I never tried to get his update or even view his profile in this time interval. I did not do it. As for today, I never intended to do so, but I received his photo from my friend who asked me whether he is the person we used to know. A picture of him in the badminton court, playing I reckoned. I verified and lose my mind lol.
It was disturbing, but the other part of me keep on viewing the picture over and over again.
I never thought these years of trying to recover myself, it actually brought a deep wound inside me and it is never 100% healed to my surprise.
Tipu lah kalau tak pernah wonder, how he's been doing lately. Tipu lah kalau tak rasa kita masih tunggu. Entah. I've been trying to rationalize my mind but my heart said the other way round. They do not sync at all.
If ever people asked me how it is felt. This is what I truly feel all these years.
Goodnight.
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