Where are you at?

Hi guys. 

I am currently trying to finish off my thesis correction for quite sometimes. I don't know what happen to me recently but it seems like I lost my motivation. 

I feel so burden and heavy trying to finish this. It's been nearly 20 days since my ptem but I just couldn't grasp myself back. I feel like talking and going for a sip of coffee. 

Well, I did but this burden does not go away. It stays and I don't know what to do. 

Maybe I need someone else who I can blurt everything out in the most comfortable way? I don't know. 

Mujahadah sangat ni dah kenapa? T.T

Anyway, I have a confession to make.

Okay dah boleh pasang lagu thousand years - Christina Perri hahahaha

Wait. yeah. I am serious. Turn that on now. 

Dah pasang? 

Well, here it is...

I chatted with someone who listened to me so well once upon a time. The last time that we keep in touch was on January 20th 2017. Ever since, I never heard about that particular person anymore. I was left hanging knowing nothing about his uni, face and his details. The only thing I knew was he is from Segamat, Johor and studied physics education in a local university. I am always curious about his where about because his timing is always different. I woke at 5am having my sahur on my Monday and Thursday puasa routine but I would always found him actively online. One big fact that I would always remember was him telling me couples of times that he did not want to fall for anyone. But to tell you the truth, I did several times. Although we were sort of like just talking about life, virtually. But I am glad that it didn't became a big thing though since somehow he could be so comforting at times. I remember him picking a maroon abaya over the purple one coz he said I might look better in maroon. I did not manage to buy it because it was out of stock, but then I picked a maroon blouse when I attended a conference in Johor last time. I uploaded myself wearing the maroon blouse, for certain reason I wanted him to notice me in maroon but too bad he had deactivated his fb waayy before that. In the chat that I scrolled back, we told each other that we would miss chatting like this, I don't know about him but I always do. When I wrote about wanting someone to listen to me, it would always remind me of him. He told me that I could have known him more when the time is right. I am actually kind of waiting and still curious though years might have passed.

I would always remember you this way.

Or is it perhaps, the time would never be right?

*I wish I could reveal his actual name here. But I choose him to remain anonymous and let this stays between me and him, only.