Another lost

Today is the day of me losing my 93 years old grandpa.

No, I didn't go back home. 

Instead I am writing my blog here in the place where I work the most. 

The molecular lab.

I am now confuse of how exactly I should feel. 

Should I feel at lease a lot better coz I've seen tok was struggling so much last time?

Should I feel sad, crying underneath my pillow because I will never see him again?

Should I feel relieved because tok should be in the better place now? 

And the question is, is it a really 'better place' for him since everyone's better place is distinct from each other for sure. 

Death is a sure thing, when I think it back thing that is worrisome to me is of course the after death life. O Allah, place my mother and my grandpa to the best place in the hereafter along with the syuhada' and the believers. Grant them the highest level of paradise. 

For a person who still need to work in uplifting Islam as our sole goal, 

let us still work for your battle is not over yet. 

Al fatihah to both my grandpa & mom. 

I love you.
Lillahitaala. Always.

Semoga aku menjadi zuriat yang solehah, menjadi asbab mereka ke syurga.
Tetap sabar dan kuat iAllah.