After about 5 months leaving Malaysia and starting back to build my 2nd year now in Adelaide, tonight I just feel like writing, expressing myself. Despite of having my busy and cramp scheduled here, writing would be one of the ways on relaxing and keep myself clam. Alhamdulillah, I went through two tests this morning. That were physiology and biochemistry. I was keep on feeling steady and stable after went over my 1st test this morning but not after Biochemistry because what I was expected to have was not what I expected to come. I don't know whether I can really survive with this subject or not this semester. To meet up with my sponsorship's requirements is not that easy. Being a scholarship student is not that easy because you would then come to the point that,
"I HAD ENOUGH. NOW, I WANT TO QUIT
BE A HOUSEWIFE."
I then realized that in this life, there is no such easy things. When life has so many levels that you need to endure, this is just the simple tests that Allah has put you to go through. Because Allah once said that,
"Do people think that they will be
left (at ease) only on their saying,
"we believe" and will not put you to any test?"
The Holy Quran : Al-Ankaboot
When you claimed that yourself is the believer, Allah will put you into several tests. At this point Allah wants to test you whether you keep going and rely on Allah 100%. Allah creates us and whoever knows us better than Him? He mentions that he is closer that our jugular veins in Quran, and he knows whatever thoughts our inner self develops but yet He still loves to hear us making du'a to Him. Because we sometimes never even spent time with Him yet He still waits for us to talk to him. :( Sometimes, I feel like I'm being harsh to this divine and pure relationship as it is a relationship between you, yourself and your Lord. The one who owns you at the first place. The one that you should say that, "All of me, Love all of You". But yeah, it is always me who failed on concentrating on You, yet You never fail to protect and ensure that everything that happens on my everyday life stays and falls on the right place. After all, I know that your blessings always overpowers everything. SubhanaAllah, life is indeed a game. It just whether you win or lose on this battle.
Keep on guiding me because,
I want to love you as much as You love me.