Help me

My facebook is flooded with lots of cooking video and if I have my kitchen right now I would probably tried everything I watched! Apart from writing, cooking is one of my best therapy. I can be more expressive with cooking too lol

True, my obsession over food is crazy ya knoww. hahaha

So when I am a foodie, I cook as well. I don't wanna really say this, but I think I have good sense of tasting, that's when my every dish turns out pretty well hehehe. 

Because of this, I've been wishing to be part of Rasa Halal Antarabangsa host, because that show really gathers every of my passion and obsession at the same time! Travelling, eating good halal food, hosting, spreading the beauty of every cultures, experience new things, feel the air of another country, see the world and even got the chance to learn new traditional cuisine of other races, that would just sound perfect to me. Sooo purrfeeect. And I know this is so not going to happen thus I'll just have to keep keep dreaming, hahaha. 

Just recently, I watched so many cooking demonstration on youtube. If you look at my subscriptions, you'll die in hunger since I only subscribe good food and recipes in my channel haha so this is what I'm doing during weekend if I have nothing else to do, watching and drooling. Anndd my another wish is to taste the food cooked by top chefs and youtubers like chef wan and maangchi. Maangchi is so popular with her korean dishes, and everytime I watched it, she just making me watching her videos more. I even played the same video numerous time because of how good the food looks like. 

My late mom used to bake and sell a lot of cakes and cookies before. My mother was a very amazing cook. She cooks everyday that I have never got the chance to know lauk bungkus actually exists when I was in school. I've grown up in a family who eat home-cooked meal a lot. I thought that every family is like that when in fact it is not. Everytime she tasted a dish, she'll tell me she can make this turn out even better and truly she did. That is to the point when I found how extremely amazing she was. Out of my siblings, I am always the one who would accompany my mom in the kitchen. Well, most of my sisters did, but I think I'm the most often one. My fondness of trying to cook was even before I started kindergarten. I used to interrupt my mom when she baked and to drive my attention away, my mom would tell me to watch some sort of cooking shows on tv lol. And I would asked my mom everyday, "mak ada masak masak tak harini?" hahaha. I hope she didn't feel annoyed, When I've done with my matriculation, I had a 9 months bloody long break before I flew to Adelaide. I realized I learnt so much from her and we even had a deep conversation sometimes. And that was I think, I was matured enough to listen to her deep convo. I think my mom was born to make everyone happy because what I realized, she's happy when she can make people happy. Such a pure and lovely woman she is :)

I wanted to preserve this quality she had in my family soon :) I wanted my family to grow with the barakah food I cook. Uhm, here it goes my identity crisis again. hahaha. I still think that people who reads a lot, have a lot of knowledge is the richest person among all. That's why I chose to pursue master and dig more and more experience each day. I wanted to inspire people and tell the world how important knowledge and experiences are to me. Coz if you have that title, people tend to believe you more. That's when if people asked, I can tell them how my research is going on with enthusiasm. I can help them in so many ways. Help them to study and share with other people how I did to secure a supervisor, scholarship and all. To be frank, I am always happy receiving emails and private message regarding mybrainsc before. This small heart really wanted to help people :) 

However, the other side of me is always dreaming of being a wife and a mother who cooks on every meal, I just want to be the wife who would ask my husband what he's going to eat, and can literally eat every food I cooked with love and gesture of appreciation, I just wanna listen to how he loves my food very much and kiss my forehead telling me how wonderful I treated our family. I wanna be a supermom educating my children too. While I know the best mom is the one who stayed at home, I wanna be a woman who works because I want a brain which keep on functioning everyday lol. Not downgrading anyone, but it is just me. I am like that. I have to go out meeting people, learn some things, do some research to keep my soul alive. 

Well I hope I can sort these things out, soon. 

I have too much things in my head that I need somebody to help me with these thoughts.

Sigh. 

Postgraduate's life progression

Hello guys!

It's almost 4 months I'm here in Kuantan. At first I thought Kuantan is just a normal capital city for nothing can beat Ipoh hehe. Ipoh is a city which has better facilities and entertainments more than Kuala Kangsar, obviously but less crowded than Kuala Lumpur. Therefore I always find Ipoh is the perfect place to hang around and have fun with my family. Nonetheless, it has been appointed to be one of the top city by lonely planet which even strengthen my thoughts about it. When I asked my brother in law who spends half of his life living in Kuantan about the attractions here, he always put me down because he knows nothing much. I bet this is due to he studied in a boarding school before so when the school holiday came, being at home is the best option rather than wandering around Kuantan.

Frankly, I was quite lonely when I first came here. I know no one else except for my supervisors and everything was at its very awkward state -__- I struggled with its different system from my former uni and I was so dumb about the semester too. I had nooo idea what short semester is. And when my supervisor and a master student was away for a week, I felt homesick! IIUM just felt so empty without them hahaha. Now I know what loneliness is, I began to look for some new friends and trying to do something new.

Today was my first day of swimming session. At some point I am glad that I am destined to be here in IIUM instead of other universities because I know they do practice healthy interaction between genders. The gym and the pool were all genders friendly and what I like the most is the vibe of spreading positive and inspirational Islamic teachings. I like it when you came to the entrance and 99 of Allah names keep on approaching you all the way to mahallah. I love it too when someone sees you walking alone in the campus, they will offer you a ride :) And I like it when everybody around you addressing each other with sisters and brothers. Well, we do this a lot in Adelaide too but since we interacted in English so it seemed normal for us using that phrase. But I found it so special when you're using it here. It's like people respect each other more. Tomorrow is going to be another session of my gym routine. I think I started to enjoy my life here now. I feel happy and keen to look forward for my days ahead.

While I think I've fall for my current university already, Kuantan is treating me well too! Recently, I met a phd student from UPM and this kakak is doing her attachment over here. Whenever she came here, she brought me to lots of good places and food too! I went to a stall yesterday selling deep fried seafood. We had the seafood and some otak-otak and sata. Surprisingly, everything was good! I discovered good shopping places and went to a beach. My halaqah friends said Kuantan is a place to be explored so I have trust in this city now since I've seen the other side of it slowly despite of what my brother in law said hahaha.

I just hope that for the upcoming days, months and years I have to spend here, I can make good memories and be happy like I was in Adelaide. I'm not going to stay here forever but I'll make sure I have the best one.

Dan Wan Syafiqa, semoga istiqamah dengan gym dan swimming. lol

Future you

Haritu masa raya aku jumpa balik kawan kawan sekolah dulu. Masa sekolah all girls dulu tuu :')

Dorang ni mashaAllah nakal la masa kat sekolah dulu. Taklah jahat sampai tahap merokok hisap dadah bagai tu haha. Nakai ja. hihi. Yang bestnya dorang ni walaupun perangai gila gila tapi masing masing otak power beb. Dulu kteorang mostly kelas depan, jadi kawan sekelas aku ni ramai la yang hebat hebat belaka. Ada yang selalu siap kerja sekolah awal, senyap je dan menurut perintah cikgu betul. Ayu dan sopan pula tu. Memang gadis melayu terakhir.

Berbeza la dengan geng aku ni, kteorang outspoken, daring, bising dan sangat riang haha. My friends were very bright. Sebab tu bila jumpa, tak tahu nak dengar sape yang bercakap. Semua nak bercerita. heh -.- Pernah ada sekali tu, kitaorang tengah makan makan kat kfc kuale, masa tu memang tak ingat dunia la. Dah tak peduli sape kiri kanan. Rupa2nya ada sekumpulan budak lelaki tengah makan juga kat situ, dorang hantar seorang budak kecik umur 7 ke 8 tahun kot mintak supaya kakak ni senyap sikit. Perghh terkedu semua kawan aku. hahahaha. Haaa buat lagi kome! lol

If you look closer,

Our friendship is literally 10 years guys! 10 yearss.

Bila aku kenangkan dorang, tak sangka 10 tahun ni macam macam yang kitaorang lalu. I mean I've seen them growing kot. huhu. Kalau korang tanya aku siapa yang pernah hadir dalam hidup diorang hehe, aku memang boleh jawab. Dan kalau korang tanya dorang siapa yang pernah ada dalam hidup aku eceh, dorang pun boleh jawab. Haritu gather balik, dorang pun bertanya pasal 'orang orang' tersebut. Ohoii senyap semua senyap. Aku taknak ingat apa apa dah k. Patutlah islam larang intimate-relationship between genders, ini rupanya hikmah dia.

Buat julung kalinyaaa, selepas beberapa tahun aku miss gathering dorang. Dan ada je orang yang takde kali ni sepuluh orang semua ada! Waaahhh sesenyap2 kedai makan haritu, mau runtuh bila semua orang mula bersuara. haha. And you know you're not a kid anymore, instead of pointer kau berapa, kau masuk u mana course apa bagai bertukar ke...

Kau nanti kerja area mana? Eh bila lagi sekali tarikh nikah? Jap, tahu tak dia dah bertunang? Ehh...dia dah kawin dah la! Dia ni dah ada 2 anak dah. Dia baru bersalin semalam weh.

Andd....all you can do is eating popcorn. hahahahahaha

Serius dewasa sangat dorang. Aku masih lagi sedih apsal elaun aku tak masuk masuk sambil telefon ayah aku membebel kenapa bacteria aku tak hidup hidup, risau tak secure sponsorship bagai. Untuk orang yang dah ke fasa yang seterusnya dalam hidup, aku sangat respect dengan dorang. Sebab dorang sangat berani untuk tempuh hidup yang not-going-to-be laid back people! Out of 10 spyro sisters aku ni, sorang baru je bertunang raya lepas, sorang nikah dan sorang bertunang bulan depan.3 orang dah ada planning, maka tinggal la kami 4 orang terkebil kebil. 2 orang dah nak kerja, Dann tinggal lah aku dengan sorang kawan aku ni yang masih belajar.

Jadi, untuk awak yang saya masih tak nampak bayang. Saya tengah berusaha nak jadi yang terbaik bila kita jumpa nanti ni. Jangan risau, raya lepas saya dah practise working in a hell's kitchen hahaha. Just in case kalau family awak ni family besar, I've been trained in a hectic kitchen ya knoww. Ramadhan lepas, saya berjaya prepare sahur setiap kali balik untuk family saya tau so saya akan pastikan kita dapat pahala sahur. I've read lots of parenting stuffs, saya baca buku sirah dan pilih nama nama best supaya nanti this ummi can tell stories behind their names soon :') Saya pergi gym & take care the whole me so that when i meet you I will look all happy and healthy. So to my 'future-you', wherever you are, I hope you're doing the same thing too, learning to be a husband with responsibilities and reserving ourselves for the pure and right person.

Hai, ni la dia hadiah awak untuk seumur hidup. 

Saya amik berkat orang bertunang ni tau.

May Allah gives you sabr dealing with this girl soon.

Hehehe :)

Beraya dengan matang

Assalamualaikum!

Selamat hari raya & maaf zahir batin :)

Alhamdulillah cukup dah seminggu raya kat kampung. Jadi semalam aku dah pulang ke uia terchenta. Boleh pulak aku tak boleh tidur malam semalam. Pelik betul. Padahal ni keturunan Nobi Nobita kot yang boleh lelap dalam masa 2 minit hehehe. Mungkin jiwa kecilku masih meronta-ronta ingin sambung beraya taknak masuk lab lagi. Jangan nak ngade sangat, supervisor dah cari 2 hari lepas k.

Raya tahun ni terasa sayu la jugak. I feel the vibe of sadness bila Ramadhan habis :( 

Lagi rasa kehilangan bila 30 Ramdahan tu aku masak rendang 2 ekor ayam siap. Selalunya aku akan tolong mak je. Ya, raya pertama aku tanpa mak di Malaysia. Penat woih. Dari rumah tak cukup kuih bagai aku fikir tau. Raya pertama nak masak apa pastu end up aku buat nasi goreng je sebab takut nasi semalam basi haha. Jadi pagi raya selain menjamah lemang dan rendang, adalah nasi goreng sikit kahkah. Pastu, aku panaskan carbonara buat semalam hidang ke along aku, buat lapik perut. Nahh silalah habiskan semua makanan, aku tak suka leftover ni, nanti berbuang je bila lebih 2 hari tak makan. Selalunya ennn kalau raya sebelum sebelum ni mak mesti akan masak power power pastu bawak pegi rumah pah. Aku em, okay je nak masak bebanyak tapi kalau takde orang makan canee. Aku intimidated lagi nak masak ke makcik makcik aku, sebab dorang punya skill ni lain macam. Kena kutuk kang, murung aku dua tiga hari nak balik uia cepat cepat pulak.

Tahun ni, aku dengan adik je yang sibuk buat persiapan raya. Kak ngah beraya rumah mertua, kak yang masih bekerja untuk rakyat malaysia. huhu. Malam raya kedua baru sampai. Along pulak balik pagi raya sebab rumah dekat je kat ipoh hmm. Kalau balik awei sikit kan dah boleh nolong Abah buang sampah sarap depan rumah tu.

Bila dah besar ni, raya is not about duit raya anymore. Raya is about meeting relatives, bonding time dan ziarah menziarahi :') Haaa. Sekarang la aku nak amik pusing sape yang dok sebelah rumah pah aku, dia tu apa kaitan dengan keluarga aku dan yang paling penting sekali; 

Hell's kitchen rumah pah. 

Dari aku jejak rumah pah, terus aku ke dapur membasuh pinggan dan menghidang makanan. Raya pertama baju raya aku patutnya kain batik dan tshirt jeee. haha. Tapi sebab nak ikut sunnah kan pakai baju baru :D Duduklah aku di dapur sambil menjadi pembantu ayah (pakcik aku) masak Mee Teng dekat dapur. Opah aku nyahut je dari depan, suruh topup makanan, buat air bagai. Tensi sepupu aku memasing, nasib lah kitaorang banyak perempuan. hihi

Kalau kat Adelaide untuk 3 tahun kitaorang sambut 'kita-kita' je sama ada kena hantar assignment pada hari pertama atau ada kelas pagi raya dan hanya akan tenang lepas dapat result exam haha, baru ni occasion kemain beratur. Raya ni je kawan aku 4 orang dah bertunang, sorang kawin. Jiran aku kawin lagi. Jenuh aku susun jadual cuba nak pergi semua. Lepastu, dapat berita sorang lagi kawan baik aku nak bertunang. Mabruk alaih sisters2 ku sekalian, maju maju korang semua walau aku masih di takuk yang lama. Bila jumpa balik pun masing masing cakap pasal kerja, kawin. Offended pula kita hahahaha

Hidup ni aku rasa dah semakin matang. Tak berani pula nak lalu hari hari akan datang. 

Because I don't know what challenges & obstacles are coming soon.  

Age, please stop increasing!