai sekarang ni tak sempat nk lunch pun. But i've made a promise to myself yang i need to stay healthy & never skip meals so my best companion right now is fruits! So bila ada transition kelas, sambil berjalan tu sambil tu lah kita makan buah. Nampak busy and. Nampak final year student sangatt. LOL.

T food lover wan syafiqa needs to keep fit too! So my aim and target hujung tahun ni :

PANDAI BERENANG
AT THE END OF 2015
HAHAHA

Okay, sila gelak kuat kuat -__- 

Since ramai adik adik freshie yang baru sampai kt adelaide ni, so ada a few students yang stay at my home for temporary. So sebagai kakak yang baik dan bertanggungjawab, i went over searching and inspecting accommodation dengan dorang. A few tips kalau nak cari rumah kat adelaide ni, since student student semua duduk kat suburb and public transport dia mmg 'thumbs up' lah, kteorang akan cari tempat tempat yang tak jauh dengan city and reachable by bus around 15-20mins lah paling lama pun. rumah kena dekat dengan bus stop kalau nk senang bagai, hehe. So very luckily, bebudak ni dapat rumah yang besar gila mcmm mansion & tak mcm rumah student punn. Sudah lah fully furnished, landlord pun hati penuh nur. Baik betul. lepastu, rumah dorang ada swimming pool. and its quite close to my house. sebab azam tahun baru nk kekal sihat & fit, I choose to walk rather than take the bus. Sebab takdelah jauh sgt and adelaide skrnag pun dah makin sejuk sbb nk tukar musim luruh dah, So i dont mind walking. Best lah, every week datang rumah dorang swimming and dapat tutorial free lagi sebab ramai yang pandai swimming kt situ. Siap buat aqua aerobic bagai. Hahaha. enough on that. And I am happy lah. Mcm nk keep the good figure lah konon kan, I had the intention nak pegi gym, siap sembang dgn sister julie yang recommended me to have it a try kat all women gym around west area jugak. Dah mcm reconsider sbb its very interesting kan. Kot lah dapat concession price, discounted price lagi. Masa tu dah eksited dah. 

But then...

Masa prac physio, hatiku ini gelisah kembali,
Dengan happy happy bukak myuni nk check siapa group se-placement kitaa. Tetiba rasa pelik. Dah kenapa groupmates aku ni semua lelaki. Aku pun check facebook dorang since org puteh ni normally they choose to use their full name kt fb. first bukak page adam, oh kenal je dia ni sbb selalu terserempak dalam lecture. lepastu, bukak sorang mamat ni punya fb, dia ahli bina badan! he goes to gym gambar pun semua kt gymm je. okay  lah terima je. so i went over to the next guy, dia peninju. gambar menang match dalam ring berpagar tinggi! omg, masa tu dh nervous2 dah. pesal sado sado semua ni. next guy pulak trainer gym! T_T okayyyy. foine! masa tu dah fkir, topic apa kita amik nii... T_T 

okay now, its EXERCISE ON HUMAN PERFOMANCE. sweet.

Patutlah semuanya ber-muscular. T_T
On our first meeting...supervisor pun inform :

"Normally, we did a high risk cardiovascular perfomance"
Stunt kejap.
"But I think that's fine. I dont think I wanna do that this year"
Okay, relax skit :)
"But I guess, we can do a running up and walking intensively.
Maybe you can run on the treadmill and get 5000 steps"
*okay masa ni mcm dengar cerita seram. 

Apakah semua ini. And I am most likely to stay in the same topic sampai akhir tahun dengan groupmates itu? Maigaddd. On that day rasa mcm awkward gila sebab berbaju kurung and the only girl yang ada kt situ. sudah la kecik, rasa mcm dihimpit2 dengan mat salleh yang tinggi lagi besar. haha. Lepas ni every week, kena datang uni dengan sport attire bagai sebab wan syafiqa yang nk fit sangat nii dah tak payah pergi gym sbb ada intensive exercise kt uni dah lol. masa tu balik rumah dengan rasa redha & pasrah je. Okay, save duit dah. Boleh simpan duit nk pegi gym utk kawin. hehe =P

*Lepas ni boleh lah buat post pasal tips tips nk jadi sado* -.-'

Silent reader, doakan my placement and my lab work ya! I want to finish everything happily this year and return to Malaysia. :)

Cheers.


Monday, March 2, 2015

#Sigh1

It's really been a while since I'm not posting anything in this blog. I was just busy sorting out my life straight. Though I feel that my life is routing just not 360 degree yet, still it has changed, like um a bit? well yeah more than that i guess.

The toughest battle has just arrived today. Uni is starting and I feel so much energetic and fresh today. It just feel good to have my housemates and people who cares about me around. Though I still think and pray for that unsure things but I'm pretty sure by taking a break, bring things out which keep bugging me a few times is a good thing to do. Hard at first, but I'm getting used to it now. All I need to do is focusing more on my 3rd year and I need to finish everything by the end of this year! Keep your head up and never look down again. I'm going to keep myself a real-busy-healthy-me.

Please pray for me. I really need the weapon now :)

Silent readers,
more post will be on me talking and mumbling to my own self soon.
I just feel like expressing myself. um maybe 2 or 3 times a week or perhaps, everyday?
*sigh*

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

I don't want this anymore.

Peeps,

it hurts. it hurts on everywhere.

and this time, it hurts deeper.

I think I can't go on any further with him though he travels all the way long from melbourne.

I don't think I can handle him when this aching heart is still wounded.

So, without any doubts I called him up and tell him everything that I can't go on with him.

I feel sorry and appreciate the efforts but I'm sorry, it's really a no.

But still, I can't handle a guy who easily gets his heart fluctuating.

I can't handle a guy who keeps on feeling unsure about me.

It hurts knowing that he doesn't have feeling on me no more.

I'm going to stop everything now.

Having this kind of feeling is never pleasant & it somehow destroys you to the very bits.

But maybe it just happens to be that way.

So I'm gonna leave everything on Him.

"Dear Allah,

I know things are not going on well. I'm hurting myself over and over again.
I had tears as my best companions throughout the year. 
I'll be having a big day tomorrow but when my heart hurts, I hurt my head as well.
I can't think straight and I lose my appetite.
Though I've been through all this,
I know its a sign from you showing me your love,
Because every time I cried, my hopes and my prayer seems to get harder.
I believe and rely on you more.

O Allah, I want to meet a guy who loves me unconditionally. 
Who would always look at me and afraid that he would ever break my heart.
I want a guy who would not running away from misunderstanding and fixed everything for me.
I want to meet a guy who thinks about marriage, not someone for me to walk around and be happy.
I want a guy who says sorry when he does mistakes because,
a simple sorry works very well on me. 
After all, I need someone who wants to hold my hand and enter the Jannah together.

Allah, grant me patience!
I don't want to have any seconds thinking about this anymore.
I want to finish my final year so badly.
Keep me strong and firm going through this.

Please keep me on the track"

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The people I love are fading away

12.24 AM
*lights off, on the bed with quilt cover on me
*Summer just doesn't feel like summer

Peeps,
Things seem to not fall perfectly in their place. I enjoyed doing summer school but I wasn't able & eligible to take it anyway. And I was being informed at my 1st week of course, lepas buat presentation bagai & scored for high marks T_T  Okay lah, cut that out. But then there it comes, biochemistry is hitting on my way. So dengan bangganya I'm gonna face this sem dengan a year with biochemistry again. Kita dah balik Adelaide baru dapat tahu. Kalau tak dah lama duduk kat Malaysia lagi dan makan sate -__- My 1 month holiday was not a good one anyway. Now sadly, cari kerja tak jumpa kerja :( 

and things get harder now.

Because I feel like I have no support anymore. Bila mak dah takde, I just realized things get different slowly. Once I talked to my parents like 3-4days a week, but now I received no calls from my dad. They say, my dad is on the phone for almost every night. Yes, I am sad. Until now. It feels like, hilang tempat bergantung. And the one I always talked to, does not want to talk to me anymore. He seems to be different and I don't know what's going on him either. 

1) Mom has gone
2) Dad doesn't seem to care
3) He doesn't want to talk to me no more

Frankly, sungguh terasa diri ini sunyi. Buat awak yang membaca, jangan pernah samakan keluarga saya dan keluarga awak. Isu kita berbeza. Bersyukurlah awk masih punya ibu, tapi saya? kalau hilang ayah saya jugak? kat mana saya bergantung? Saya cuma ada awak untuk berkongsi. Disebabkan orang itu awak & bukan orang lain, saya beritahu awak apa yang saya fikirkan. Saya kongsi every single thoughts saya dengan awak. Awak kenal saya, dan saya kenal awak dah lama. Lama sangat. Niat hanya nak berkongsi rasa tapi it turns out to be wrong. Tak tahu mana silapnya kali ini. Kalau masih ada attitude yang sama, tak mustahil diri ini akan rasa tawar hati & annoyed. Hargai saya, sebelum orang lain datang dan hargai saya. Tindakan mendiamkan diri tanpa solusi is not a good thing. It somehow shows that you are not a man enough because you keep on running away. Kita selalu ada jalan utk berbincang, sort the things out, improve diri, work on what makes things get so awkward here. 

Pernah.

'Yang pernah merasa kehilangan pasti akan tahu
maksud sebenar menghargai,

dan kerana itu aku cuba merasa sebenar benar maksud
menghargai sebelum aku benar benar merasa kehilangan'

Monday, January 19, 2015

I don't meant it.

*Okay, sekarang ni rasa mcm nak cakap lepas je semua*
*Memang kena lepas, kalau tak rasa sakit hati lagi*

T_T 

Rasa macam nak keep it cool.
Rasa macam nak keep it down.
Tapi rupanya diri sendiri ni lelah jugak simpan sorang-sorang.
Semput jugak rasa bila perasaan ni dibiar terkontang-kanting mcm tu je. 
Bila rasa macam diri ni dah tak dipedulikan langsung.
At least, kalau tak nak jumpa, tak boleh ke bagi tahu awal awal?
I thought in really that fine morning, at least saya dapat text dari awak.
To tell the truth, I was expecting the answer sebelum malam. 
Tapi throughout the day, awak message mcm takde apa je. 
I'M LEAVING KOT.
I mean kalau taknak sangat pun boleh je kan mintak maaf elok2 send me text in the morning and tell me mungkin tak dapat datang ke hape. Seriously, rasa mcm time tu tah hape hape saya kena layan.
Rasa mcm orang bodoh pun ada. 
Rasa diperbodohkan sangat. 
Sekarang memang rasa sakit hati, bukan sedih dah.
Apalah sangat sakit hati awak yang sy tak sempat bfast dengan awak, dengan sakit hati sy yang awak layan saya mcm taik ni?
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
promises, trusts itu ini semua?
Amende semua tu?
Rasa mcm nak persoalkan semua tu jee.
Betul lah kira awk memang tak boleh harap?
Betul lah ni yang saya tak boleh percaya awk 100%?
Saya rasa mcm saya ni barang yang bila awk nak, awak amik.
Bila taknak, buat bodoh je la eh?
Rasa mcm menyesal sangat dapat perasaan yang mcm ni. Patutnya saya pun ada perasaan mcm awk. On off on off mcm tu je. Kan best? 
Saya dah taknak terima kesedihan lagi tahun ni. Tahun ni ingat nak mula hidup baru.
Nak cuba set all the things right. Tolong lah jangan destroy things balik!
Kalau boleh rasa mcm nak JERIT KUAT KUAT NAK LEPASKAN SEMUA.
Annoying gila ah perangai awk tu.
Jangan sampai saya give up & delete everything back.
Anyway, 
thank you for make me feel disappointed with you again!

ps: I just want to let everything out.
I don't ask anyone to bother.
And dear you, 
please don't believe anything I said.
Because I don't really meant it.


Wednesday, January 14, 2015

I lost my pakcik :(

Assalamualaikum peeps.

Alhamdulillah it's a bright and beautiful morning. Rasanya ber-blogging ialah tempat paling best nk luah semua benda. Though pagi ni pagi yang best untuk diri ni menghilangkan stress and bergembira at least. Diri ni rasa macam taknak lalu pun hari ni & hari hari yang akan datang. Sungguh dah berapa kali hati ni terguris kerana orang yang sama & perkara yang sama.  Jujur saya kata saya dah dapat rasa something wrong dgn awk quite lama sbnrnya. Start bila awk rasa taknak cakap dengan saya and all. But well yeah sometimes I though people need a break. Awak pesan untuk saya bersangka baik dengan awk, tapi how could I kalau things keep on going like this? :( Tipu kalau saya kata saya tak bersedih dengan apa yang cakap semalam. Tipu kalau saya kata sepanjang saya busy, kat kem tinggal awak kejap and all, saya lupa awk. Tipu kalau saya kata, saya tak terasa bila saya hantar text kat awk, awk read, seen tapi lambat reply because it is just so not you. Tipu jugak kalau sy tak terasa bila nk jumpa awak isnin tu awk kasi saya alasan nak hantar kereta lah apa lah, when in facts byk lagi hari lain yg awak boleh hantar. Semalam bila saya kata saya nak tdur at 10.30pm which saya tak ngantuk langsung sebab saya tak tahan nak hadap awk mcm tu. Lepas bagi tahu nk tdur, lajuu je jawab salam. Aduhaii, masa tu rasa sedih yang amat. Terus rasa mcm taknak tengok whatsapp langsung. Rasa mcm awk tgh tunggu je bila saya nk tidur. Its like replying my text is a burden to you. Saya tak tahu nk react apa dekat awk sbnrnya. I don't want to make things worse. I don't want to blame anyone.

Awak,
seeing you that one night really makes me happy. Rindu. Nak bagitahu sangat tapi bila ada conversation dengan awk, you seemed not interested. I was trying hard to make things okay, tapi lepastu makan dalam saya pulak. I used to scroll back you goodnight texts bila rindu. Masa awk panggil saya, when you get very excited when I texted you telling you I'm home, tak tinggal awak dah. When you get back after class @ work and started to tell me lots of things. Bila saya buat perangai habits saya tuu, sy dah tdur dulu and awak bagi tahu saya awk nk tdur dah. Receiving a very bright text saying morning :)

Tak tahu mana hilangnya pakcik saya dah :(
I hope this only continues in the meantime. Saya dah nak balik lusa. I'm not happy to leave Malaysia and you like this. Hati ini masih mengatakan awak. We've been through for 7 years and I still want to be with you on upcoming years.