Terima kasih, KAWAN.

I was back to school this week with sadness. Really2 sad ! :( so as soon as i done praying. syahirah n other dorm mates surrounded me. dorg duduk n tanye.

"wan kenapa ni? mcm sedih je. what happen ?"
muke aku time tu usah cerita la.mmg xde mood. ahh, toye semcm.
"aku..aku da...dgn dy"

aku pelok syahirah. terasa sgt time tu. i was crying again. ntah berapa galo0n da air mata aku kuar. hanis dtg, usap2 blakang aku.

"betol ke nie wan ? mcm xpercaya je. kau mcm nie aku pon terasa tempiasnye. ish, kenapa aku rasa sedih jugak ni."
"kenapa ni nenek? aku da hilang ayah. aku hilang atok aku sekali ke ?"Bella dtg duduk tepi katil aku. aku tau dia xtau apa2 cerita. niat dy nk bergurau. rupa2 nye btol2. trus dy tnye lagi.
"ehh betol ke nie?" aku mengangguk2.
"aah bella. betol. " :(

that time. kawan2 aku tanye aku kenape? aku xtau nk jwb ap. senyap aje. aku ckp aku xfhm. memang xfaham kenape dy buat mcm tue. xde sebab yang konkrit. aku xbleh trima sebab tu..x boleh langsung.xpe lahh.dorg suh aku mandi. so capai towel pg shower. bru je aku nk masuk dlm shower, safy bru kuar.

"oyh, kenape nie ?"
aku senyum jea. xlarat nk ckp.aku trus msuk lm shower. bukak air.
"eyh wan. ko tgk x vid yg aku suh ko tgk? aku chat ngn yen tau x?"n..blah3. happynye kwn aku nie. aku tumpang gembira safy. :)
aku donggakkn air shower tue bia sampai muka aku. ahh, sakitny xilang lagi. aku jerit dlm shower tue.
"saffyyy!! aku da xde pape ngn dy!"
walopon byk air yg bjujran atas muka aku. aku still dpt rase air mata aku kuar.
"aku tau."safy jawab.

aku terdiam. aku tau dy ckp mcm td nk buat aku lupa masalah aku.kau bwat mcm mane pon safy, aku still pkir jgak. sorry.

"kenapa aku rase dy buat mcm tue sbb terpaksa? aku rase dy ad sbb laen. "

aku diam lagi. mandi.mandi.mandi. aku kluar shower.nmpk safy kt sbelah shower aku. ohh, dy tunggu aku rupanya.xpelahh. aku kuar nk blik dorm dgn dy. tbe2 jmpe ain.

"wan are you okay mama wan?"
"no, i'm not okay."
berkaca blik mata aku.
"eyh, don't cry. shhhh..shhh.."
safy dr belakang lari..trus tutup mata aku.
"dahh!! jgn nanges!!"dy jerit.
aku senyum..tp xbleh thn.meleleh jgak akhirnye.

*Berbuka puasa. dining hall.

aku tgk safy senduk nasi. dy buh utk satu meja. smpy turn aku.
"cukup x?"
"ish byk sgt. buang lagi."
kawan-kawan smea plik pndang aku. aku tau dorg plik nape nasi yg aku mntak agk sikit dr biase. sorry, aku xlalu nk makan.
"wan, habiskn nasi."
"sorry, aku xlarat. perot sakit"
"da masuk angin la tue? awat hang xmkn wan ? dr bler hang xmkn nie ?"
"aku mkn lahh.tp skit je.xlalu"
"hang nie laa...da2."

.......................................................................................................................

"safy, aku nk call dy mlm nie."
"ok. kau nk aku ad kt sebelah ke? "
"aah.nk."aku angguk.

aku pergi mintak aisyah krim halia.arhh..nk sapu kt perot.skitnye rase. aku masuk je dlm dorm phoenix 2. aisyah tanye..

"anything to story?"
aku nganguk n trus bercerita. kwn2 aku kasi support.mlm tue aku xlarat nk terawih. perot teramat la skit.

*mlm. phoenix 1. lepas prep.

"wan jom makan !"
perghh..mlm tue.dorm aku gler kaya dgn mknn.bella bwk cucur udang.khairan bwk murtabak. syahirah bwk spageti n bandung.perghh,.sedap.najwa bwk yong tau fu.miza bwk air honeydewn kuih muih.sarah plak bwk 3 jenis mee. hehe. abes la smea pakse aku mkn. mkn jgak la. sbb sedap.haha.tp tyme tue aku asyik igt nk call jea. tp kwn2 aku xbg call. dorg suh mkn kenyang2 and tdoe.hmmm..tp..aku degil.

* after light off..

be patient wan. sabar2.call dy dlu.relax..perlahan2.hmm.aku pg call dy tnpa pengetahuan kwn2 aku. mula2 dy xangkt. tp lepas tue dy angkt. dy ckp acuh x acuh. sedeh nye aku rase.xsempat aku nk ckp "bye" dy da tutup. sgt kasar. aku xkre. aku capai journal tue and trus menulis.

"IF YOU ASK ME, HOW MANY TIMES MY HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN, I WILL TELL YOU TO LOOK UP AT THE SKY AND COUNT THE STARS"

The BROKEN promises.

I never could explain how does my heart break into thousand of pieces. Right now, I cant hold back my tears no more. It hurts me so much for every second that i try. I don't know why.

so this is what i got from adila.

Apabila salah satu pintu kebahagiaan tertutup, yang lain akan terbuka tapi lazimnya kita akan memandang pintu yang telah tertutup itu terlalu lama hinggakan kita tidak nampak pintu yang telahpun dibukakan untuk kita. so,..jgnla pndg pintu 2 lma2 hehe..=)

it's ok. I'll wait for him. xpe.k.wan tunggu jgak dila.I'll wait.

Kahwinilah orang yang lebih mencintai diri kita daripada kita mencintai diri orang itu. Itu lebih baik daripada mengahwini orang yang kita cintai tetapi tidak menyintai diri kita kerana adalah lebih mudah mengubah pendirian diri sendiri daripada mengubah pendirian orang lain

Ia cuma mengambil masa seminit untuk jatuh hati pada seseorang, satu jam untuk menyukai seseorang, satu hari untuk menyintai seseorang tetapi ia mengambil masa sepanjang hidup untuk melupakan seseorang. Memang benar yang kita tidak akan tahu apa yang telah kita punyai sehinggalah kita kehilangannya dan uga benar bahawa kita tidak tah...u apa yang kita rindukan sehinggalah 'ia'datang.

ntah la lil sis. thanks sbb bg k.wan semangat blik. huhu.. tp...huhu.ntah la.xtau nk ckp ap.ssh btol kalo da setia. :)

Special dedication.

This is my special dedication to my dorm mates who have live under one roof with me nearly a year. So friends, please..let bygone, be bygone. OK ? Well, the most valuable thing right now is friendship. living in a hostel.that's all it takes. whatever comes, we are looking for friends 1st. that is the rule that we use to practice each time right ? And it is a very bad idea to fight at this moment. After the sorry and thanks, i would like you guys to know that i love all of ya. We've been a lot through think and thin. ;)

Dear friends,
I would like to give my simple review on each of my dorm mates.
So let me now, start with the one that is probably sleep only up above me that is ;

Sarah.
This girl is more into a motherly action. She wakes up very early in the morning and wake us up each morning. If she wakes up late, then the whole dorm members would surely late too. ;)

Hanis.
We have been in the same dorm since last year. She is the most gentle one among us. Atief did say that her voice is like doraemon. ahaha. funny huh ? she's kind. there's no doubt. <3

Syahirah.
She's the mother's daughter. she is very pampered but really she take care of her things so neat.

Najwa.
Ketua dorm ! haha. she take care of the very little thing in dorm. she creates the duty rooster and make sure that the dorm is neat every morning.

Khairan.
This is another girl that we call gadis ayu. haha. she is beauutiful.really beautiful and her acts? cute ! very cute ! :)

Bella.
This girl is so talkative. haha. she exprienced a lot of things and yet that things make she grow older. :)

Miza.
haha. name pengasas ajaran sesat. kui3. :) she live in hostel since she is form one and yea experienced a lot of things based on the seniority complexion. so kalo spe2 nk sorok hp, tanye dy ! haha

Miera.
I enjoy talking to her. She's the most inpenetrable shield for backuping the phoenixian members out of the revenge of the other house. ;)

The SMSKBians.

Hello everyone.

Today, this session is dedicated to those people who has really make me wonder a lot, there are some weaknesses on them that they don't realize and doesn't listen to those voices who speak for the rights. Pheww, seems that it's criticizing the people again. So here's are the details ;

1) The teachers
Firstly, I'm sorry teachers If i had make mistakes and well, if you think that this session might also torn u apart or my words would hurt you. Sadly, its very nagging me when i can see the point obviously when the teachers are making the fivers as the experiment. When the 1st time i stepped in this school, this is what people mentioned to me before. I hate to say this but unluckily I feel it's much more disgusting when the specialty that we have based on the seniority complexion has been removed or lessen due to your trust on the juniors' voices. I don't like to give a damn. It has touched my sensitiveness when suddenly the one that should go representing the school on the international level has to be the f.4s. Well, seems that the teachers have not look at us due to the reason saying that we are the form five. we have bad results and we are not allowed to go. That's more disgusting when the moment to go was the PBM session and there's no extra class for us. It only took 3days. Does the 3days will affect our results ? Ohh, it's more than shits. Sadly, we are accepting the fact that we are nothing more than an intake. Bad results and make people angry. However, have the teachers wonder what so much we are putting on this school ? What so much we are contributing to this school making it as a real school ? We entered this school in a zero contented school. There are nothing. No books in the library. We even have to choose our own school anthem and choose the books in the library. We planned a lot for the society and club activities and even have to suffer without professional training in every battle in competitions. Have you ever thinking how stressful it was competing in that kind of situation? It was hard. The teachers sometimes know to criticize but don't try to help. It was much more than hurting. Still, the teachers are thinking much for the f.4s and would only like to polish them for the school victories. They provide them with a lot of facilities. On the next year, they can use the computers, borrowing books from library and enjoyed all the things that the fivers had set up for them.I don't really mind that, but please handle the fragile heart of fivers with care.

2) The boys [Aspuraian]
Boys.boys.boys. I don't know what's up with the guys. They are so closed minded and being the backstabbers of the girls. They talked shits and spreading the bad news in the whole aspura. They think that they are good enough to advise people, but then they don't reflect themselves in the mirror first. I would to see the boys to open their eyes widely. Maybe not all, but most of the boys have become so Kampung and could not adapt with the girls. I mean sometimes they could not even talk with girls. I mean, when the girls approach the boys first, they would talk behind our back after that. The boys here are not gentleman. They don't have the will to help the girls when seeing girls handling a heavy work. Let's say that the girls are up on the ladder preparing something, what they do is only looking at the girls and start chatting with their friends. The boys here are lazy. They cannot manage themselves neatly. They have messy dorms and have a bad attitude on the way they talk, walk, hair yet their own self. They even talked about the girls' body so much. They can't see girls wearing a bit tight clothes. They hate the girls attitude but at the same time love to see it. That what I hate about the boys in SAKBA. Any objection ? ohh, well..if the boys would like to object it, your objections are not acceptable. These are a worth and accurate situations and points.

3) The juniors
I would like to claim that the juniors here in SAKBA are not grateful. They are the one who creating the problem and put the blame on other people. They are not matured and rely on people too much. They talk about the seniors so much and complain a lot. I don't know why the f.4s sometimes doesn't have a critical and creative thinking. They can't think out of the box and don't manage to complete their tasks even on the last minutes. They have not even think that the seniors have sacrifice a lot for them. They are chosen for the international programmes which we don't have the chance to taste it. They don't have the leadership. I don't how they could manage the school next year. Hopefully, it would be just o.k.

So people, please moving on up !

=.=

Today's on listed things ;

1) I'm having head-ache. Vaccine in need.

2) Waiting my parents to arrive Penang. Time is wasted again.

3) House prom night? Tired about the anxious thinking.

4) SBP's trial. Sick of studying.

5) Hungry like hell. Wanna eat something !

6) Add-maths and modern maths exercises. Not to mention Physics. Need much time.

7) History, Biology and Chemistry reading. Still on progress.

8) House prom night dress. I never found one.

9) Tons of laundry. Gonna get going.

10) ON-stress.Carmomile tea request. :)

Disappointment.

Hi viewers.

Actually, my holiday for this 2nights and a day at my home turned out to be very tough. I caught a fever due to my stomach-ache. I vomited for about thousand times and i could not even eat. It was very pitiful. Not to mention only that, suddenly i feel like i was abandoned from him. I noticed something different from him. I don't know what's really about him. He did not reply my texts as what i was wishing for. Well, this short period of time really make me sad as i was treated that way by him and he seemed a bit angry and not into mood when i had a little misunderstanding in our conversations. Does his feeling fade away? Or maybe he has found somebody new? Dear, if this really happens, u should tell me. Have a frank talk to me. I will let you go even if i had to break my heart into thousand of pieces.

Dedicate to ; Abah.

Abah, GET WELL SOON. WE MISS YOU.

"Happy Father's day Abah!"

.Kak cik.
x0Xo