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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The harder I try, the harder I FALL.


Dear Mr A,

The moment I received your text yesterday, you really screwed up my mood. I was watching movies when I realized that my phone was vibrating. I don't know how to inter prate my feelings lately. I think that I am getting over you. I think I did that but NOT after receiving your text yesterday. It's killing me. Yeah, it does. I wasn't sleepy at that time. I'm sorry. I lied. It just that I really can't resist any conversation with you right now. I can't talk to you anymore. Please believe me when I say it's not that I don't want to, it's just that everything I want to say I can't tell you anymore.You said that this decision made is good for both side. It's a wise decision for me, but it isn't a good one at my side. Frankly, who ever said that forgetting you is easy? I guess that's only easy for you. But not for me. I couldn't deny saying that I'm still thinking about you everyday. Recalling of what you did and said everyday. It's even hard to admit that we are now friends. I've decided that I don't wanna be anyone for you. Neither a friend, nor somebody. If you wanna see me having a totally forgetting you and deleting you in my life, please don't ever contacting me. Sometimes, i wonder. Am I mad at you? That's your main concern after shattering my whole world? Mad for what? Breaking my heart? Or for all the lies? Maybe for letting me put all my trust in you only to be betrayed? How about the fact you didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face? Or the way you think it's crazy that I'm crying over it cause to you breaking up is no big deal. Am I mad at you?... no. More like crushed... did I ever really know you? I need to trash you, or otherwise I'm not going to taste happiness in my life. I'm sick of boys. You have disappointed me twice, and I hope there won't be thrice.

I am none like you who tend to have this feelings which is easily fade away. Mine is not weak as yours, mine is more powerful than you ever imagine. Mine is stronger and it takes time to vanish it. I'm sorry. I can't handle this. I'm trying but it doesn't work now. Maybe later. Promise ya I'll fight for this feeling. I'll get over you soon. I will.

I know I'm not completely over him. He still crosses my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also passes through my heart. Maybe if this happens enough, my heart will become completely hardened to him, and I'll get to the point where he doesn't affect me anymore
HE the almighty, has set up my destiny,
all i've got to do is praying for my best,
" closer me to him if he is my soul mate,
and if he doesn't, please let this feeling go away,
without letting me hurt no more "

6 comments:

nur iqa said...

Be strong wann! :)

Wan Syafiqa said...

i would. da penat da tq. dy buat pangai blik. thanks yea. :)

SnoW whiTe said...

guys suck. they are sicker than the psycho ppl in the mental illness hospital.

akuQ said...

strong right away
la kwn..

Wan Syafiqa said...

AkuQ,
hehe. thanks. tgh mencuba. =)

akuQ said...

Falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful.