Aha, nailed these cool-ly!

I've been waiting for this time to update my blog.

Alhamdulillah guys, I have submitted my final draft of my thesis last Tuesday! The feeling was incredible. Because right after I wrapped up my colloquium works, I speed up my writing and I worked like crazy. My thought is solely to finish off this thesis thing and I don't want to pay for my tuition fees haha. And yeah did it. Right now I am preparing my slides for pre-viva and still waiting for feedback from both my supervisors.

I wish to update this last month since I had much much stories to share. But the due date and my thesis flutter me a lot. These two years of my postgraduate life I think I experienced a great achievements during the latest colloquium held last month:

• I was the editor of Postgraduate Magazine entitled 'Virtousi' which was launched at the Colloquium night. I worked on the layout, the page arrangement and even proof read some of the articles sent to me. I chose the concept and did some alteration too. I know it was so much works but I was really happy and satisfied with the final result. I used to dream of being a journalist to be honest, tv hosting and reporting. Hahaha. That is probably the hidden part of me. Simply I feel so expressive working on the magazine. I love it so much. That should be my precious baby after my thesis I reckon. I feel so proud of my co-editorial board member: Shahrain and the PGKOS committee. Alhamdulillah we nailed this pretty cool. 

The anonymous quote is originally mine so yeah not so anonymous anymore hehe. 

Here is the link. Feel free to read it since it's made to motivate and inspire people with our postgraduate activities :)

VIRTOUSI

• I represented postgraduate student in a forum with two other lecturers. The theme was motivation for postgraduate students. To be honest I was freaking out because I know my place and of course I am not that diligent enough to be up there. I don't even own a thesis at that time and that is the most anxious thing ever for a postgraduate students of course. But Alhamdulillah, I think I did a pretty good job in this 2 hours discussion. After all a forum is all about discussion and every voice matters. It is not sort of debate that you need to win an argument. So it was all based on your point of view. That's the beauty of discussion until I was questioned by a phd student on my credibility lol (I think I need to write entire post for this sebab banyak sangat benda nak bebel haha) Frank enough, that was the point when I think I need to blurt out everything without thinking. So my virtual friend, where were you? (I know we were disconnected for almost a year now, but you were the 1st one I thought of that time. Because I wanna do it comfortably haha)

The other two lecturers are extraordinary. Memang bagai langit dan bumi. 

Hahaha. But like Dr Naim always said, "You are nothing less than me. We learn from each other"

Those words were so heart soothing. Thank you dr. 

Also I've got so many supporters that day. Credit to Dr. Latif too haha.

• I participated in 3 minute thesis and won first place! Alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah. It was the first time me showing my unpolished public speaking skill in IIUM since I left school 8 years ago lol. I do not expect this would be such a plot twist cause the champion of this competition was there too. I was quite busy that week coz I attended a training program held in Bangi before the colloquium. Pretty much I barely had the time to practice. The thing is I prepared the text early and keep on murmuring the text while I was ironing and read my text before I sleep. That's was the only time I had. So yeah, hard work didn't betray :)

• I was the multimedia PIC for the Colloquium night. So I did another fun thing again! :) I edited videos and prepare for the VIRTOUSI launching ceremony. Since I was part of the editing team, I look forward for that moment so much! and alhamdillah things went well again. I feel expressive again coz I chose the songs ensuring that theme that night could be delivered nicely. Worked well with my co-multimedia committee; Wanie! Setiap kali dengan wanie, mesti rasa tenang dan selamat haha.

I looked so pale I know. That's the beauty of my bare face. hahaha

Well, on occasion patutnya beregek la skit ye dak.

But seriously I was out of mood sebab balik pukul 5pm, 

lepastu rasa macam overused my body for the weeks and I reached my limit.

Balik bilik, took a brief nap then 6pm baru terhegeh2 nak mandi dan iron baju. 

6.30pm terus keluar dan get ready kat hall. Sempat edit lagi satu video masa niii

Okay panjang penjelasan kenapa aku keluar muka camni hahaha

Kulliyyah of Science Postgraduate family. 

I am quite reserve at some points but I am glad to meet such amazing and steel heart people.

Coz I know to get going of this degree needs more than intelligence.

Let's stay strong and keep going inshaAllah!

I think this should wrapped up my post tonight. 

Still, at this point I am patting my own self (since nobody is doing this haha) to let me know I can do the impossible. What an achievements. Good job dear self!

Desire vs true love

Back on my stable state.

Those shattered feelings are temporary alhamdulillah :)

Tapi yerla kan, kita manusia mana pernah perfect. Hari hari kita cuba untuk jadi yang lebih baik dan cuba bangun balik dan find ourself back apabila teruji dengan benda-benda yang melibatkan hati dan perasaan. Lepas sehari dua dah okay dah sebenarnya hehe. Aku dah kembali dengan agenda dan impian hidup yang lebih besar iaitu ingin membina generasi harapan. Generasi yang bakal menaikkan nama islam iAllah.

So let's focus on to be a better version of yourself.
Mari menimba ilmu, menjadi wanita yang berfikir.
Menjadi orang yang bermanfaat untuk orang lain dan untuk masyarakat.

Semalam sebelum tidur belek2 balik kata-kata dari yasmin mogahed. Lemme summarize it into a small passage.

She said that people are often confuse on hawa (desire) and true love. We ought to believe that our wife/husband are our true love and submit ourselves to them. Yes, they are real but that's not true love. True love is when we submit ourselves 100% to Allah SWT. Allah says in the book that Allah created you from yourselves mate so that you find tranquility in them (30:31). Real love brings about calm-not inner torment. True love allows you to be at peace with yourself and your god. Hawa will bring you miserable, you keep on chasing them but you'll never reach them. So what I felt must be bounded to my desire/hawa. It's normal and it's about how you take care of it.

So may Allah grant us someone who can eventually bring us closer to Allah swt.
Ameen

Distracted

Today I saw him at the 1st time after almost 3 years of hibernating from his figure.
I never tried to get his update or even view his profile in this time interval. I did not do it. As for today, I never intended to do so, but I received his photo from my friend who asked me whether he is the person we used to know. A picture of him in the badminton court, playing I reckoned. I verified and lose my mind lol.

It was disturbing, but the other part of me keep on viewing the picture over and over again.
I never thought these years of trying to recover myself, it actually brought a deep wound inside me and it is never 100% healed to my surprise.

Tipu lah kalau tak pernah wonder, how he's been doing lately. Tipu lah kalau tak rasa kita masih tunggu. Entah. I've been trying to rationalize my mind but my heart said the other way round. They do not sync at all.

If ever people asked me how it is felt. This is what I truly feel all these years.
Goodnight.

Life update!

Hi korang.

Salam Syawal ke 16!

Dah raya ke-16 dah, baru nak update blog yek. Hihi. Macam biasa la, kalau kat rumah memang bukak laptop pun tak sempat. Thesis satu chapter pun tarak! Confident je haritu sebelum raya nak bawak balik kerja, adalah alasan tak buat kerja rumah sangat. Takde makna nyaaa hmm

Tahun ni happy juga sebab dapat cuti raya lama. Sampai 2 minggu aku cuti hah. Start seminggu sebelum raya dah balik rumah. Pick up kak yang kat airport yang baru balik dari Bangladesh dan terus shoot balik rumah. Aku balik dah culture shock dengan kondisi rumah sendiri. Dah kenapa macam tongkang pecah? Urut dada sekejap haha sebab aku tahu aku yang kena settle semua tu sorang sebelum semua orang balik kampung wuwuwu. Disebabkan banyak sangat benda yang kena cover kat rumah tahun ni aku tak buat kuih langsung. Pecah tradisi rumah takde kuih dan of course tenat kondisi kuih kat rumah aku. Siap pesan kat kakak ipar balik ni bawak kuih banyak2 je, takyah bawak benda lain haha

Anyway, tahun ni sejujurnya Ramadhan aku agak kurang pencapaian macam bulan puasa yang sebelum ni. Sebab aku dah mula pening dengan thesis dan menghabiskan masa aku untuk paper dan journal. Cumanya jihad aku untuk mengawal portion makanan terlaksana dengan baik sekali di bulan Ramadhan ni! Gais aku dah tinggal semester last dan dalam proses menyiapkan thesis. Bangga tak dengan aku? Haha aku pun tak sangka dalam kepenatan aku memerah otak dan berjuang dalam lab, dah nak sampai penamat dah perjalanan master aku ni :')

Kurang tulis blog pun sebab tulis thesis dan article banyak sangat rasanya lol. Lagi dua minggu Kulliyah aku akan buat colloqium dan committee aku sekarang tengah sibuk mengeluarkan article untuk pelancaran majalah Postgraduate-zine/PG-zine. Ohooo so much things to do in this short time kan?

Aku tak berniat nak update secara detail hari raya haritu. Saje nak update apa yang berlaku dalam hidup lately. Cuma tahun ni apa yang aku belajar, raya memang medium yang terbaik untuk mengeratkan silaturrahim. Yang tak pernah bertandang rumah, tetiba muncul, dan masa tu la boleh kenal family kawan-kawan kita etc. Kalau masa lain, awkward kan? Itulah istimewanya Syawal. Kalau ramadhan masa kita hanya dating dengan Allah, tapi bila Syawal, masa untuk meraikan manusia dan orang sekeliling kita. Cantik Allah susun =)

Okay sebelum aku berundur aku belanja la satu gambar Syawal :D
Just so you know I am still here, alive and busy. As always hihihi.

Tahun ni full semua ada!

Selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin :)

Off to my data analysis & open house co-sv jap lagi. 

Toodles!

That 'dugeun-dugeun' feeling

Assalamualaikum peeps!

Ya tuhan.
Tak sempat langsung update like I mentioned in the previous post. Demam pru buat aku murung 2-3 hari. Cuba digest segala benda dan cuba move on sambil mendoakan dan mengharapkan yang terbaik untuk New Malaysia. Lagi buat aku murung bila semua orang sembang kencang kena ubah kerajaan, New Malaysia bagai tapi akhlak dan sikap rakyat Malaysia tak pernah nak berubah. Kutuk mengutuk lah, bahasa semua kelaut. Dengan agong2 pun korang berani. Waww. Ahh banyak lagi lah buat aku sakit kepala scroll fb dua tiga hari lepas. Nasib baik sambutan hari ibu dapat tone down all those hatred and comments.

Malaysians are so disappointing at one point.
Hmm, ok dah cukup.

Harini aku nak cerita pasal pasca GE14, hari hari yang aku akan kenang sebab dapat jumpa penulis fav aku heee. Remember I went to PWTC before going back to Kuala Kangsar?

Ada seorang penulis yang selalu buat aku jatuh cinta setiap kali baca artikel dia. Each time I read the article he wrote, each time I fall for it over and over again. Aku tak pernah pun rasa nak view profile dia ke apa ke because I was so in love with the articles. lol. I admire his writings so much that finally I read about his convert story! Dan masa tulah aku baru tengok 'crush' aku ni punya rupa hahaha. See, in my eyes your knowledge and intelligence come first before anything else. Aku bukanlah stock perempuan di luar sana yang tak semena-mena cair dengan kehenseman Syed Saddiq. *Tetiba* (No worries syed, I know you are extra-ordinary since our highschool years, no offense)

Dan bila seorang yang banyak membaca dan mengkaji, akhirnya dia jumpa islam on his own. Mati-mati aku ingat dia ni kacukan ke, rupanya dia ialah convert. Bahasa Melayu dia tip top habis lah, aku sangat admire orang bukan melayu yang boleh bercakap dan menulis bahasa melayu dengan baik. I just love watching them. Aku pernah baca pasal sifat keterbukaan orang Melayu ni sangat tinggi, sekarang baru aku rasa convince sikit aku ni memang darah Melayu sungguh, bukan berdarah jepun. Mungkin lah ada secalit sikit hehehe, nak jugak.

Anyway, sehari sebelum aku pegi PWTC aku dah feeling neves-neves. Inikah perasaan orang diluar sana yang tak sabar-sabar nak jumpa artis kpop/fatah amin kegemaran dorang? Haaa aku dah faham perasaan niii. So start daripada malam tu aku dah mula berdoa supaya Allah sentiasa jaga aku supaya aku tak 'over the-boundaries' sentiasa jaga akhlak dalam keterujaan aku nak jumpa fav author aku. Alhamdulillah Allah memang jaga sungguh, sebab lepas dapat autograph dia, aku terus blah tanpa mengeluarkan sepatah perkataan pun -___-

Pastu menyesal sikit. hahahaha.
Lepastu mood kembali seronok sebab dia mention nama aku dalam post dia. Terima kasih ingat 'Syafiqa'. 2 hari aku seronok sebab ni je sampai lah GE ruin everything lol.

Aku rasa aku sangat lack of knowledege dengan isu-isu yang dia tulis. Bila aku baca, terus rasa macam mind blowing sangat. Korang yang dah terer ni mungkin lah tak rasa excited macam aku lol, tapi bila berbicara tentang bangsa dan agama, sefikrah la pulak rasa kita ni ya huhuhu.

Buat korang yang wonder,

Aku bercakap tentang penulis buku: Dunia tanpa tembok & Mencabar teori konspirasi.
Haaaa. Google sendiri siapa penulis dia.

Sorry aku nebes 'dugeun-dugeun' pulak hati aku, 

sampai tertutup tajuk buku tu. 

Aku dah habis baca buku Dunia Tanpa tembok. Recommended sangat untuk orang yang nak  memahami percaturan kuasa dunia, kuasa politik yang berkait rapat dengan faktor geografi sesebuah negara. Mencabar teori konspirasi belum lagi. 

Aku harap dengan kehadiran penulis yang membawa ilmu sebegini tanpa menggunakan jargon2 tertentu dapat mendidik rakyat marhaen macam aku ni untuk faham bagaimana sistem sesebuah negara. 

PS: I hope you will produce more books so I have the reason to meet you again simply because I have lots of questions to ask you. 

#Syafiqamemilih

Assalamualaikum semua

Hari ni ialah hari yang bersejarah buat Malaysia. Selama 60 tahun ditadbir oleh Barisan Nasional, today is a total flipped. A hard one.

PRU14 menandakan rakyat mampu membuat perubahan.

Kali ni nak cakap dari hati.
Harini juga beberapa kali air mata ni tumpah huhu.
So yeah, to be honest I have mixed feeling.

Perasaan bercampur baur. Anak muda sekarang banyak yang hanya risau pada perut sendiri. Dalam keadaan ekonomi mencekik maka berbondong-bondonglah mereka melaung-laungkan sentimen perlu tumbangkan kerajaan. Mereka nampak kena hapuskan gst, minyak naik tol dan sebagainya (this is true, no offense), mereka tidak melihat bagaimana agama kita perlu dijaga, dipertahankan kedaulatannya. Tanpa mengira calon, asalkan blok yang menentang BN, laju je masing-masing nak undi. Tak buat homework langsung pasal calon yang perlu diundi. Malah ada yang pangkah undi melihat pada simbol, tanpa tahu pun nama wakil parti tersebut. Kata nak yang terbaik untuk Malaysia tapi tak pernah kenal pun calon yang nak diundi tu. Shame on people like this!

Sebagai seorang muslim, setiap sudut dalam kehidupan kita perlu buat keputusan dengan berlandaskan keredhaan Allah. Sesuatu yang harus seorang khalifah lakukan; memakmurkan muka bumi dengan rahmah Islam. Tapi kalau pemimpin non-muslim yang kita pilih, dimana kedaulatan agama kita? Umat islam sepatutnya bersatu, mengundi atas tiket calon muslim yang berwibawa. Kita sepatutnya bersepakat memilih seseorang yang boleh membawa nama islam dan syiar-syiar Islam ke parlimen. Bukan semata 'asal BN jatuh'. 

I am so sad today. 

Whether or not the government is ruled by either parties, 

I can't see good Muslim leaders dominating the parliament. 

Today is a mourn day.

Nevertheless, I am still a proud Malaysian girl who wants a better Malaysia which uplifting Islam.
I am talking with the view of how I see the new generation campaigning everyday without considering what a real Muslim should do. 

Jangan negara kita menjadi seperti Turki.

Rakyat terlampau inginkan kemodenan, 

percaya dengan pemimpin yang dianggap mampu membawa perubahan, 

akhirnya terhakis dan tergadai nilai islam.

Turki hari ini ialah negara yang sekular. 

And I seriously think we're leading in that way too. 

Travel stories update :)

Hi guys!

Lama dah tak cerita pasal travel kan?

I came back from Sarawak recently. This is actually my second time went there. The 1st one was 8 years ago when I was still 16teen but that trip was not considered as really a vacation because all we did was more to visiting my dad's friend whom he didn't met for almost 40 years. Abah was the 1st batch teacher who came to Sarawak to teach Bahasa Melayu from semenanjung at that time. And while he was still a young lad, he met a kind hearted lady who used to cook for him lunch and dinner. Eventually that makcik and pakcik Palah became his foster family. So we went up to Julau and even Dalat (We learned the story of Dalat during our form 1 literature components if you guys can still remember), visiting his 1st posting school as a teacher, we even went to his rumah sewa back then. I know abah was happy, but we didn't get the chance to feel as happy as him, LOL. So yeah, we went again and this time we visited quite numbers of places. And of course, most importantly the taste of Sarawak food. Comparing the two state lying on the land of Borneo: I must say food in Sarawak fits my taste buds more than the food I had in Sabah. But the spectacular beaches views and sunset in Sabah wins over trees and forest I've seen in Sarawak.

This is actually my 2nd family trip after Bandung in January. Bandung was so much fun too since my bestfriend from high school tagged along as well. But as soon as I came back from Bandung, I received numerous works I need to settle. And because we had my niece Aqiqah held not long after that trip, I lost spark of writing about it. I was too exhausted I think lol. Travelling back and forth, cleaning and doing chores at house, finishing my lab works and writing at the same time.

The last few months were quite intense coz datelines are all on ques.
Sigh.

Anyway, I will write up my Bandung story after this maybe if I have the time. The place is amazing, foods were wonderful and people are just so soft and polite. The only cons was it rained heavily on the second last day so we missed out the most important scenic moment and pictures in Bandung which was to visit Kawah Putih and the nearby Danau. It was kind of cold up there and the rain did not even allowed us to get even a glimpse of the Danau huhuhu. All we could see was fog. But then Abah said, kalau ada anak-anak abah nak kawin, kita pergi Bandung lagi sebab nak beli kain hahaha. I think 4 days and 3 nights were so short to discover the hidden gem in Bandung. Overall both were great journey.

My travel diaries officially started when I studied abroad. Oh maybeee, a year before that coz my family started to bring me flying to see the world. Since I got like much free time before pursuing my studies at that time. 9 months were not a short period that I ended up going to 3 countries. Going around Asian countries after several years spending times travelling around southern zone of the world, I am more and more proud to be Asian hihi. Because I think Asian are unique creatures which hold much more tradition and cultures which I love experiencing them.

I'll be back to Kuala Kangsar tomorrow after dropping by Pesta Buku at PWTC and that is, obviously for voting and PRU purpose. I take the chance to have a week off from Kuantan. Going back relaxing at my hometown, trying many many recipes I saved on facebook and making my sister and dad eating all them up soon. No worries people. I'll chip in my entries in between.

See you soon.
Bye! :D