Kali ini saya masih lagi diuji dengan hati & perasaan.
Hebat betul ujian ini. Lepas tahu fail dalam supplementary test baru ni, the person that I've been waiting for said that he can't go on with this anymore. Some people say, everything happens for a reason. How I wish I know what the reason is. :(
To be frank, mesej yg awak dok hantar panjang panjang kat saya saying the last words goodbye etc saya tak baca betul betul pun. Dah rasa meluat sangat. Saya sangat merasakan yang awk ni tak tahu bersyukur dengan apa yang awak ada sekarang. You already have me, tapi needs someone who is near to you? Kepelikan apakah ini? -.- You'll realize one day why I am saying this to you. Within just few weeks, ntah kenapa senang sangat berubah hati. Bila bersembang dengan housemates, dorang cakap lelaki memang mcm ni. Hubungan jarak jauh mmg susah. Kalau ditanya what is my last words to you ; I hope you guys do not last together. And you are going to be crashed harder into pieces. Or if its lasts, its pretty cool to see people suffer in their lifetime. Kasar bunyinye kan? Tapi itu yang memang datang dari hati sungguh. -.-
So far, saya dah unfriend awk kt facebook, saya dah delete every single pic of what you've sent. saya dah delete number awk and our conversation both in whatsapp and telegram. I decided not to block you, but i would if one of us is engaged or married first. I decided not to be anyone for you. Jauh sekali nak share apa apa dengan awk. Cukup lah awk kesian kat saya and force diri awk untuk text and amik berat kat saya. Trust saya kt awak dah zero pun. Though I have this feeling for expecting you to come back, I hate the idea of you approaching me again. Saya sendiri tak pasti at the first place kenapa awk boleh approach sy balik. I think sebab awk sunyi kot. Sebab awk takde anyone at that time. kan? Omaigood, baru perasan kalau benda ni betul memang play safe betul lah mamat ni. Only for your benefits rupanya.
So hari ni as usual depressed skit. I keep on vomitting. Makan muntah balik. I cant sleep last night. Pretty sure awak sekarang ni mesti takde rasa apa2 pun kan. Texting dgn dia seronok2 bagai. I have tests lagi this week. But I can't study today. Not at all. Seronok & bangga tak keep on doing this to me? You were saying this to me ; hope you'll find a better person than me. But seriously you are not deserved pun for anybody. Tell the girl to read all of my posts and ask her now, does she really want to be with you?
I don't know how many girls have been in your history until now. And I am so much disappointed because with me, it has been thrice. Saya harap awk rasa apa yang saya rasa. You keep on doing this to me. Satu hari if you're being dumped like this you'll know how hard it is. I am not praying for your happiness or else, I just don't want to include you in my prayer anymore cause I had enough from you.